so much has happened since the last time i wrote
i think about you a thousand times a day sometimes writing to you makes you seem closer and sometimes farther away i worked for the Census 2020 as a field enumerator learned a lot of things about me in the process those long drives on the back country roads there were tears and there was laughter so often i felt you riding there with me the memories flooded my heart realizations made me pull to the side of the road i sit here now with tears rolling down my cheeks remembering i have a truck now joshua and shell worked it around with travis and i have a truck it's a ford - which made me smile even more because you were always a ford man ;) i also am living alone after all these years a small apartment came available in september and it was past time to take this step i know that now it's a good place, and i know you would have loved it here but it's so much like i figured it would be hours upon hours of just me no phone calls nowhere to go no one to see isolation alone-ness fumbling around the days and nights looking for something to do missing being around the kids and grandkids missing being around people just to hear another voice to get in someone's way to have someone in my way to share a meal together to consider what someone else wants to watch - - and have it not be what i want to watch even to have a disagreement, an argument to be hugged a forehead kiss every now and then i know that everyone needs this time away from me yet to know where i am that i am right here in Texas and i suppose in some ways i need this time alone, too oh i know i can do it and i am not afraid just lonely makes me miss you even more than i thought i could i got sick about 3 days after paying the first month's rent guessing it was the coronavirus that has had everyone so held in bondage since March i was very sick for about 7 days, sicker than i ever had been then the next 7 days i was better, but oh so exhausted i have slept more in the last 2 weeks than i have slept in my life! i'm better now - much better i still get tired, more quickly and easier than i like to admit but from all that i have heard and read, that's part of the "normal" after being sick i got up this morning and since it was a cooler and cloudy fall day i decided to make a pot of hamburger stew it's different cooking for just one i made enough that i will have it for several days now but it's good - like really good i've thought a lot about you today remembering the cooler weather days when we would make a pot of stew and watch movies laughing and talking a hug and a kiss with every chance we had how that you would snitch those bowls of stew "because it needs to be tasted" you would say oh what wonderful days those were i will miss you this evening when i sit down alone to eat a bowl of "our" stew and a slice of hot cornbread i will miss you while the movie plays and i will miss you when i go to bed tonight with a full tummy your arms around me the smell of stew in your beard oh Rick life is such a challenge without you here i miss you i love you always yours, Megan Lee McCoy
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September 5, 1980The day my life began as Mrs. Rick McCoy. No greater joy, no greater passion - Thank you Sweetheart for choosing me. I love you - always have and forever will!!!!! Categories
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