A thousand tears ...

I love you Rick. Always have. Forever will. You were the one that God used to be Him to me. You loved me, you cared for me. You held me. You wiped my tears away. You made me laugh. I love you.
I know that our life was not perfect ... but it was perfect enough for me. Thank you Sweetheart for all the years, all the memories.
Thank you for loving me. I love you back!!!!!

We made a lot of miles together in 34 years, 7 months and 17 days. It's hard not to wish for me. But like you always said - "Wish in one hand, poop in the other - which fills up faster?" Life goes on ... but it sure isn't easy without you. I miss you just so much! Every thing I touch - makes me think of you.
You were such a force in my life, honey.
You made it easy to love you, and to submit to you. You made me want to put you before myself.
But I don't know what to do now. Where do I go? What do I do?
I am not even sure who I am anymore.
There are moments I still feel like your wife ... and then the reality sucker punches me all over again - that I am your WIDOW.
I miss you.

 This is one of my favorite pictures of us. I love my hand on your chest, your arm around me. Smiles on our faces. I search for you - I listen for you. I ache for you. I want so much to reach up and see into your eyes. To raise my hand and feel your beard, how soft it is. To turn my head into you and smell that smell that was all you. To know your arms around me holding me fast and solid. To feel you kiss my forehead - with that pure love you had. O Sweetheart. I miss you. I love you. I just hope you know that you were worth every moment together - good and bad. You are worth every tear now! Wait for me ... your wife, your woman. I love you!!!!!