Just catching up . . . part 1

Whew! I am just a tad bit overwhelmed with trying to catch up - 
but I will try to make it read as easy as possible. In spite of my mind being a jumbled mess! LOL
​
I am no longer in the RV. 
When I purchased it, I knew that it needed work. 
I did not realize how extensive, or expensive, the work would be. 
I had a little money saved from the time of working as a caregiver.
Figured it would be just about enough to get the RV comfortable. 
I was wrong. 

It needed more work than what I could do alone. 
It needed more money than what I had saved. 
I had some help to get it where I could live in it. 
A few people gave from their hearts to help me with the costs.
 
However, 5 months later, I had to face the harsh reality that this RV was too much for me. 
I sat in the living room area, looking around, and cried. 
Sobbed great tears of grief, frustration, aggravation and absolute confusion as to what to do now. 
After spending the time, and the money - I was worn out, exhausted, and broke. 

I looked around at rental places. 
Houses. Apartments. 
No way for me to afford any of them. 
I spent hours upon hours searching for a job. 
Interviews. Applications. 
Fuel used even as the fuel costs were screaming louder and louder. 
I looked at live-in job situations. 
Made lists of all that I can do. 
Updated my resume.

Since I am 61 years old, and physically limited - I cannot get on my knees, nor can I climb ladders - as well as being financially limited on what I can make per month due to the widow benefit's . . . no one wanted to hire me. 
If they would work with me physically, then they wanted me to work more hours and make more money in a month than what I am allowed. 
For 6 months, day after day, week after week - frustration and discouragement. 
One brick wall after another. 

Finally, I told my kids that I was just going to stop. 
Stop looking for another place - be it house, rv, or apartment. 
Stop looking for a job. 
Just going to breathe thru the winter. 
Make the best of where I am. 
Make do with what I have. 
And go back to the basics of doing without as needed. 

Just about 2 weeks after this "stopping" - 
I was asked to help a friend clean a rental house. 
It was a small house, and empty. 
Wouldn't take more than just 1 day to clean the walls and the floors. 
I walked into this house, and literally - fell in love. 

Rick always said that he believed houses had souls. 
That they breathed. 
That they lived. 
That they felt joy, and sorrow. 
Perhaps he was right. 

When I walked into this house, there was a sadness. 
But as I started scrubbing the walls, cleaning up the floors, wiping down the cabinets
- there was a lifting of the heaviness that I felt when I walked in. 
The more I cleaned, the deeper in love I fell. 
As I was cleaning one bedroom, I said out loud - 
"I hope whoever gets you will take care of you, and give you the laughter and joy that you deserve!"

When the most of the work was done, and I was standing there with the owner just talking
- I was asked what I thought about the house. 
"It could be absolutely adorable!" 
"This house has a character about it!"
And then, I was asked if I thought I could live here. 
Before answering, I thought and weighed my words. 

"Yes. Absolutely. Except for the rental cost. I have been pricing rental houses smaller than this, and not in as good of shape as this one - I know what those are. From $800 - $1200 a month! There is just no way." 
The owner, took a deep breath. 
And offered it to me at an unbelievable amount. 
I called my son and asked him to come take a look, see what he thought about the house. 
I also wanted him to meet the owner, and just verify for me that I was hearing his offer correctly! 
I accepted his offer. 
Signed a year's lease, and am moved in. 

This little house has 2 bedrooms, 1 bath. 
It's about 750 sq ft, maybe. 
One large room that is the kitchen, living room, laundry room. 
Double pane windows on all windows.
An entryway to help with coming in out of the cold north wind of winter. 
Sitting on 1/2 acre of land. 
Fenced completely. 
Has a beautiful peach tree in the back yard.
There is a barn, and a 2 car carport. 
And it is only about 5 miles outside of town! 
Down a dead-end road, with only about 5 houses on the road. 

I am excited at this change. 
There is so much that I will miss about living in an RV. 
But to be honest? 
The greatest thing that I miss about living in an RV is the times that Rick and I were doing this together. 
He had his things outside that he handled, and I handled the things inside. 

I sit here and wonder if I will ever live in an RV again. 
And I don't know. 
If the RV was newer, in better shape - would that make a difference? 
Not sure at this point in my life. 

Perhaps I just need a bit more "roots" - to hold me in place during these violent Texas storms that roll thru so often. 

I have already had people wanting me to set up a gofund me account so that they can help me with what I need. 
But for now, I have PayPal. 
My address there is coffeemoments@outlook.com
I am not asking for help - but years ago, I learned not to say "no" to anyone who wanted to help either.
I don't want to block someone's blessings. 

Yes, Life . . . 
​. . . it's all about changes.