Wow. I don't know what else to say. Wow.
When I first started blogging it was all about sharing where we were, living in Oregon & Idaho, and then being on the truck. The places we were going to with a bit of history. It was a way to share with family and friends without having to send individual emails.
I considered not doing it at one point, but many asked me to continue - for they found it not only informative, but interesting as well.
Rick believed in my writings so much that he bought me this website. www.kamelotrose.com
As time went by, and health changes became more a part of our life, blogging became a "perfect" way to let everyone know what was going on with Rick, and with me. I was hesitant to share the dirty details of it all, was even told that I was sharing too much, or that I was too honest. I struggled greatly with what to share, and how to share it.
One morning over coffee, Rick and I were discussing all of this. I made the comment that perhaps it was better to either stop writing, or perhaps just to share the good times and things about the journey we were on.
Rick sat there quietly for several minutes. Then he said, (and yes, I remember his words clearly, just as if it had been this morning) - - "Honey, I want you to share it all. The good, the bad, the indifferent. I know you are more of a private person than I am. But, I want you to be brutally honest in your writings. If we can help ONE person, either take better care of themselves, catch something early & make the right choices, or even just to encourage others that they are not alone - - then all this hellish nightmare that we call life now will not have been endured, lived and survived in vain. Please, never stop writing, never stop sharing the brutal honesty of truth about this life."
After he died, I wrestled with whether to keep the website or let it go. I contacted my host, Weebly. Talked things over with Jason, one of the owners/developers. He said, "Margaret, you have a story to tell. I have read your blog, I have perused your website. Please, I agree with Rick, do not stop. I know that you are having a hard time with life right now, so I want to give you 2 years of hosting." Wow.
I have continued to write. Much to the dismay of some. Still being told that I am sharing too much, that I should focus more on the good things of life, not the difficult parts of living in grief. Every time someone says that to me, I hear Rick's words all over again.
So, I write. I tweak the website. I laugh and I cry as I write.
Then, this morning. I open my email and I see this:
Could you help with a quick update?
I'm tasked with promoting the National Council for Aging Care's Guide to Dialysis and Kidney Disease
Would you help raise awareness about this very serious topic by adding us a resource on your site?
National Council for Aging Care
1530 Wilson Blvd.
Arlington, VA 22209
The post that she refers to is a post from 2012! Wow.
This is a "Rick thing" all over again. :)
Yes! I will share, with honor, with respect and with gratitude.
If we had known how easily kidney disease is detected & treated in the early stages, if we had known that kidney disease is not reserved for the aged, if we had known ... perhaps Rick's life would have been longer, perhaps his last years would have been better.
So why "Scattered Feathers" ? ? ?
You can read it here