Coffee Love
  • Coffee Love
  • My shoebox
    • Who, or what, am I?
    • Way of Wonder
    • Did You Know?
    • Stay the Course
    • Respect, Honor, Gratitude
    • We Remember
    • Favorite Links
    • Junk Drawer
  • Scattered Feathers
    • Faith Statement
    • Hope in Song
    • Memes to Remember
    • Coffee Love Images
    • Moments to Memories
    • Kids & grandkids
    • Those Gone Before Me
    • Roots & Wings
    • Love Notes
    • ^Angel^ Memories
  • Hungry?
    • Appetizers
    • Bread
    • Casseroles
    • Crockpot Love
    • Meats
    • Veggies
    • Desserts - oh my!
  • Adventures in Life
    • Treading On
    • Calendar
  • Hitch Your Wagon
  • Experience Pearls

3rd Valentine's Week

2/11/2018

0 Comments

 
Not sleeping the best lately. Too many thoughts and emotions to stave off to get much rest, even when sleep does overtake me. 
This is Valentine's week. 
My third one since Rick died. 

The first year I was numb and still in shock. I barely felt the loss of such a day. We had been struggling for several years and had not "celebrated" much of anything. So this first Valentine's Day came and it went. Unnoticed. Un-cared about. 

The second year I was new to Kentucky, helping in a new business venture. Immersed day and night in the new business, trying to get it up and going, doing all I could to help friends. 

This. 3rd Valentine's Day without my Sweetheart. 
I am feeling every thought, every emotion, every loss. 
Remembering days gone by ... cards shared ... notes written ... phone calls made.
Tasting the dinners we shared. 
Smelling him as he hugged me and kissed my forehead. 
Seeing our bed ... knowing his touches. 

Forcing myself to remember without tears. (Which just for the record only works fair during the day when others are around ... when bedtime comes, the house is quiet, and being alone surrounds me? I don't even try to fight the tears. Oh, and in the shower - had a meltdown this morning as a matter of fact.)
Making the breaths come normally, not raggedly. Just Breathe has been my mantra since he died, and the longer I live this journey, the stronger those words become. Just Breathe. These will be my first tattoo - Just Breathe. 
I wrote on my Facebook yesterday - "Motions. Not Emotions." That is so hard for me to live. I am an emotional being. I love. I laugh. I cry. I feel - damn I feel. So to turn the Emotions into just Motions? It is harder than I ever imagined it would be. Sadly, it is easier than trying to explain. 
I have seriously considered renting a motel room for the week. Simply hibernate away from everything and everyone. Thinking it might be better for everyone else. Still haven't firmly decided yet. :(  I miss loving someone ... yes, I miss being loved. But damn! I miss loving someone - and having that love accepted, even if not returned. Sigh. 

Life goes on. 
Even when I wish it didn't. 

I am struggling to focus on the many different aspects of Love.
I love my kids and grandkids. 
I love my family.
I love my friends. 
I love coffee ... 
... chocolate
... roses
... magnolias
... pie - oh my! I love pie! 
... sunrises & sunsets
... rainy days & clouds
... sweet tea
... Dr Pepper
... and the list goes on - 
Yes, Love is a multi-faceted emotion. 

We should not miss one opportunity to enjoy what we love ... nor to express an "I love you" to someone.
Life is too short. 

I love you Rick. I miss you like crazy. 
I love you my children - Mandy & Leo, Joshua & Dessie
I love you my grandchildren - Elijah, Brooklyn, Shell, & Kyla
I love you my family ... and my friends. 
I love you my best friend. 

This week shall pass ... I shall survive. 
Picture
0 Comments

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    So why "Scattered Feathers" ? ? ? 

    You can read it here

    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture

    Past Posts

    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    August 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    October 2017
    August 2017
    June 2017
    January 2017
    November 2016
    October 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012
    August 2011
    July 2011
    June 2011
    April 2011
    March 2011
    February 2011
    October 2010

    RSS Feed

    Picture
    Picture


Website designed & developed by Margaret McCoy

​
God is God over the storms in my life & world -
and I am His.
Trusting in Him. Holding to His Promises as He holds me.

​
Learning to laugh, to love, & to live ... again - without Rick, but with God

Life goes on ... even when we don't want it to.

Great grief is indicative of a great Love.

Rick, my Sweetheart.
Margaret, his Beloved.
Always & Forever.
​
Picture
©Margaret McCoy, Coffee Love Princess
  • Coffee Love
  • My shoebox
    • Who, or what, am I?
    • Way of Wonder
    • Did You Know?
    • Stay the Course
    • Respect, Honor, Gratitude
    • We Remember
    • Favorite Links
    • Junk Drawer
  • Scattered Feathers
    • Faith Statement
    • Hope in Song
    • Memes to Remember
    • Coffee Love Images
    • Moments to Memories
    • Kids & grandkids
    • Those Gone Before Me
    • Roots & Wings
    • Love Notes
    • ^Angel^ Memories
  • Hungry?
    • Appetizers
    • Bread
    • Casseroles
    • Crockpot Love
    • Meats
    • Veggies
    • Desserts - oh my!
  • Adventures in Life
    • Treading On
    • Calendar
  • Hitch Your Wagon
  • Experience Pearls