I used to have at least one major migraine each month, with another 2 or 3 thrown in for good measure.
Since my cancer surgery, I haven't had near as many headaches, let alone the migraines.
Until February 2020.
The last week of February and the first week of March - O.M.W.
This migraine has been making up for lost time!
It started around the 27th of February, a growing pain in the temples and above my eyes. One that slowly spread over the top of my head and encircled my head like a vice grip.
By Friday the 28th, it was a full blown migraine. For over 24 hrs it was registering about a 15 on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being the worst! Difficult to even open my eyes. Smells, even normally good ones, set my stomach to rolling. Finally, Sunday, March 1, brought with it a bit quieter pain level. After 2 nights of being more up and awake due to the pain, I took a nap - oh how good that felt!
Today is March 4, and still the headache lingers. Yesterday it was registering between 5-8, more at the 8 than not. Thankfully today it has been between 3-5.
I took this picture on my Momma's birthday & Texas Independence Day - March 2. This was after 60 hours of the migraine ... Not the best pic ever, but not the worst one either. I had felt a little better for about 3 hrs, so I walked a little on the treadmill - that was nice. It was a wonderful weather day!
For me, this has been a long and difficult winter.
I came home to Texas the weekend before Thanksgiving 2019. Just about 3 1/2 months ago.
So much has changed about ME since that long drive from Paris KY to Sulphur Springs TX.
A river of tears has been cried, and dried.
A million thoughts.
A thousand or more prayers.
Time with the kids and grandkids, for the most part good times.
Deep breathing discussions.
And I wait for that Texas spring time, when the cold wind does not blow, & when the sun shines bright.
The trees will bud forth new growth.
The flowers will bloom in all their glory.
The grass will turn green and begin to wave in the late afternoon breezes.
There is a smell on these spring days here in Texas that is like no where else that I have been.
I haven't been everywhere, yet, lol - but I've been plenty.
No other smell like a Texas spring time day.
I have been walking when I can, mostly.
I have missed some opportunities, but trying not to miss too many.
February was not a kind month to me physically.
The wind blew cold more than not.
An earache kept me out of the wind, and when I did venture out in the wind, I was quickly reminded as to why I should not!
Tummy troubles, and much arthritis pain.
I am firmly believing that losing the 100 pounds WILL indeed help with the arthritis pain, and I realize that beginning the moving around is NOT going to feel the best.
I also know that I must take it slow and easy to begin with - especially with the knee injury I am still healing from.
Even if I do get frustrated and discouraged.
Little by little ... that's the only way!
I was complaining a little to my daughter about how slow I am.
Her response was perfectly spot on!
"Momma, every step you take, every move you make - it's better than sitting on your butt!"
And she said, "Momma the ONLY competition should be with yourself, doing better today than you did yesterday."
Thank you sweet baby girl for understanding where I am, without my words.
In this waiting time, I am struggling to make sure it is not wasted time.
Yes, I am resting more than I have in ages.
Even taking naps - sometimes twice a day!
Not being lazy, but recovering.
I realize that I have been thru a LOT these last few years.
And it has taken much out of me.
It's time to put some back.
I'm also trimming my eating down, way down.
Learning to listen well to my body.
Not to eat just because someone else is, nor because the clock says it is meal time.
Working on exchanges and substitutions, too.
I will be sharing more and more of that in the coming days.
This time is about ME.
Different comfort zone than I've ever been in.
God is good though, He has His hand on the small of my back, gently leading me - softly encouraging me.
I will be so stinking thankful to have spring arrive here in Texas!!!
The treadmill sits on the back porch, as does the gazelle.
With the rains, the cold temps, and the wind?
Sadly, I have not used either one very much in the last 6 weeks.
Any day that the weather has broken and the temp is above my age, with little to no wind? I have been out there!
I tried it a couple of times when the temp was lower, or when the wind was just "lightly" blowing ... both times it set my ear screaming!
I have always had trouble with my ears, and it seems the older I get the easier it is to get an ear infection, and the harder it is to get over it. Sigh.
I have been trying to eat less, and eat better when I do eat.
Less sweet stuff ... more veggies ... a LOT less breads.
Limiting myself to one glass of tea a day, if that. I think I have had a couple of days where I drank 2.
Drinking my Cran-grape juice in the morning, my coffee, and sometimes a glass of Tang or 2 thru the day - simply trying to up my Vitamin C intake.
I've walked in place here in the bedroom a couple of times, not as easy as it sounds, but better than nothing.
And using my blue band for stretching and trying to build up the muscles in & around my knee.
I am going to press myself to do better at this in the coming few days.
I don't think I have lost any weight at all, but according to the scales I have, I haven't gained any either. I suppose holding steady is better than gaining. But still a little discouraging and disheartening.
I can't go to the gym, even though gym membership is covered, because my Captain Jack has been sitting for 2 weeks now due to a problem with it. Sigh.
I am SO thankful that in 2 weeks the time changes.
In just about a month is the first day of Spring.
And I believe in 7 weeks is Easter.
Warmer weather is close enough to feel it in my bones!!!
Things will be changing!!!
A week ago I started using the treadmill. The first day I walked 1/2 mile at 0% incline & 2 mph. My knee (with the torn/sprained ACL & MCL) felt like it was nothing but jelly. The next day I made it a mile - 1/2 of it at 2 mph and 1/2 at 2.5 mph. It took me about 30 minutes to walk that mile.
Then I spent 3 days cooking for New Year's Eve and didn't walk on the treadmill.
Today, I walked a mile again. 1/2 mile at 2.5 mph & 1/2 mile at 2.8 mph, all at .5% incline - and did it in 23.32 minutes!!!
Woo-hoo for me!
Not where I was. Not where I want to be.
But better than I have been these last 3 months.
And it is encouraging to shave time off that mile.
I'm forcing myself to drink water. I have a low tolerance for it. But I know I need it.
It's hard not to think about food at certain times of the day - breakfast, lunch and supper especially. But I am trying to break that thought pattern. I know I need to eat, but I want to make the wiser choices, and eat better - as well as eating less.
I'm going to make an appointment with my new doctor. I need a complete check up. Praying for excellent reports, and a complete "ok" to exercise and lose weight.
I think it will be both a discouragement & a help for me to be weighed at the doctor's office. Document it. I think about what it will feel like to go back in a month and be re-weighed, see less numbers - - I HOPE!
I will work at it seriously for 3 months. If I don't see some pretty good numbers, then I will ask about help. But I really want to do this by myself - FOR MYSELF.
Today, I have eaten a 2x2 piece of Alabama Sweet Pecan Bread, with a pat of butter.
Drank 2 cups of coffee with my powdered French Vanilla creamer.
And working on this glass of water.
It's 2:22 p.m.
When Rick died, I started (without choosing to) the widow's diet. Within the first 18 months - 2 years, I had lost about 150 pounds. Over the last 2 years I have gained about 50 of that back.
It is time for those 50 to come off ... and more!
My goal is to weigh no more than 220. I think at that I will not only look much better than I do now, but I will feel better as well. And everything I have read or heard says that it is better to have a few pounds over in case of being sick or hurt.
I weighed 175 in 1980 when Rick and I got married. I would not mind being at that weight ... but trying to keep it real for now. So, if I could get the scales to show 220 - I would be ecstatic! Yes, I would probably keep pushing myself to reach that second goal of 175, but that would be "easy". Lol.
Not sure of what I weigh at this moment. The last time I weighed was a couple of months ago (perhaps longer), and not sure the scales were correctly calibrated either (they had been moved multiple times, and the batteries removed). But right or wrong, they said 316. UGH if correct. Makes my heart very sad to write that number. I write it with an attitude of accountability.
Since that time I have been on a change.
Changing the ways I eat, what I drink, and my exercise level. Little by Little.
Having recently (since Thanksgiving 2019) moved back to Texas, my whole life is different now. And it is more my own.
How am I going to do this?
1. Allowing myself to drink a glass of sweet tea ONLY with meals, and ONLY 1 glass per meal.
2. Drinking water between meals.
3. Using 1 teaspoon of baking soda in a glass of water once a day. Helps keep the pH balance of my body correct, and maintains the acid level in my blood.
4. Less and less fried foods - until it is a rare occasion that I eat anything fried. I have learned the hard way that to deprive myself of something only means that I crave it. So I will use the decreasing method.
5. Less and less sweet foods. I love sweets - especially pies. I enjoy a good cookie, or a tasty piece of cake. But my oh my! How I love pie! So I will limit myself on sweets, growing stricter as time goes by.
6. Less carbs. I have German & Irish heritage, and I'm a good Southern girl. So this will be the greatest challenge. To cut back on breads, tortillas, chips, and all such products.
7. Allowing myself one coke - which in Texas means Dr Pepper, lol - no more than every 3rd day.
8. More and more lean protein.
9. Eating veggies and fruits closer to the way they are grown, than cooked or having items added to them.
10. Exercise!!! Walk ... walk ... WALK! At some point I will add the bands, then perhaps a few lighter weights. But to begin with? WALKING!!!
And finally? I am going to blog about this here. I will refer to this section often in my regular blog. But I wanted this "Little by Little" to be separate and easier for me (and perhaps others) to refer to.
I will brutally honest with myself here. Completely out of my comfort zone. But here I am - the realness of the struggle.
Little by Little.
Then after Rick died ... and the widow diet began ...
I know I can do this.
I know I got this.
Now to just push myself - for ME.
Momma, you're not fat. You're fluffy!
These were the words of my precious little girl one day many years ago. The innocence of a child. The words both stung my eyes, and warmed my heart.