Update to today - April 13, 2022

How time gets away from me amazes me, but not always in a good way.

Life has a way of changing from one moment to the next.
As one has said, “just when we started to think we had a somewhat “perfect” life – not all things were perfect, but they were good for us – the bottom crashes out under out feet and we are brought to our knees barely holding on!”

The job: I worked for Holiday Inn in the housekeeping department for 2 weeks.
With only about 25 hours a week.
The hours were good.
The work should have been easy enough.
I have cleaned my whole life!
However, the pace of cleaning the rooms, making beds, scrubbing bathrooms … my knees just could not keep up.
Every day when I got home, I literally changed my clothes, and crashed into the recliner – with a heating pad across my knees, regardless of how hot the weather was!
And I sat there, all night.
As late into the morning as I dared before moving.
Getting up to knees that were screaming with the over-using of them.
Tendons and ligaments that reminded me of not so long ago when the ACL and MCL were torn, and the Baker’s Cyst at the back of one knee blew out causing all kinds of damage within.
Sigh.
Rick told me for years that one must know what their limitations are.
And as hard as it was for me to admit this was beyond the scope of my limitations, I had no choice.
As I told one grandson, “I know I can’t get out here and dig a  6-mile ditch in a day, so I don’t even try.”
His response? “Grannee, I don’t think I could do that!” LOL
So, I no longer work for Holiday Inn.

Back to searching for a job that my body will be able to do.
A job that will work with me in my limitations – not only physically, but financially as well due to being on widow benefits.

The RV: still working on it.
Some things have come to a standstill due to the job … and due to my son being in the hospital.

Last Thursday, my son had a doctor’s appointment.
He said he walked into the office, doctor took one look at him, did not touch him, sent him straight to ER.
After several hours of testing, it was determined that he had a tear in his colon area.
Into the hospital on IV antibiotics.
More tests and blood work for a couple of days.
Then, he was discharged to home with oral antibiotics and placed on a residual diet – that was on Saturday afternoon.
By Monday morning he was in so much pain that the doctor was called, another trip to the ER … and readmitted into the hospital, for more colon rest (meaning ice chips ONLY) and more IV antibiotics. Doctor said that this latest CT scan showed no more damage than last week, and that his numbers are all headed in the right direction.
However, the inflammation and infection had flared back up.
Doctor wants him on complete colon rest for several days while he is getting these antibiotics in the IV.
My son said that ice chips are not easy to imagine being real food – just saying! LOL
Doctor has told him that it appears the hole was in the colon itself, but the fluids were held in the intestinal wall, did not leak into the peritoneal cavity. Thank the Lord!
He wants complete colon rest in order that the healing will take better.
His concern at this time is either an abscess, or a tumor – neither of which is showing on the x-rays or CT scan.
But still … a concern.
This may be diverticulitis.
That is what it is being called at this time.
Only a scope will give a definitive answer. 
Therefore, a scope is being discussed once this heals to a proper level.
Changes to diet and exercise are being heavily discussed, cussed, and discussed many times over!

Tomorrow, April 14, is my son’s birthday.
He will spend it in the hospital.
It is also the 1 year anniversary of their adopted son’s death.
My heart feels squeezed down to barely beating at this point.
Hurting for my son and his family as they deal with the memories – memories of that phone call no parent ever wants to receive.
Memories of hours and days that seemed to move forward without their permission, but at the same time, seemed to stand still for an eternity.
My heart is hurting for all my son is going thru with his body, too.
I told him yesterday that if I had the power, I would take it from him.
Allowing him to return to his “normal”.
I am older, already with stomach pains and ills … as well as not working right now.
If anyone has this kind of time to go thru this – it would be me.
As hard as it would be to be away from my children and grandchildren … at least it would be me laying there – not him.
Sigh.
Many tears, intense prayers, and little real rest.

Psalm 56:3 says, “When I am afraid, I will trust in the Lord”.
There are days, like today, when I am so thankful for that one word – WHEN.
That word is a permission from our Father in Heaven – One Who understands us completely.
It is a word that asks us to be nothing but who we are, just as we are.
God gets it.
I am afraid.
Very afraid.
Of so much these days.
Trusting in Him, and asking with every breath I take that God Himself will help me trust Him.
Some days, it’s all I can do – be afraid … and trust in the Lord. ​