Sure was good to visit with Al & Christine again tho. Sad that it couldn't have been for longer. I love them so much! They have such a way to make us feel at home, and yet special, too. :-) Once again - all our appreciation to them for opening their home to us!
The rest of the week was spent getting the report on Rick about needing to place the catheter for dialysis - scheduled for this next Tuesday at ETMC in Tyler. Sigh.
There is SO MUCH to think about and to process with the reality of dialysis. Just the actual dialysis is enough to overwhelm us. But the diet changes (again)!!! And the whole lifestyle changes! OMW!!! So, please - keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we try to find the way thru all this, and maintain our sanity in the process!!!
The therapist was well pleased with the shoulder, arm, wrist, and hand. He gave us good news (which Lord knows we need right now!) -- said that since Rick is starting therapy at 4 weeks instead of 6, that he has a much better chance of total recovery and healing. Also, his range of motion is already good. The strength in his left hand is measured at 50 pounds, the right hand is at 35. Not a lot of difference, considering the extent of surgery on the right shoulder 4 weeks ago. :-)
The insurance has approved 36 visits to the physical therapists before needing to be reviewed and re-evaluated. He said that Rick should be doing very well by that time.
Praise the Lord!
And I am scared.
More scared of the depression and discouragement than the physical aspects of it all. It's hard to fight against something you can't see or touch. KWIM?
Rick and I both are dealing with life changing issues. Things that just won't go away. Only God can intervene at this point, if He chooses to swoop down and rescue us from it all with a miracle healing. But until He does, we breathe in and we breathe out. And I am scared.
All the "what-if's" haunt me - especially in the dark hours of the night when Rick is asleep and the insomnia won't release me from it's clutches to have that blessed escape of sleep.
I find myself grieving for not getting the "fairy tale" with the "happily ever after" ending. Sigh. This is not fair! I scream inside of me! Not screaming at Rick, not screaming at me. But certainly screaming at the cancer, at the kidney disease, renal failure, all the things that aren't good and right about his body, my body.
Surely God has a plan for us thru all this. His Word says so - Jeremiah 29:11 ... we just don't see it all clearly right now. But then, His promises are not conditional on what we can see or what we cannot see, nor on what we think or feel, or don't. His promises are conditional only on what HE has said. And He is GOD.
God is God. God is good. All the time.