This should be the last post of 2014 ... just trying to catch up ... thank you for bearing with me.
Friday following Christmas Day --
I was up early, around 4:30 a.m. Just couldn't sleep. Too much pain. Too many thoughts. So, I spent time writing in my journal and praying. And then, some time on Facebook. :)
Rick got up later in the morning, and after our usual morning routine - meds and breakfast - we checked the bathrooms here in the park, hauled off the trash, and cleaned cabin 10.
The slide gate handle on our RV's grey water broke this morning when I tried to open it. So, when we finished up at the park, we went to town to try and find one. We found two - these were metal, where the ones on the RV were plastic. Rick decided that we should just go ahead and replace both the grey water and black water.
Back to the house ... and tried to fix the slide gates.
Well, Rick cannot do this stuff anymore - with the dialysis issues, and with his shoulder and hands not working right ... he can tell, but he cannot do.
And he has never been a very patient teacher! So, with him trying to tell me what to do ... was not going very well at all. You would think that after 34 years of living and working together we could do this ... well, that's what I thought, too! But sadly - NO.
After Kent came over and rescued us from either divorce or jail ... I wrote this on Facebook --
Ever have "one of those days"-you get up early enough to have your quiet time with the Lord before the day begins, feels great! You feel confident enough to storm the gates of hell with a water pistol!
And then ... the day actually begins. And it doesn't take so long for you to realize that although the Grace of God is greater than all our sin ... that confidence is shattered into a million pieces. You actually find yourself crying out to Jesus - this warrior is a child!!!
I'm not strong enough! I'm not ready for this!!!
What should be "small stuff" that we don't sweat - oh, it becomes great big things that are bigger and more important than life itself! (or so it seems at the moment!)
You try so hard just to cry out to Jesus, not throw a temper tantrum and then have to be ashamed ... You try to smile and bear all things ... You try to find the little things to be thankful for ... You try.
And then ... you realize that your "try" is gone, empty, no where to be found kind of gone. Almost like it never was there. Sigh.
--For anyone who wonders (Bettie, lol) I'm ok ... just been a stressful day - trying. Sigh.
Could really use a hug ... Jesus, hold me!!!!!
--Thank you Kent for rescuing me from disaster with my husband over a simple slide gate handle on our 5th wheel. You are the BESTEST!!!!! Love you!!!!!
Well ... think I am going to try and chill a while ... either going to pray - or look for Rum! LOL (Perhaps both! LOL) Yep - one of those - "Why is the rum gone? days" --Angel, Joshua, Dessie ... Love y'all!!!!!
And what did I do after writing that? I ate a Mexican praline. Oh so good. Oh so rich and decadent - almost felt wrong for enjoying it! And I drank a Pepsi (no Rum) - probably didn't need it either, but it was so refreshing, so good!
I also spent a little time praying, asking the Lord to help me - just to hold me. Thanking Him for His grace, His love, His mercy.
And then ... I took a NAP! :)
Saturday, Sunday, Monday and Tuesday -- worked here at the park, cleaning bathrooms. Just days ... trying to get some things done around the RV - but not having much success.
These are hard days for Rick and me. Rick is battling a lot of pain, and discouragement. There are words between us - not nice and kind words always. But not hard and hateful words always either.
Basically, I am breathing in and breathing out ... just trying to get thru these last days of 2014. Sigh.
Don Rash came over on Tuesday. Visited for a while. Oh how good to see him, to get a hug! I have missed him so much. A man of God in my life. I have missed his smile, his teasing. I have missed the security and solidness of his faith.
He handed Rick an envelope. Said that it was a gift from the Men's Sunday School class at Patillo Baptist Church. He wanted us to know that we have been on their prayer list, and this was just a love offering to us. --I opened the envelope. $500!!!!! O God.
God amazes us. He takes care of us. He is our Father. Thank you God.
Praying that God will bless each one who gave - a hundred fold and more!!!!!
So why "Scattered Feathers" ? ? ?
You can read it here