October 04th, 2013

Spent the majority of yesterday in town. Went to McDonald's - grabbed a drink and a snack, used their Wi-Fi. Paid some bills. Checked e-mails. Posted on Facebook and in my blog. On to the Dollar Store ... then to Wal-mart's. Finally got all the meds straightened out, with having to get them transferred to the Graham Wal-mart from the Sulphur Springs Wal-mart. 
--as a side question ... I wonder why the pharmacy does not clear out old prescriptions that no longer have a refill on them??? It would make getting a newer script filled so much easier. I told the tech at the pharmacy yesterday that even I know there is a "delete" button on each computer. Sigh. (I was not in the best of places, so little patience as of late ... sigh.)

Came back to Joshua and Dessie's - groceries unloaded ... visited with the kids and grandkids a little ... sat out on the front porch enjoying the cool evening breeze. 

Dessie fixed supper last night ... beans, bacon and tortillas with cheese and hot sauce. I wasn't hungry, so I didn't eat - it sure did look good and smell good, tho. But I know better with this irritated stomach and colon of mine - if I am not hungry, don't eat ... and certainly don't eat much at a time. 

Rick and I spent some time talking before bed. We are both struggling with dealing with all that is going on in our lives. 
When we have a "plan" of how our lives are going to be ... we never figure in the disappointments and discouragements. We don't make room for the sickness, or the times of want and need. So, when those times happen - we find ourselves really struggling and striving to find peace and calmness in the midst of the storm. 
I am coming to the realization that the time to find peace and calmness is BEFORE the storm. That way, when the storm comes - we can confidently say, ALL IS WELL. Sigh. 
Thinking that now is the time to just stop ... be still. Not necessarily to physically 'be still'. But to spiritually, emotionally and mentally 'be still'. Quit trying to figure things out. Quit worrying over it all, we are not dogs with a bone! Quit seeking the answers so much. Quit being so focused on all the negative things in our lives (or those things that appear so negative to our human eyes). Just to be still a while. Accept each day as it comes. Look for the laughter, the love, the life - looking for it as if looking for hidden treasures. 
Maybe we won't have everything that we want. Nor everything that we 'think' we need. Maybe we won't be able to pay all our bills, or even some of them. Maybe the vehicles will not have fuel, or an abundance of fuel. Maybe there won't be groceries in the house, or the groceries that we want. But God has promised to meet all our needs according to His riches in glory thru Christ Jesus. So, perhaps it is time to lay down all these things - and just let God do what He deems best for us. No matter what - God is still God. And God is still good. 

My legs, ankles and feet are swollen very badly. I didn't have one of my diuretics for about a week. (Got them filled again yesterday.) And yes, it is so hard to keep them wrapped - especially in this Texas heat! It's also hard to keep my feet up at all, let alone to keep them higher than my heart. I know that both are important - and I promise to do better. God, help me. 
I don't feel very strong in myself to take care of me when I have no one that really supports and encourages me. But at the same time, I know that if I don't take care of me, there is no one else that will. And if I get down ... sigh. 

Rick is doing good, so far. He says that he feels better. He is breathing better, not laboring for each breath the way he was when he had the fluid overload and the low blood count. 
He still has the nerve pain in his hands and feet. And that pain makes it hard to walk, but walking is what the Dr has ordered for him. 

Well, guess it is time to get up from here and get this day started. Dessie fed Monster before she left for work. The little bull calf that Joshua brought home from the sale barn about 3 weeks ago. She also put Lacey - her Blue Heeler pup - outside for a while this morning. Chickens have been turned out to the yard. Laundry is started. Dishwasher waits to be emptied and re-filled. With 6 people, 4 dogs, 4 horses, a bull calf, chickens ... plenty of chores to go round!!! 

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