This is a long one ...

A couple of updates first -- 
*Dr James said that the "spot" on Brooke's leg was a wart. He froze it, saying that in 3-4 days it would come off. I told Brooke - "See, Grannee has been telling you that you were a wart!" LOL She looked at me and said, "GRANNEE!!!" Dr James laughed, and Brooke calmed down at the thought of having her leg frozen! LOL 
*Elijah has an upper respiratory infection. Was given antibiotics. 
*Shell is feeling better. He was able to go to school on Friday. 
*Kyla ... well, she is just Kyla! Goodness! Her daddy and momma have their hands full with her! LOL 

I have been walking on the treadmill and using the elliptical. I did 15 minutes yesterday on the treadmill @ 1.3 miles per hour. So many others can do more minutes and at a faster speed ... but in the words of my daughter - "Momma, anytime you walk on it, no matter what speed, or for how long, you are lapping everyone on the couch!" Those 15 minutes were not so hard to do ... i was still able to talk and breathe. LOL And I did 1 1/2 minutes on the elliptical - OMW!!! I know some will laugh at me at doing only 1 1/2 minutes, But then again - better than none. At least now, i am able to breathe after those 90 seconds!!! When i first started a week ago, i couldn't breathe at all! :-) ... 

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This is Christmas week ... and i find myself in a melancholy mood ... yes, i have hope ... but i also have the "oofies" ... 

This is not the way i wanted Christmas to be this year. I wanted a big tree, with lots of presents under it. I wanted my kids and grandkids filling the house and the hours. Hugs and laughter and love. Food to cook and to eat. 
Instead, we have the smallest of trees. No presents at all under it. For no money in the wallet to spend. Kids and grandkids are not going to be here. There is little to no food to cook, again, no money to buy. 
But, that's all ok ... Rick and I will get thru this week of Christmas, together. Trusting the Lord no matter what is in the checkbook or refrigerator. "Though the fig tree does not bud and there are grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer and he enables me to go on the heights." Habakkuk 3:17-19

Not to say that we won't be oofie and sad, not to say that we will be all cheery and merry ... but we will rejoice in the Lord and in all His benefits to us. We know that the God of angel armies is always by our side, leading us, protecting us, and providing for us. We don't always understand His ways, but we do trust Him - or at least, we are learning to. 

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The sadness is also because i am missing some people awful!!! Those who have gone on to the Lord. I am not sad for them - they are with the Lord, but sad for me, for us. We just miss them so much right now!!! 

Momma - i miss you. i long to hear your voice again. a thousand times in these years since you left i have picked up the phone, looked at your number, hovered over the call button ... and cried. I love you Momma. i want to see you, touch you. i want to smell you - a mixture of lysol and WD-40 ... and anyone who knows you, understands that smell! i don't want to fix your pecan pie, or buttermilk pie. i want YOU to fix them. i want to eat at your table. sit there and drink coffee with you. laugh at the way you say certain words. kiss you on the forehead. feel your arms around me. Oh Momma - i miss you. 

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Granny McCoy - i miss you, too. You loved me and accepted me as your very own. so many times you introduced me as your granddaughter, which confused those who didn't know me. LOL i miss your love and attentions. i miss your hugs. i think about your smell - a mixture of ben-gay and mentholatum. i want you to fix a chocolate pie - we have yet to find one that really comes close! how did you make your yeast rolls taste the way they did? no recipe does it right. Granny, I love you - i hope you know how much. You made a girl who had had no grandparents have a Granny - and i love you! 

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Ric Childs -- O Bubba!!! How much i miss you. I want to hear your voice as you say, "Hey there baby girl!" To feel your arms around me, hugging the very breath out of me! You always made me feel special and important. Treasured to your heart. I love you for that. You accepted me as your sister. I think about you so much. I miss you more. 

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Dennis Friestad -- i know that you came into our life as a rep for one of the companies that Rick sold supplies for. But you quickly became our friend, and brother. i love you. i miss you. I remember when you were going to show me how you could squeeze an egg without it breaking ... and it broke - all over you, me and the floor! LOL OMW!!! The look on your face was absolutely priceless!!! I love you brother and friend. I miss you!!! Wish the phone would ring and when i picked it up you would be there saying, "Hey lady! it's me, Dennis!" Like i wouldn't know your voice!!! i love you!

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Marjorie Mayfield ... Lady, do you know how much i loved you? how much i miss you? how many tears i have cried these months without you? You made me feel so welcome and such a part of Double N Cowboy Church - from the first time we were there. You made me laugh with our passion for flip-flops, regardless of what others had to say! LOL And the day you came over to the house bearing gifts from the heart, the first one being a dozen of eggs - a direct answer to prayer. :-) ... that morning we sat there and talked and shared ... i treasure that morning as one of the best of my life. I love you Lady! and i miss you so much!!! 

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Debbie Eppars ... Oh my friend, my sister. I love you. I miss you. I find myself looking for you still on Facebook every day. i want to hear what you are doing, what you are cooking for supper. i want to share ideas and recipes. i want to laugh with you, and cry with you. to know that you are praying for us. Oh and your hugs were so good, from the heart. I love you so much!!! I miss you more!!! 

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And there are so many more ... those who have gone years ago -- Aunt Ola, Aunt Ollie, Uncle Ray, Uncle Toyce, Uncle Art, Uncle Rex, Aunt Lois, Granny Gayle, Grandpa McCoy, Granny Walker, and the list goes on .... 
Yes, i am more than a little oofie and weepy this week ... loving these, missing them. Memories flood the mind and heart. Seems there is something - a word, a song, a movie, a food, a drink, a smell ... something that makes me think of someone and miss them even more than on every other day of the year. 

Precious Memories ... Gone but NEVER forgotten!!! 

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