After much thought, many prayers, and a bucket load of tears - I got up this morning, and got dressed.
Some will not understand. Sadly, others will.
Praying for those who do not understand - that you never will.
Praying for those who do understand - I am sorry. ((((()))))
Losing my heart, the one who was the light in my smile .... I am struggling to find me, and to find the direction and purpose in me just getting up each morning.
God is my reason for living ... He is my Breath, my Hope, my Peace. He is my Strength and my Courage.
I am so thankful that God does more than just know me as I am. He understands. He loves me. Just as I am.
He knows the struggles I am having. He accepts me just as I am.
His Grace is greater than all my sorrows ... His Grace is greater than all my struggles. His Amazing Grace ...
I am at Joshua and Dessie's, now. And God has blessed us with having the Internet laid into the house this week! Hughes Net worked on Tuesday to get it up and going. Thank you God. I know that many people still do not like the Internet, and many more have different opinions about it. But for me, especially now in this season of life - I have come to lean on it.
I have joined several support groups for widows, and I miss them when I can't "be there" at least once a day! They understand all the swings of my emotions.
After many prayers, much discussion, and batting it all back and forth - Joshua and Dessie made the decision to pull Shell and Kyla out of public school and have home school. It was a decision that was sealed when Kyla came home in tears after being bullied by not only other kids on the bus and at school, but bullied also by teachers. It is something that they have struggled with for several years now, but this year - enough was enough was enough!
I have told them that I would do all I could to help. We have read and prayed and wrestled with this for so long, and even more this week.
We will be using an ecletic style of homeschooling - which means that we will use more than just textbooks and a computer. Shell and Kyla have been talked to, and will be talked with over and over again - that life is a school, there is learning to be done in everything. And if you cannot learn something in what you are doing, take a closer look - and either figure out what you can learn, or do something else!
We have started a website to share with anyone about our journey and adventures in home school ... Miss Crazy's Life School ... the grandkids picked the name. I have NO idea where they got this! LOL
I will be continuing to work on this website, and to write. Writing seems to work as my therapy, but then, it always has. Rick wanted me to write a book - said he wanted to retire on the sales of the book and just ride his Harley. ~I miss him so much!!!!!
I will also be working on quilts, and scrapbooks. I found a gallon Ziploc bag over 1/2 full of undeveloped rolls of film. In the process of getting them developed. I should be picking up the first 3 rolls this weekend. Interested to see them - it has been so many years since I had a camera that used that kind of film.
Thinking about beginning the Sourdough Bread again. First I have to make the starter. It has been a long time since I made bread. But it was something that we enjoyed a lot. I used to help Momma make it, and then I made it for years. These last few years it just didn't work for me to even try. But now? I have the time, and the room. Probably don't need the bread - but thinking it might be a good outlet for some of the stress - I can beat IT! LOL
So why "Scattered Feathers" ? ? ?
You can read it here