well, it's been 5 years now
5 years since i felt your touch 5 years since i looked into your eyes 5 years since i heard your voice say, "I love you" i miss you more than i have words to tell i know you would smile that smile of yours and tell me how silly i was being if i told you that i miss even our arguments but i do i miss everything about you i miss everything about us you were more than my husband you were my best friend you were my memory keeper you were the one who could make me mad as an old wet hen but you were also the one who could turn my giggle box upside down i miss the way you smelled the way your skin felt beneath my fingers the touch of your whiskers on my neck i miss the better half of me i certainly don't feel like much of a woman without you i've tried - but failed miserably i'm back in the arms of God now so that's a good thing when you died, i lost my way i tried to be strong but everything went wrong i'm sorry honey that i let you down that will be the regret of my life i know i thought i was doing the best for me, the best for the kids and grandkids, by going to kentucky for a while never meant to stay so long never meant to cross the lines never intended to be like that you were my anchor and you were gone guess i put too much on you now it's God's turn to carry me from here till eternity no matter what happens no matter where i go no matter it's all God or it's nothing now honestly? i'm glad you aren't here now in 2020 it's crazy here with the coronavirus pandemic oh you and i would be having a blast together in this quarantine state but it would also drive you crazy ;) i sure miss you though your grounding your sense of reason your words of wisdom just to hear your voice say "it's going to be ok, we are going to be ok - either way" i will forever love you and always miss you with every breath i take in every move i make i know i have a lot of love left in me and a lot of life yet to do not sure how to get from here to there or find out what it means and how to do it it's different without you the regret over the last 5 years is almost more than i can bear at times but God says He has forgiven me i can only hope that somewhere down this road of life i will find forgiveness for myself and trust that you still love me maybe i can yet make you proud of me you often said that you would go crazy without me that you couldn't handle life alone you told me i was strong honey, i hate to admit it but you were wrong i'm the one that lost it when you died i'm the one who cries herself to sleep night after night, 5 years later i work at moving forward but 1 step on seems only to lead to 15 back others are getting frustrated with me sometimes i think the story of the old Indians going off alone is the best way after all reading the Word listening to the music praying with all that is within me what else am i supposed to do rick, i sure do miss you especially today
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September 5, 1980The day my life began as Mrs. Rick McCoy. No greater joy, no greater passion - Thank you Sweetheart for choosing me. I love you - always have and forever will!!!!! Categories
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