God has been good to me.
A husband who loves me, but who tries to tell me that I am spoiled - humph! LOL He is my best friend ... my soul's heartbeat. 2 awesome kids. A daughter and a son who want to spend time with me :-). Such a blessing!!! They have brought me laughter and tears. Joy unspeakable. They are my strength. My heart. My daughter gave me one of the best birthday presents ever this year ... the thoughts, the plans of a surprise birthday party. Due to hubby's job - plans got changed. But just the thought, the plans - and that she did it!!! I love her so much!!! (I have never had a birthday "party" - so I know I would have enjoyed it!!! :-) ) God allowed us to visit with our son on Saturday evening. We were in the area, and Joshua wanted to take momma out to eat for her birthday. It did my heart and soul a world of good! :-) 6 PERFECT grandkids!!! I don't care what their daddies and momma's say! They ARE PERFECT!!! Perfectly mine! And I am perfectcly happy with all of them! They are all unique, they all have their ways of bringing laughter to my heart, and a tear to my eye. They are the wind beneath my wings! A family that puts the FUN in dysfunctional :-)! LOL More friends than I ever thought I would have! Friends who encourage and inspire. Friends who lend to the convictions. Friends who lift me up and carry me thru the darkest of moments. God has seen me thru a lot of heartaches and a lot of seasons of grief ... He remains my strength and my stay thru it all. He has given me rainbows in the midst of the storms. To me, turning a "number" at my birthday is not a big issue ... the hardest birthdays I have "endured" were not because of a number - but rather due to the circumstances of life. And birthdays tend to enlarge the "issues" sometimes. This year, turning 50, was a bit hard. Again, not because of the number - but just "LIFE". KWIM? It has been a difficult year (since the last birthday) ... and I was feeling a bit discouraged - but husband, kids, grandkids, family and friends ... THANK YOU FOR ALREADY MAKING THIS A GOOD 50TH!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!! Working here at the house today ... cleaning up Rick's work truck ... unpacking ... going thru receipts and paperwork ... trying to catch up on blogs ... going to catch up on reading the Word! Planning to take a good hot long shower :-) ... watch a movie ... just some DOWNTIME :-)!!! Rick is getting us breakfast sandwiches at Subway this morning ... looking forward to a quiet breakfast! We are still thinking and praying about going OTR - we have conflicting emotions and thoughts about it all. Not wanting to do anything that God doesn't want for us! Jeremiah 29:11. ...Well, on to the day and doing "catch up" :-)!
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Been working on "spring cleaning" this week ...
...financially - 2 payments from having Rick's motorcycle paid off ... 1 payment from having his truck paid off ... praying about getting our stuff brought down from Idaho (yes, it will be an expense, but once here it will free up the storage rental money eachmonth) ... we have decided not to buy any more "stuff" unless it is something that we truly NEED (and are learning that there is a BIG difference in what we NEED vs. what we WANT!) ... ...Rick got me a new computer this week :-). So, spending time going thru these older ones and the various disks ... getting the new one set up. ...spiritually - still praying that God will purge me and purify me. Make me to be holy to Himself. It is my desire to practice what God has been teaching me. ...relationships - praying. Past hurts and offenses are hard to let go of. God has been showing me some things about forgiveness this week. (1)If I look for an opportunity to "pay it back" - then, I really haven't forgiven. (2)If presented with an opportunity to "pay it back" and I have no desire to, then I am on the way to forgiveness. (3)Not forgiving hurts me more than it hurts someone else. (4)Unforgiveness gives the offender a power of control over me. So, in this - I am ready to forgive. Ready to just let it go. It is not worth the effort. Let GOD deal with them. I'm tired. Sigh. ...taking a hard look around in this house. I have too much stuff! Spending time to clean it, and keep it all in place ... time to get rid of stuff that is only here to "fill space"! What would be so wrong to have more "open space" in the house? For me in my life right now? NOTHING!!! So, I welcome this change! ...physically. Beginning with an attitude change. Eating to live. NOT living to eat! **Lord help me in all this! May my life become that which will honor you and make you say - "That's MY child! Ya'll come look and see!" :-) I have learned one thing ... the only constant in life is GOD.
The Word says that God is the same - yesterday, today and forever. Everything else changes. Sometimes change is good. Sometimes not so good. And sometimes, change doesn't look good - or feel good - until we are well past it and then we look back. Today brings a wind of change once again to our lives ... I know the winds are coming - I can already hear the rustling of the leaves ... I don't know from which direction they come, nor which way they will blow us. So, in this quiet time, this aloneness - I wait ... I wonder ... I pray ... Well ... here I go again. Trying to find that "perfect" website - one that works for me ... one that this hillbilly grannee can figure out! LOL
I have tried several that had to be paid for - which I don't mind paying for a service that will actually WORK for me. But the ones that I have had in the last 5 years - guess I just wasn't smarter than the control panels! LOL So, this is another attempt to have ONE website ... bringing all my thoughts and studies and "stuff" together. Good luck, huh??? LOL We left Portales, NM with a load of cream yesterday morning - driving to Winnsboro, TX to unload.
Then, it is time for Rick to take a 34 hour reset on his log. So, we will be at the house for a little while.... Stopped in Cisco, TX last evening - met up with Joshua, Dessie, Shell and Kyla. I NEEDED that Momma and Grannee time!!! (Wish it could have been more time, and with ALL my kids and grandkids!!! Sigh.) So much laughter listening to Kyla talk about going to the zoo and seeing the snake! LOL Then to see the seriousness in her eyes as she said, "Oh and Grannee! You should have gone to the mall with us!" I asked her if it is was fun ... she looked at me so confused. "No!" ROFL!!! (I'm still wondering why I should have gone if it wasn't fun! ROFL!!!) I think that is the hardest part of being on the road for me - missing my kids and grandkids. Feeling like I am nothing more than a "come-and-go Momma and Grannee" ... and with every breath wanting to be an "everyday Momma and Grannee" ... sigh. Lord, help me!!! I am going to cook while at the house these 34 hours. Trying to figure out the best way to stick to the diet program while being on the road. So, am going to cook some meals for carrying out this trip. Also, whoever had this truck before Rick - smoked HEAVILY inside it. YUCK!!! It stinks!!! We have run with the windows down ... have sprayed Febreeze till it is hard to breathe ... still it stinks!!! We are going to clean the truck with some strong cleaners and heavy elbow grease ... air it out ... shampoo the seats and carpets ... try whatever we can to make it smell better!!! Yes, I support a person's right to smoke - if that is their choice. No matter what I think or believe about smoking. But when it begins to infringe on my right to BREATHE!!! That's when I draw the line!!! I'm sorry. I have some things I want to do - genealogy, putting all my recipes together, scrapbooking, working on websites - just having a difficult time trying to figure out all the "how-to's" with being on the road. The roads are rough ... but a milk truck is not noted for a smooth ride anyway! Too much liquid sloshing around with every movement. And there isn't a lot of room in the truck - especially sitting in the passenger seat. Just trying to figure it all out ... let the desire and need be the "mother of invention and creativity". LOL Sometimes I wonder if living on the road isn't meant for a younger body! This old body is having a difficult time getting used to the bouncing and the lack of "schedule". Sigh. But such is the life a trucker (and ride along wife) ... We eat when we can ... We sleep when we are stopped ... Bathroom breaks only as absolutely necessary ... A lot of sitting ... And a lot of thinking and praying!!! Last night we were caught in a traffic jam on I-30 in the Grand Prairie, TX area. Freeway was shut down due to construction. Traffic jam because we were going from 5 lanes of traffic to none! We were in our lane, and in the lane next to us was a WDT milk transport truck. A small KIA Soul, driven by a teenage girl and with 4 or 5 more teenagers in there, tried to come between the 2 milk trucks! There was nowhere for either truck to go - so both drivers just maintained distance and speed. The car of teenagers continued to "squeeze" - until they almost squeezed too much! OMW! The honking she did! The gestures, the hanging out the window and hollering at both milk truck drivers! Good grief!!! All I could do was to sit there and be "amazed" ... shake my head, laugh in disbelief, wonder where the common courtesy was, wonder what has happened to common sense??? For the last couple of weeks Rick and I both have been struggling to just breathe!
Coughing and congested ... the CRUD!!! OMW!!! This has literally kicked our butts!!! We haven't been this sick in a LONG time!!! Upper respiratory CRUD ... lungs clear, bronchial virus ... Rick took a round of antibiotics but couldn't tell it made a difference at all. Delsym morning and night just to get a little relief from the coughing. Lifesavers to help keep the throat moist. Throat isn't sore - more raw from all the coughing. Sinus drainage that makes us feel like we are choking all the time. Tried Mucinex-D - but since that targets the congestion in the lungs ... and the lungs are clear - well ... couldn't tell we took it. Maybe it helped ??? Rick is taking Coricidin - day and night time ... that seems to be helping him more than anything else he has found. Drinking as much water as we can to help stay hydrated, and keep all the "junk" thin. Not much of an appetite - soup is better tolerated than most anything else. Drinking some juice to help with the Vitamin C ... eating fruit and veggies as much as possible. Breathing in ... breathing out ... Praying for healing!!! *** Rick had his first Iron IV yesterday - Feraheme ... He tolerated it very well. No side effects. Praise God!!! He has another IV next Tuesday. Then, more blood work the following week - to check all his numbers. Dr. Cochran said that he would go over all the test results and call us to discuss the next step. If the Iron IV works (and we pray it does!) - then the usual course is to begin the shots to help rebuild Rick's red blood cells. ... Rick has another appointment next month with the kidney specialist ... and one with Dr. Arneke. Check-ups/follow-ups. *** Still working to get his blood pressure down and more stable - Please help us PRAY for wisdom and for direction. Not only for diet and exercise wisdom - but for lifestyle changes wisdom, for medication wisdom. His blood sugar is doing better. He is learning what to eat and not to eat, as well as when and how much. Some things (such as saltine crackers) he can eat - but has to eat earlier in the day, not after about 4 p.m. *** Please continue to pray for HEALING. For wisdom. And for God to find the way to use us for His honor and glory thru all this. How is it that a month goes by and I haven't written here ... again?
Sigh. Life ... Rick and I have both been sick ... Upper Respiratory CRUD. Bronchial virus. Coughing. Congested. Sinus drainage. Fever. Earaches (me). Headaches. Body aches and pains. I haven't been this sick in YEARS!!! Heard my self making the statement (more than once) that I knew I wasn't going to die ... because I would have to feel better to die! Sigh. *Thinking, hoping, praying - that we are on the upside of it all now! We are both coughing less, and when we do cough it is a bit more productive. Fevers are down. My ears are itching - which means they are getting well. Sinus still draining and making us feel like we are choking all the time, but not as "nasty" as it was. We are drinking juice in moderation - trying to "up" the Vitamin C ... along with fruits and veggies as much as we can tolerate. Drinking lots of water to stay hydrated and keep everything thin. Soup is better tolerated than most anything else. Added some frozen peas and carrots to chicken and stars soup the other night - YUMMY! Trying to rest ... but LIFE goes on ... even when sick ... Rick has changed jobs. He is now working for Indian River Transport. Hauling food grade products in a tanker truck. So far, 2 loads - both milk. One to Shreveport, LA and one to New Orleans, LA. He is based out of Clovis, NM. The pay is better - .35 per mile vs .26 per mile ... And I get to go with him. I did go with him some when he worked for Ballard's - but it was a "don't ask, don't tell" policy. And to be honest - we both got tired of playing that game. So, now, I go and I can talk about it, blog about it, take pictures and post them, whatever! Good and bad - I am there with Rick. Being on the road all the time isn't a "perfect" life ... there are a lot of adjustments to be made. But then, what life is "perfect"? Life is just LIFE. Good and bad ... and some days just indifferent. Lord, help us to live as unto YOU. Worshipping you with our life's song. I love you Lord! I love you. |
So why "Scattered Feathers" ? ? ?You can read it here Past Posts
April 2023
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