January 4, 2019

I'm in a really dark place right now.
Sorry guys.
False alarm.
​I was putting my shirt on and got my head stuck in the arm hole.

This is being played out. Sigh. I keep reminding myself that I have done nothing wrong. I'm not perfect. But, this? Nope.

Even from a weary heart, I forgive. I know my heart and mind, my life. Drama isn't my desire.

Something to aspire to in 2019.

Trying to stay focused on the good, let go of the negative. Be thankful for the little things & listen to the kind and sweet words. Let the insults roll away. But sometimes, well, sometimes it is hard. My heart is still tender, even though I am working daily on hardening the guard about it. Sigh.

 Today, January 4, I miss being held. That simple act that means so much. Just being held, for a quiet moment. <3
And I will be thankful for silly laughter, especially the laughter over the "dad jokes", or puns.

I grew up with Lefty's songs. Momma sang them (even tho she couldn't carry a tune in a bucket <3), and she played them on her mouth harp. Momma took care of Lefty & David Frizzel when they were kids. Many stories I heard about Lefty from Momma as I was a kid growing up & listening to his music. Lefty wrote his first song for Momma. And he promised that he would buy her a set of pearls when his first song was played on the radio. Several years later, she received a package in the mail. When she opened it, there was a string of pearls in a black box. No note, but she knew where they came from. <3 Those pearls were my Momma's prized possession. She only wore them on special occasions. Years went by, and one day, a grandkid pulled on them just a bit too hard, and they broke. Momma shed a tear as she packaged them and put them in her drawer. I caught her on occasion looking at them, with a soft tear and a sweet smile. When Momma died, I got those pearls. I treasured them, broke as they were. A while back I told this story to a dear friend. He gave me the most special Christmas gift, for he had them fixed at the jewelry store & returned them to me today. I wear them with honor - for Lefty, for my Momma, and for my sweet friend. I do not have the words to express my appreciation for your kindness. Thank you Blaine.