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January 13, 2019

1/13/2019

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Well, at least I drink coffee ☕☕️☕️

This -

Mmmmm...Coffee ☕️☕️ in the cup, bacon 🥓🥓 in the skillet, biscuits 🍞 (sorry, no biscuit emoji lol) in the oven, eggs 🥚🥚cooking, too & still sweet conversation with a friend … on a cold & quiet winter's morning. What a wonderful start to a Sunday

Whoever said, "Sticks and stones may break the bones, but words will never harm" did NOT know one thing about life. No matter how strong you build the walls around your heart to guard and protect, some words find their way thru (or over/under). Wishing I were a duck this morning, or at least had the same protection they have - you know, that oiliness on their feathers to make the water just roll on off. Sigh. If that stuff could be packaged to put around the heart? $$Millions$$ could be made immediately! Sigh

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January 12th, 2019

1/12/2019

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Good morning Y'all ☕☕️☕️
Thank you to all who supported me during this most recent Facebook jail time.
I promise to do better at being "good".
To only post pretty pictures, funny memes, cute videos, and uplifting words.
Oh wait!
A picture wishing Jimmy Page a Happy Birthday + a picture of Niagara Falls frozen in 1911 = landed me in Facebook jail THIS TIME! *shaking my head*
Which most likely means that no matter what I post or share, it will happen again.
As long as I am a target of someone's frustration & anger.
To whoever has done this: Bring it on! Take your best shot.
You can't keep a strong Southern woman down.
Yes, this has given me pause to think, it has also changed a part of me deep within. I
f you didn't like me before?
There is the distinct possibility - no, a high probability … no, almost a solid guarantee - you won't like me now!
In the words of my Sweetheart, "Whatever it takes for you to sleep at night",
I shall take the high road, and Karma WILL have your ass!
Bless your heart!

I love the look of frozen fog, or even frozen rain, on a fence.

This was a year ago.
Sounds good this weekend, too

Natural Ice and Snow Pillar at Ash Cave in the Hocking Hills

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January 10 & 11, 2019

1/11/2019

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Guess I needed a break from Facebook.
In some ways, it has been kind of nice. Less drama.
But in other ways? I miss the interaction with others. And I miss sharing my thoughts as I go thru the day.
Sigh.

Perhaps tomorrow.

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January 9, 2019

1/9/2019

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I've been thinking about Rick a lot lately (no surprise there).
It is an honor to have been loved by him - his first true love ... and his last.
That he loved me just like our vows said, "Till death do us part".
I wanted the fairy tale dream, where we loved & laughed & lived until we were both over 100 and then died together while making love.
But just to know that he died loving me, and that I was there touching him.
There is comfort in that knowledge.
I love you BIG, Rick.
Always have, and I forever will.
Your Meg.

What if Rick wasn't supposed to be my "happy ever after", but I was his?
Perhaps I was put in his life to help him, to see him thru to the end.
Doesn't make the emptiness any less, or the ache easier.
Doesn't wrap arms around me to comfort and hold me.
But these are the thoughts that play in the back of my mind as I work.

What I crave: Coffee. Hugs. Forehead kisses. Laughter. The moon. Snow. Stars. Deer. Flowers. Sunrises. Sunsets. Icicles. Leaves that look like a woodpecker. Clouds. Moments and memories.

Irish spinner and spinning wheel.
County Galway, Ireland

So cool!
Moon above the waterfall

Today I will miss
being held.
If even for just a moment.
HELD.
Sigh.

Today I will miss the sweet ending to the day.
Arms that tenderly hold me.
An innocent forehead kiss.
The soothing sounds of sleepy breathing.
Cheek laid against skin.
Sigh.

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January 8, 2019

1/8/2019

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Hugs are always wanted.
Being held is sometimes needed.

Sadly although this is true, few people live it out.

Seems so few people get this these days.

I've always been like this.
Not sure if it is a blessing or a curse.

Some lessons are difficult.

Damn. 😓

What I miss the most today?
Cuddling.
On the couch while watching tv & in the middle of the night.
The gift of touch is more important than I could ever have imagined.
Skin hungers.
Ever miss something so much it physically HURTS?
Sigh.

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January 7, 2019

1/7/2019

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Coffee Grinder History
So when did coffee grinders come about? Back in this time in Ethiopia (around 800 A.D.), when coffee was starting to find a number of uses, the stone mortar and pestle were the go-to coffee grinders of choice.
Mortar & Pestle – The Original Coffee Grinder
It wasn’t long after coffee was discovered as something we could consume in various forms that humans started to experiment with it – and part of that experimentation meant grinding up the coffee cherry seeds, not to mention cooking or roasting them. Can you imagine being there when the first person discovered what happens when you actually roast coffee beans over a low flame? Wow!
As these mortar & pestle combos were the primitive versions of coffee grinders back in our history, they were used more out of pragmatism and they had not yet entered their highly decorative phase as you will see.
Certain stones or pieces of wood were selected to fulfill their purposes – obviously people must have had their favorites, so you might say this was the beginning of “style” when it came to coffee grinders.
Perhaps these objects, used to pulverize coffee for a variety of purposes, were looked upon with great reverence at the time. Or, perhaps they were no more valuable than a common fork or spoon is today. One would assume that if coffee had the air of magic about it, that the mortar and pestle must have had some special aura about them as well.
Even up until present day, things like coffee are still crushed by this mortar and pestle method in certain places.

This was about 2 years before Rick went on dialysis. A spur-of-the-moment, want-a-coke, day. We left Sulphur Springs and started driving south. Ended up in Luckenbach, TX. Didn't get a coke there, but Rick did get a Coors Light bottle with an armadillo sketched into it by an elderly gentleman while they talked. What a sweet memory!

Isn't this Quilt AMAZING?!
This won first place at the Houston International Quilt Festival....
such talent!
Made by --> Karlee Porter

I'm trying.
But the heart gets weary.
I miss my defender.
💔

He had just gotten back from a week's vacation to Oregon. This was the week that changed our life. It was a few days after this vacation that he proposed to me at the City Park in Sulphur Springs, telling me that after being away from me a week, then being with me a week, he never wanted to be away again- - and he wasn't.

True story. My children can say the same thing, too ;) Guarantee it didn't hurt any of us! Taught us honor, respect, gratitude. It's a shame so many of the generations younger than me (57), do not know the truth of these words.

I ❤ lightning bugs. Mesmerizing to me.

The promise of day, of hope.
No matter how dark the night,
No matter how deep the heart weariness …
There is morning.
Glorious sunrise.

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January 6, 2019

1/6/2019

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I don't believe the words written against me. Everyone is free to their own opinions. Just heart weary. You would think that with no response this person would stop. Sigh.

💞☕💞💞☕💞💞☕💞💞☕💞

I remind myself daily, knowing how blessed I was to have him love me until his last breath. Yes though, I miss being loved.

Perhaps if we took these words as the truth they are, it would make us more careful.

💞☕💞💞☕💞💞☕💞💞☕💞

The scene behind a frozen waterfall. Wow!

💞☕💞💞☕💞💞☕💞💞☕💞

Another thing I miss. Rick would brush my hair, especially when I was stressed, tired, just had the oofies, or had a headache. My kids & grandkids would all play with my hair - I was the "model" for all their hair creations. Lol

💞☕💞💞☕💞💞☕💞💞☕💞

If anyone sends me a chat message or text message and I do not answer quickly, please forgive me. I have silenced the notifications sounds on my phone due to unwanted text messages. 😏

💞☕💞💞☕💞💞☕💞💞☕💞

For January 5: I missed the most? That pat on the butt whenever we got close. No matter where we were. Just one soft pat.
Thankful the most? Sunshine. How good to see the sun after days of grey skies.

For today, January 6: I miss the most? Not having to defend myself against rude and hateful behavior. Thankful the most? Knowing that this too shall pass, hopefully.

💞☕💞💞☕💞💞☕💞💞☕💞💞☕💞💞☕💞💞☕💞💞☕💞

A SOLDIER’S SUPRISE
by Gail Litrenti-Benedetto, Park Ridge, Illinois
It is spring of 1943 during World War II. Standing among hundreds of new soldiers at Camp Grant, in Illinois, my father, Sam, just 18 years old, waits as a truck slowly drives by. A full field pack is randomly tossed to each soldier. “How strange,” my father thinks, as he sees his last name, Litrenti, marked on each item in his pack. “How did they know it was me when they tossed the pack?” He was impressed! Beating all odds, my father was tossed a field pack from World War I—his own father’s.

💞☕💞💞☕💞💞☕💞💞☕💞💞☕💞💞☕💞💞☕💞💞☕💞💞☕💞💞☕💞

Thank you to the one who shared this with me. I promise myself to think more like this on 2019. 💞
I’M SO IN LOVE with this BRAVE WOMAN. I’ve betrayed her. I’ve not loved her at full capacity. I’ve fed her lies & once told her she wasn’t good enough. I’ve allowed her to be broken. I’ve allowed her to run through brick walls & battle for others who won’t even stand for her. I couldn’t stop individuals from abandoning her, yet I’ve seen her still get up to be a light to the world & love others despite all. I’ve stood paralyzed by fear as she faced battles alone, watching her fight for those she loves. Forgive me for not going to war for you like you do for others. This QUEEN is a WARRIOR. She’s not perfect but the Gods call her WORTHY! She’s UNSTOPPABLE. Gracefully broken but beautifully standing. She is love. She is life. She is transformation. She is grace. She is BRAVE! She builds Arks before there is any rain. Who wouldn’t fall in love with her for a lifetime? #timetoputmyselffirstforonce #lovewhoyouare #iamenough 🙌🏽⭐️ Please Repost With A Picture Of Yourself.

💞☕💞💞☕💞💞☕💞💞☕💞💞☕💞💞☕💞💞☕💞💞☕💞

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January 5, 2019

1/5/2019

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Good morning. Coffee story time. ☕️
There have been many times that my "smart" phone has made me feel stupid, but never as much as it did this morning. 😏
But first, in my defense of innocence👼, let me say that I woke up again at 2:40 a.m. with leg cramps, a headache, and severe nausea. I sat there rubbing my leg, trying not to think, and breathing deeply to calm my tummy. It took until almost 4 a.m. to quiet my body down enough to even get sleepy again. Knowing that I needed to wake up at 5:45 a.m. (work day today), I checked my alarm. Realizing how tired I was I was afraid that I would not hear the alarm. So, since I slept in a sundress with an elastic bodice, I slipped my phone down into the front of my dress, and I went to sleep.
Now, second in my defense, I was going thru some of my things between Christmas and New Year's - a purging of sorts. And I found a package of panties that were brand new. Yeah, me. However, I have lost some weight since buying them, so they are about a size and half too big. Didn't think about that being an issue.
I woke up at 6:06 a.m. thinking of nothing but making coffee. ☕️As I was putting the coffee and water into the pot, I felt that uncomfortable urgency to pee. (TMI? I'm sure it will be worth it.) I focused intensely on getting the coffee going. About that time, I thought about my phone. I felt the top of my dress, no phone. Did I dream that I put it there? I walked over to the recliner, did not see my phone. But the urgency to pee was greater than the desire to find my phone.
I started back to the bathroom, reminding myself that I needed to plug my phone in for a charge when I found it.
Almost to the bathroom and a light came on.
Under my dress.
Lower than my waist.
? ? ? 🧐
Losing all sense of needing to pee at that moment, I realized what had happened.
One more "in my defense", I have a popper on the back of my phone to help me not drop it (I have arthritis in my right hand, and sometimes I simply lose the grasp on things).
Ok, to finish this.
My phone had slipped down into my dress, I assume when I stood up. The popper had hung on my panties. I also assume that in moving around the screen had come on, or the flashlight button had been activated. 😒
Yes, I retrieved my phone from my panties, turned the screen & flashlight off, plugged it in.
Then made a mad urgent dash to the bathroom to PEE!
So that was the beginning of my Saturday morning. How is yours? Sigh

This has been a hard and painful heart lesson.

Ruth Hensinger was married on this day in 1947, wearing a dress made from the nylon parachute that saved her husband's life.
Maj. Claude Hensinger, a B-29 pilot, was returning from a raid over Japan in August 1944 when his engine caught fire. When he proposed to Ruth after the war, he offered her the material from the parachute that saved him.
She worked with a seamstress to create the bodice, and used the strings on the parachute to shorten the front of the dress and create a train in the back.
The dress was also worn by their daughter and by their son’s bride before being donated to our National Museum of American History.

Although I am homesick for this place, I choose to not search for it. If it is to be again, for it did exist at one time for me, it will just have to find me. I am concentrating on this moment, looking for the smiles & the laughter. Learning to love life just as it is. Knowing well how it can change in a heart beat.

I love this picture.
Having been to many old country stores,
I know how this store smells inside,
I can hear the creaking of the floor boards.
Oh the stories that are being told on this porch!
The laughter that rings in the air. T
he ice cold drinks, with bits of ice frozen to the bottle that drips on the shirt as it melts. Ahhhh...yes, I love this picture -
and the memories it invokes.

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January 4, 2019

1/4/2019

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I'm in a really dark place right now.
Sorry guys.
False alarm.
I was putting my shirt on and got my head stuck in the arm hole.

This is being played out. Sigh. I keep reminding myself that I have done nothing wrong. I'm not perfect. But, this? Nope.

Even from a weary heart, I forgive. I know my heart and mind, my life. Drama isn't my desire.

Something to aspire to in 2019.

Trying to stay focused on the good, let go of the negative. Be thankful for the little things & listen to the kind and sweet words. Let the insults roll away. But sometimes, well, sometimes it is hard. My heart is still tender, even though I am working daily on hardening the guard about it. Sigh.

Today, January 4, I miss being held. That simple act that means so much. Just being held, for a quiet moment. <3
And I will be thankful for silly laughter, especially the laughter over the "dad jokes", or puns.

I grew up with Lefty's songs. Momma sang them (even tho she couldn't carry a tune in a bucket <3), and she played them on her mouth harp. Momma took care of Lefty & David Frizzel when they were kids. Many stories I heard about Lefty from Momma as I was a kid growing up & listening to his music. Lefty wrote his first song for Momma. And he promised that he would buy her a set of pearls when his first song was played on the radio. Several years later, she received a package in the mail. When she opened it, there was a string of pearls in a black box. No note, but she knew where they came from. <3 Those pearls were my Momma's prized possession. She only wore them on special occasions. Years went by, and one day, a grandkid pulled on them just a bit too hard, and they broke. Momma shed a tear as she packaged them and put them in her drawer. I caught her on occasion looking at them, with a soft tear and a sweet smile. When Momma died, I got those pearls. I treasured them, broke as they were. A while back I told this story to a dear friend. He gave me the most special Christmas gift, for he had them fixed at the jewelry store & returned them to me today. I wear them with honor - for Lefty, for my Momma, and for my sweet friend. I do not have the words to express my appreciation for your kindness. Thank you Blaine.

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January 3, 2019

1/3/2019

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Searching for that balance as for a hidden treasure.

For my family & friends in Texas

This.
This would be the absolute perfect vacation.

You. Are. Welcome. Lol

Me. 😒

If it were not necessary,
I wouldn't have a phone.
Sigh.

Does it make me an evil person to hope this is true Karma? Sigh

I'm learning to make this decision better, and stand firmer in those decisions.

What a great movie!

True story. Lol

And that is my heritage

Last night the missing of Rick, and all that went with him, was overwhelming.
As I lay there, the tears fell silently until I fell asleep.
I woke up around 3 (as usual).
Sitting in the chair trying not to think,
I made the decision to allow myself one thing each day to miss most,
but also to search for and mention one thing that I am thankful for being blessed with
in that day.
Today I will do 3 of each, to catch up to today.
For January 1:
Missing the most?
Hugs. The innocent ones, that simply say, "I care about you".
Thankful most?
For the UK Cats winning the Citrus Bowl :)
That was an AWESOME game! Enjoyed it so much!
For January 2:
Missing the most?
Forehead kisses. Again, they simply say, "I care about you".
Thankful most?
For a granddaughter who sends me chat messages
simply because she loves her Grannee and misses me.
I love you Kyla.
And for today, January 3:
Missing the most? A kiss.
One that makes me feel like I deserve that kiss, that I am worthy of being kissed.
Thankful most?
Coffee. ☕️☕️☕️

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January 13, 2019

January 12th, 2019

January 10 & 11, 2019

January 9, 2019

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