Coffee Love
  • Coffee Love
  • My Profile
    • Stay the Course
  • Scattered Feathers
    • When You Need the Music
    • Love Notes
  • My Recipe Book
    • Appetizers
    • Bread
    • Casseroles
    • Crockpot Love
    • Meats
    • Veggies
    • Desserts - oh my!
  • Junk Drawer
    • Worth Sharing
    • Helpful Hints
  • Contact Me

Burn out

7/16/2021

0 Comments

 
Sometimes life is more "eh and bleh" than anything. 
Busy with work, honestly busier than I want to be ...
Tired, no - exhausted - when I get off work, so I try to decompress and rest, especially that first day off. 
And the days swirl into nights, which are endured until morning. 
Not a lot of changes, or exciting adventures, to share these days. 
Seems not even a lot of "new thoughts" to expound upon, either.
I don't like it. 
Just saying. 
I. don't. like. it. 
Life is too short, too precious, and gone way too soon, to let these days and nights run together with little to nothing to write about. 
Lord, move in my life and change it ... or move me, change me. Please, Lord. Please. 

I've been doing some reading and researching into "caregiver burnout" ... and as much as I really do NOT want to write this, Yes, I think I have entered that all over again. 
Hopefully, this time, I have recognized the signs and symptoms early enough to catch it, stop it, change it ... before it completely takes me under again. 
It did that when I was Rick's sole caregiver. Sadly, even 6 years after he's gone, I still feel the effects of burnout ... and I think it has made it easier for this to start in on me all over again. Maybe I wasn't healed from that time with him, before I started this job in being a "professional caregiver". I don't know. 
I do know that I don't want to go down this path again. 
So, reading, researching, and praying A LOT - seeking a better way for me in all of this. 

There are 7 indications of Caregiver Burnout : 
1. Feelings of depression, anxiety, isolation. 
Resulting in a deep sense of not being appreciated. Often leading to a difficulty in exercising and/or eating - where one either does/eats too much ... or not enough. Upset stomach, with gut issues developing, or increasing. Headaches. Back pain. Mood swings. An overwhelming sensation, where the simple every day things become too much. 
Yes. I feel these words. Deeply. Strongly. Sadly. 

2. Increased irritability and agitation. 
Resulting in times of saying things you don't mean. Short temper, and long words. Lack of sleep, or too much sleep. Low blood sugar, brought on by poor nutrition. The belief that caregiving is controlling my life, rather than me controlling it. An anxiousness about the future, or a lack of concern/care. 
Yes. I have found myself just in the last week or so being short on temper, and feeling that sudden urge to lash out at whoever is the closest. 
Definite lack of sleep. When at work for the 48 - 84 hours straight, there is no comfortable place to lay down, and even if there was, it's a situation where in order to sleep, must keep one eye open, and one ear listening. 
And just in the last 2 weeks I have thought, felt, and wrote in my journal, about how caregiving is controlling my life - not what I ever wanted to do again. But ... here I am. 


3. Lack of energy. 
The physical, emotional and mental demands leaves your brain feeling overworked, under-paid, and basically - "fried". 
Resulting in an overwhelming fatigue. Where every movement seems to bring pain. Where even taking a deep breath seems to big of a chore to do. 
Yes. Oh my word! Could this be any more ME right now? I don't think so!!! 

4. Neglecting one's own needs.
Questions to ask: *Do I bathe regularly? *Do I drink enough water? *Do I eat nutritionally sound food? *How much junk food/fast food do I consume? *When was the last time I "unplugged" and just settled in the stillness and quietness of the moment? 
Hard questions but ones that must be asked. 
Too tired to take a shower and deal with my hair, too many times lately. Making me think about a very short hair cut. But keep talking myself out of it, because I have had short hair before and didn't like it.  
Taking some time today to unplug. To enjoy the stillness and quietness. 


5. Insomnia
Inability to fall asleep within 20 minutes of laying down. Inability to stay asleep for longer than 2 hours. Inability to fall back asleep after waking. 
Yes. No other words to say, just a resounding YES. 

6. Reliance on substances or stimulants to get you thru the day - whether working or off. 
Ask yourself WHY are you drinking? Or smoking? 
Yes ... if you count coffee!
But on this one - honestly?
I've counted on coffee for so long that I don't remember life before Coffee! 
I do not smoke.
I do drink an occasional glass of wine, on my days off. Had a small glass of banana rum over this last weekend, while visiting with my kids and grandkids. 


7. Losing interest in favorite activities. 
How much time are you spending with family or friends? Whether in real life, or on the phone, with messages. 
Hobbies that were once enjoyed have now been pushed aside. 
Do you feel cynical about life? About the caregiving? 
Are you resentful? 
Yes. This makes my heart cry out! Please God, help me out of this burnout. 
Been wondering if I am really ready to do this again. 
Yes, it has been 6 years since Rick died ... but have I healed enough to do this? 
Still praying for that answer. 


All of these things can lead to an overwhelming sense of hopelessness. 

And since in answering these honestly, I must answer "yes" - it's time to do something! I am important to me. 
God, please, show me what to do, and teach me all the how's. 
I don't want to be burned out. 
I want to take better care of me. 
Please, help me. 

I am going to take some time this day, this weekend, to read, to pray, to search out my heart ... and hopefully with God's help, find a way out of this before it gets more of a hold on me. 
​Prayers would be appreciated. 

Picture
0 Comments

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    So why "Scattered Feathers" ? ? ? 

    You can read it here

    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture

    Past Posts

    April 2023
    March 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    August 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    October 2017
    August 2017
    June 2017
    January 2017
    November 2016
    October 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012
    August 2011
    July 2011
    June 2011
    April 2011
    March 2011
    February 2011
    October 2010

    RSS Feed

    Picture
Website designed & developed by Margaret McCoy

​
God is God over the storms in my life & world -
and I am His.
Trusting in Him. Holding to His Promises as He holds me.

​
Learning to laugh, to love, & to live ... again - without Rick, but with God

Life goes on ... even when we don't want it to.

Great grief is indicative of a great Love.

Rick, my Sweetheart.
Margaret, his Beloved.
Always & Forever.
​
Picture
©Margaret McCoy, the Queen of Kamelot Coffee 
  • Coffee Love
  • My Profile
    • Stay the Course
  • Scattered Feathers
    • When You Need the Music
    • Love Notes
  • My Recipe Book
    • Appetizers
    • Bread
    • Casseroles
    • Crockpot Love
    • Meats
    • Veggies
    • Desserts - oh my!
  • Junk Drawer
    • Worth Sharing
    • Helpful Hints
  • Contact Me