I want to see you ... hear your voice ... smell that unique smell that was yours alone ...
I need a hug from you ... I need you to pat my face and tell me it's all going to be ok ...
I want to tell you about everything that is going on in my life - all the good stuff ... and all the not-so-good stuff, too.
You would be so proud of Mandy ... she has grown up so well! She is a beautiful lady, with a precious spirit, and still has that giving and loving heart. She is such a good momma to Elijah and Brooklyn - oh how you would love both of them! Brooklyn would be your snuggle bug as much as Mandy ever was. And Elijah? Well, he would be one of those that would make you say the ugly words! LOL He is ornery, but oh how much I love that boy! You would too.
And you would be just as proud of Joshua. He has grown up big and strong! He is such a good looking man! He works hard, too, Momma. He is a loving daddy, oh he is firm, but he is a big teddy bear! He has never hurt Shell and Kyla - and he never will. I trust him completely. You and Kyla would be best friends, she likes to talk and you always liked to listen. Shell? Well, he is a lot like Joshua was all those years ago - ornery and loving, too.
Momma, i miss you so much today. The tears just won't stop this afternoon - the more i think about you, the more the tears stream down. I love you Momma.
Life is hard Momma - harder than i ever thought it would be. I wish you were here to help me figure it all out.
I think about you a lot ... when I cook , when I clean. I think about you when I see a pumpkin ... when we eat at McDonald's. I think about you when I make a gallon of tea, when I wash a load of clothes. Momma, you and I did so much together for so long -- all those years of me growing up, and then for those years before you had to go into the nursing home. We cooked, we cleaned, we canned, we shopped, we ate, we laughed, we cried, we talked ... no wonder I miss you so much!
Every once in a while when either Mandy or Joshua have been working hard, and all the smells of the day are on them, and they give me a hug -- well, I think I smell you ... and my heart leaps ... and it hurts. I love you Momma.
I miss you, too.