I have not been able to sleep much at all this whole week ... Insomnia has been my night-time companion. Not that I have gotten much else accomplished, either - night or day.
Remember the movie, "UP"? Remember the dog ... "Squirrel!"? Well, that's me - especially now ... being so tired and weary, yet unable to go to sleep, or stay asleep. And in those short times that I do fall asleep, I dream dreams that cause me to wake up restless and stressed.
We watched the 'Bama game with Tennessee today ... 45 to 3 - ROLL TIDE ROLL!!!!! Part of the game we watched with Elijah, part with Brooklyn, part with Jimmy (Rick's dad), and part was just Rick and me ... but it was all watching the TIDE ROLL ON!!! It was GOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!
No matter how old my kids get, no matter how tired momma may be ... I worry ...
Because of the storms rolling thru and the heavy rains of the evening, Mandy didn't get to leave work when she normally would. So, it was going to be later when she got in. Ok.
But then, due to the wrecks on the highway, she was detoured. And found herself miles out of the way, and much longer from home. Tired and hungry. Frustrated and discouraged. We spent some time texting back and forth. I spent a lot of time praying for her. And finally, decent cell phone service, so that she could call me. I heard her voice and took a deep breath. We talked way into the morning while she drove in.
She just texted me (4 a.m.) and told me that she has finally made it home ... and is going to bed to sleep. I breathe now ... she is my baby girl, no matter how old she is, no matter where she is, no matter where i am. She is my baby girl - and i worry about her, because I love her so!!!
I "think" i am finally beginning to learn a lesson ... Trials work patience ... patience teaches us to trust in the Lord ...
God loves us enough to teach us - patiently. It's not fun. I don't like trials and tests.
Wish there was an easier way ... but alas, I am stubborn, and the Lord knows this. Once i get something, I GOT IT. But getting it ... Oh my. sigh.
God is faithful. We do trust Him. He is our Provider. We don't know how He is going to take care of us. But His promise is - that He WILL.
This has been a most difficult 2 years ... and with every month that goes by, it seems to get more and more difficult. Not less. The trials are stronger in intensity ... the tests are more detailed ...
The enemy wages a war - not for us, but to get our praise and worship away from God. When he can get our attentions on our own selves, locked in on our problems and distresses, then he has won a slight victory in that moment. He has turned our eyes from looking full into the wonderful face of Jesus. No longer do the things of this earth grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace. Sadly, His face grows strangely dim to our eyes in the glare of this world's appeal.
Lord, turn our eyes back on Jesus. Help us to look up! Psalm 121 ... Help us to believe! Help us to trust in YOU - especially when things do not make sense, and we have no understanding, none at all.
We love you, Lord. We are so tired and weary, as a warrior we are but a child. Lord, help us please. pleasel
So why "Scattered Feathers" ? ? ?
You can read it here