We went to the lab at the hospital yesterday morning. Rick had fasted about 13 hours by the time they drew blood.
We asked how long a total blood count would take to know the results. She said they weren't real busy, so she would put a "rush" on it if we wanted to wait a few minutes. Just a few minutes later, the lab guy came out ... Now, in January, Rick's total blood count was at 6.8 ... which meant that he had to go into the hospital and receive 3 units of blood. In February, his total blood count was at 8.3 ... which was just barely above the "legal limit", meaning no hospital stay - but almost. Yesterday? 10.8!!!!! Praise God!!! Thank you Jesus!!! Even the lab techs said it was good!!! Especially considering what it was in January and February!!! Now ... we just wait to hear what Dr. Tobin and Dr. Arneke have to say. And we pray that the other numbers are all just as good and encouraging as this total blood count has been!!! :-)
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![]() We went over to Jason and Samantha's yesterday afternoon for a pre-deployment get together. Jason is like my own. I love him so much!!! I have watched him grow up all these years. So proud of the husband, the dad, the man he has become. And as one of our soldiers - I salute him. Praying for his safety in these days, weeks, months and time to come. Praying that God be with him and use him, but bring him home safely to his Samantha and to their son, and to us his family and friends. I LOVE YOU JASON!!! It was good to sit and visit with family ... enjoyed the time talking with old friends. It was hot - but then, it is Texas ... and July! LOL!!! Oh, I made the Twinkie Cake yesterday... and it was good!!! I used peaches, pineapple, strawberries, kiwi, and marachino cherries. Still plenty for today and tomorrow and ... LOL!!! We watched "Amazing Grace" again yesterday ... I say it everytime we watch it - but if anyone thinks that one person cannot change our world (for good or bad) they need to see this movie!!! Passion in a person can change everything!!! Amazing Grace - the website. Finally!!! Rick goes in the morning to the hospital lab for blood to be drawn.
Monday - he meets with Dr. Tobin (kidney specialist). Tuesday - with Dr. Arneke (internist). Dr. Cochran (hematologist) will get lab results on the iron levels/stores - said he would call with "next step" directions. So ... I will be updating this in the next few days with all the results ... We are praying for good numbers and good reports!!! Pray with us - PLEASE. ![]() I have enjoyed my first cup of "life" this morning. LOL ... Looking forward to another in just a few minutes ... I usually only have one cup when we are on the truck/road ... not enough time to deal with more than one cup a morning. Sigh. So, I ENJOY my coffee when we are at the house! LOL Rick took the truck to the shop yesterday ... turned in his paperwork ... and now we wait ... He had already scheduled time off for the lab work and doctors. But we wait to see what service says about the truck. Will it be fixable? How long will it be down? Will they put him in another truck for this one to be fixed? Or just put him in another truck for good? Sigh. We wait... Went to Wal-mart yesterday and bought a few groceries. Frig and pantry was about empty! Course, we haven't been here to need anything here. But for these next few days - didn't want to go 'round hungry! LOL So, we bought a Salmon fillet that we are going to cook today. Going to fix a pasta salad for the family get together tomorrow evening. Krab salad for us in a day or so. Rick is hungry for spaghetti. But since we aren't eating tomatoes - I have decided to "try" something a little different. Will let you know how that turns out. I also got everything to make a "Twinkie Cake" (Recipe - HERE)... we really enjoy those! They are low in fat and low in sugar, high in fruits ... cool ... easy to make ... and they make you feel like you are "cheating"! LOL Today, laundry ... I need a laundry "fairy"!!! Course, I also need a dish "fairy"!!! And a house "fairy"!!! LOL Anyway ... another cup of coffee and then the day begins!!! ![]() Sigh... A phone call on July 17th from dispatch sent us back to the El Paso/Anthony area. I didn't handle it the best - I could have done better, but then again, I could have done worse! LOL ... Anyway - we went. Only this time, rather than going I-30 to I-20 to I-10 ... we went I-30 to I-20 and turned off just past Sweetwater, drove up to Post and took 380 across. Came in at Roswell, NM and followed the route on down into Anthony. It was only about 40 miles farther, but it was a much prettier drive ... and more bathrooms! LOL WDT had loads from Anthony up to Portales. But with the truck still overheating, Rick wasn't able to make as many as he would have like to. We spent 10 hours sitting on the side of the road in Mescalero, NM one day because of the truck overheating, a line broke. Thankfully, the tech who came out to work on the truck was kind enough and understanding enough to drive us back down the road to the only store in Mescalero. And thankfully, the lady there was sympathetic enough to allow us to use the "employee only" bathroom!!! While we were there, Rick bought 2 folding chairs. So, when we got back to the truck, we sat outside under a nice shade tree for about 2 hours while waiting on the tech to go back to his shop and create the part needed to get the truck back on the road. (I got some cool pictures that I will post soon.) Tuesday morning we got out of Portales and made it back as far as Alamogordo - 2:30 a.m. called it a night. Spent the night at the truck stop there. Got up a few hours later ... antifreeze puddled under the truck. Rick called road service (again) ... same young man came and looked at it. Could not be fixed on the side of the road this time. Had Rick drive it to the shop just down the road at Alamorosa. Diagnosis? Either a blown head gasket or a cracked head ... or both. Ballard's shop didn't want to spend the money and time for Rick to be down in the El Paso area for the truck to be fixed. So, dispatched him back to SS - empty, bobtailed. Sigh. Hopefully, they will make it right to him ... otherwise - the trip out to El Paso will not be paid, and neither will the trip back to SS ... plus 2 extra days off won't be paid. I just pray that God will move on the hearts of those that can make it right -- that they will! So ... here we are at the house for at least the next 6 days ... Rick will take the truck in today and leave it at the shop. Pick up his paycheck. Bills to be paid. Groceries to be bought. Then??? Rick has to go between Friday and Sunday to the hospital - have blood drawn. Monday is meeting with Dr. Tobin (Kidney specialist) and Tuesday is with Dr. Arneke (internist). We are praying for good blood counts and numbers ... no hospital stay. Praying for good reports from both doctors. Praying for good iron levels/stores - a good report from Dr. Cochran as well. Praying. Trusting in the Lord. I will also be working on the website a bit more extensively ... trying to get everything caught up and added to. :-) Not sure if we will get to see the kids and grandkids while we are in - I sure would like to! Well, thinking about more coffee ... and a phone call :-) ... Lord be with us all!!! This last week, early one morning, around 12:30 a.m. - a young man in the
Aurora, CO area walked into a midnight showing of the "Dark Knight". After weeks of planning, he threw 2 canisters of tear gas (?) into the crowd and begin to shoot. 12 people were killed, and 50 (?) were injured. Why? From reports so far, he was from a good home, had a promising future. So, why do this to innocent people? Why do this to his dad and mom? Why do this to himself? What purpose does this serve? There is no indication of this being a "terrorist" plot ... the police investigators are saying (at this point) that there are no known ties to any terror group. But this was certainly terrorism! It was terrorism on those present in that movie theater ... terrorism to their families and friends as they began the search thru the hospitals and clinics and morgues. Terrorism to the families and friends of those that have died, as they face the days, weeks, months and years of the rest of their lives without their loved ones. Terrorism to those that survived - survival guilt will haunt many, and this will certainly change everyone's life. Terrorism for those emergency responders as they came and found such terror among the people present. Terrorism for those that are answering phone calls still. Terrorism for the doctors and nurses at the hospitals as the victims were brought in - from minor to critical injuries. Terrorism even to those of us that are not family or friends to any of those involved. Just to know that someone like this one was living and working among us - and with little to no indication of what was being played out in his mind and emotions. One of the frustrating things to me is the way that some will automatically jump on the band wagon of "gun control" ... I was not brought up with a healthy fear of guns ... nor with the knowledge of how to use them. I was actually scared to death of guns when Rick and I got married. And I don't believe that guns should be available to just anyone at anytime or anyplace. I believe there should be laws regulated the sale of guns. And I believe there should be teaching and training in place - to both adults and children - of what guns are for, and what guns have the potential to do. But I also know that guns DO NOT KILL PEOPLE. PEOPLE KILL PEOPLE. All kinds of instruments are used to inflict injury, torture and death upon people. This one had placed a rifle, a shotgun, and a handgun in that theater. BUT until HE picked them up and fired them, those guns were just there. Doing no one damage or harm. Let's keep the anger focused on where it should be ... this young man. Not the guns he used. He could have used a bomb, a car, a whatever ... his weapon of choice was a gun. My spirit grieves and my heart hurts - for all those involved. Including his family. He has a daddy and a momma that will have to live with this the rest of their lives. As well as the rest of his extended family. Friends. Team mates. Co-students. Co-workers. All those that have spoken to him, or interacted with him at any point in his life. They will have the awful questions of "Why?" "Is there something I should have seen?" "Is there something I could have done to prevent this?" What can we do now? Pray for all those involved. For ... His family. Friends. Team mates. Co-students. Co-workers. For ... The doctors and nurses as they take care of the injured. As they answer questions to the families and friends of the injured, and the killed. For ... The people that will be working over the funerals - that they will have compassion and understanding in the face of this terror and fear, this death with no rhyme or reason. For ... Family and friends of those injured - as they try to be the support to those injured. And support the injured will need. They will need someone to listen to them over and over and over again as they try to make sense and peace with what has happened. For ... Family and friends of those killed. To say that final good-bye when there is illness or disease that has taken so much health and life - it is bittersweet. Bitter for us that are left. But sweet for those leaving - for they will no longer suffer and hurt. To say that final good-bye due to an accident is hard, because of the questions of "if only" and "what if". But to say that final good-bye because of an act of violence upon an innocent one ... that has got to be the hardest. The anger ... the frustration ... the confusion ... all of the raging emotions. For ... all the investigators and police that are involved in this. That they will have wisdom and knowledge and understanding in how to work this case - this young man does not need to get off because of some "technicality". For ... those that will be prosecuting him as well as those defending him. I'm sorry - but with my limited vision and understanding, I see no defense. Guess I am just a bit too "human" to see any hope of defense! For ... this young man. May God have mercy on his soul! I couldn't. I'm sorry. I pray that God will set upon this young man's mind and heart and soul, in a way that he has no peace without full confession. Jesus had compassion on the thief on the cross next to Him, but even in His compassion, His forgiveness, and His promise - the thief still had to die for his sins. We must trust in the Lord with all our heart, lean not on our own understanding. In all our ways, acknowledge Him. He has promised to come and to direct our paths, making them straight before us. Only God knows all the answers ... why? Why? Why? He may choose to disclose those answers here on this earth, and then again, He may not. But one day - be sure - Grace will be ushered in completely and all the scars won't matter any more. We will be with Him in glory ... face to face with Him. We will be reunited with all our loved ones. God Himself will wipe away the tears. What a day of rejoicing that will be. But for now ... breathe in ... breathe out. Trust in Jesus. And know that no matter what - God is still God ... And God is still good. Even without answers. Even without total healing and life. God is still God. God is still good. I pray that God our Father will wrap each one of us in His swaddling clothes and hold us close to His heart. Keep us there. Minister to our hurts, our fears. Strengthen our scars. And take us on forward into each new day, each new challenge ... for Him. A word about me ...
If you read this and don't mind reading too much information (for some) ... Please say a prayer for me ... I need wisdom and direction about what to do for me. Having some health problems ... mostly to do with the "change" ... sigh. I can handle the night sweats, the heat flashes (power surges), the mood swings (maybe others can't, but I can - LOL) ... I can handle just about all of it - even the aches and pains of hormones changing. What I am at the end of handling is the heavy periods. October 1 this year will be 12 years. ENOUGH. But without insurance (or a LOT of money) what am I supposed to do? I don't know of any doctor that will see me even for a consultation out of compassion or sympathy. Let alone a lab and hospital that will run the tests and do any surgery (such as a hysterectomy) without insurance or an assurance of money up front. Sigh. But I have had ENOUGH of all this. I have prayed and cried. Tried to believe God's Word for healing. Bargained with God. Argued with God. Gotten angry with God and with my body. Even tried to just give up and accept it all. I have tried about all the "remedies" that are known. Consulted with those that are supposed to know the "healthy and natural" way thru it all. I have researched until I feel "stupid". *I seriously do not know what to do now. I don't know how to keep on going with all of it ... but I don't know how to change it either. It has taken a serious toll on my body, my mind, my heart, my spirit. It has changed me. And I don't like it. It has also taken a serious toll on our marriage relationship. (TMI?) We know that physical intimacy is not what our marriage is based upon, but there is a need (desire) for it in marriage. It has caused me many hours alone - at home, in the bathroom, even at truck stops (because the place of delivery had no bathroom available). Hours upon days away from Rick - when I could have gone with him, but due to the need for a bathroom, I wasn't allowed by my body. Many church services and fellowships missed - hard to go when knowing that I would spend more time alone in the bathroom than not. Hours and events away from my kids and grandkids - how do I insist that whatever they want to do, wherever they want to go, has a bathroom available? And besides - if I am in the bathroom so much, I am not with them anyway. Sigh. So, I am seeking God - to know His way thru all this change. To know if there is an answer ... or do I just continue to breathe in and breathe out. I have never felt so alone and lonely. Oh, I know there are other women who deal with this as well - it's just hard to find one. Because this is not a "common ground" that you enjoy talking about. It is a NIGHTMARE that you live with - day and night. No matter where you are, or what you are doing, or who you are with. Sigh. Lord, help me please. A "minor" gout attack kept us at the house a couple of days.
Course, Rick wouldn't call any gout attack "minor"! The only reason I said "minor" was because he was still walking! Pain and discomfort, but I have seen him with gout so bad that he couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, couldn't stand to lay down and have his foot touch the bed, certainly couldn't walk thru the house without crying out in pain. Thankfully, this attack was not near that bad. A couple of days of drinking more water, eating fresh and canned cherries (not pie filling) and resting it up - and he feels better. Thank you God!!! The heat is still taking its toll on both of us. Doesn't take long in the heat to drain us and make us exhausted! We have been talking more seriously about losing the weight and getting in better shape. It's hard on the road, but not impossible. We just need to be a bit more creative in what we eat, and in figuring out ways to get exercise. Walking is the best form of exercise for us right now - less stress on these hurting bodies - but, it is difficult to find good and safe places to walk while on the road. We had thought we could walk around the truck stop parking lots - but the way some of these drivers drive? OMW! You literally take your life in your hands just to cross the parking lot and get into the store! OMW!!! Total lack of consideration. NO reason whatsoever to drive so fast and crazy in a parking lot! Good grief! Anyway - we are looking for different places that we could stop and walk ... maybe a roadside park. Course, it has to be somewhere that he can get a big truck and long trailer in and out of - which limits us a lot. Like I said - not impossible. Still have to get him to the lab for blood drawn and "work". Then, in to see the doctors and see what they have to say. Praying for good and excellent reports - much better than what we are afraid of. Lord, help us please. I have not forgotten to write here ... just didn't know what to write. Sigh.
Life has been crazy to say the least. And to be honest - I guess that is just an excuse we use to say that we have screwed up. Allowing "things" of this world to come between us and what we need to be doing. Sigh. Rick has always said that you make time for those things that are most important to you. Sigh. Rick's health is important to me. But then, he is a grown man. And I am only his wife. Not his momma. Sigh. He has to have and take responsibility of himself for his own body and health. I cannot do it all. Sigh. He is needing to get back to each one of the doctors and have a follow up visit. First, he has to have blood drawn at the lab for a CBC test. Trying to figure out the timing of it all - to work around his job ... which the job has NO schedule, no rhyme or reason to it. The "schedule" of the job is to go wherever dispatch sends him. And he doesn't know what dispatch will say until he calls in at 10 a.m. and then again at 4 p.m. I have been struggling to figure out how to put it all together around the job. Finally in the midst of terse words between Rick and me this week, he tells me to call the lab and the doctors - get it all lined out, and he will tell dispatch that he has to be available here for the appointments. ARGHHHHHHH!!! I'm sorry - but I could have already had that done! Oh well ... At least now maybe he will get in this month!!! Thankfully, he says that he feels good. His appetite is good. Other than a few dreams at night (when he eats too late, or too much) he is sleeping good. He is peeing good - no pain, no blood, no straining. His color is good. His energy level seems to be good - course after working he gets tired, but he isn't exhausted. The summer heat is hard on him, but then, it is hard on me and everyone else too. Not sure how much is "normal" and how much isn't. Something to discuss with the doctors. His blood sugar seems to be stabilized around 130 - 15o. Occasionally higher in the mornings - depending still on what he eats late at night, and how late he eats. (That has been one of his biggest challenges - not eating while watching TV late at night. He has always been a snacker late at night. Sigh.) He said that the worst thing he seems to have right now is his feet hurt. Said that the tops feel like fire ants are stinging him. My first thought is nerve damage. ??? Something we need to talk to the doctor about. Hopefully before the end of July I will have some updated numbers to put on here ... and some answers from the doctors as to how they think he is doing. *** We are still struggling thru the allergies - some days better, some not so much. But I think just about everyone can relate to that! Cough ... sneeze ... gag ... wheeze ... good grief! *** My legs are better! Praise God! Thank you my son and daughter in love for telling us what to do! Joshua said that I needed to be treated like they treat their horses. LOL ... He took one look at my legs and said that they looked like "proud flesh" to him. So, in accordance with Joshua and Dessie's prescribed treatment - black pepper and gauze covering them, they are better than just better! :-) *** And the journey goes on ... ![]() Sigh ... Dispatch sent Rick to Lubbock for a load going to Morningstar in Sulphur Springs. He got to the house last night about 11 p.m. Decided to take today off - told dispatch that he would call back in this afternoon about tomorrow. Rick and his dad have gone to town to take care of a few errands that have been needing to be done. I decided to take today off, too :-). Little to no work ... just spending most of the day in stillness and quietness. Reading some, working on the websites some, gonna work on some of my pictures. (Still trying to find that ONE best photo online album ...sigh.) Chris, Mandy and the kids are on the road to Colorado for a couple of weeks. Praying for traveling mercies to them. And that they will have an awesome time together on the road and while there. Also praying that God will grant them wisdom and direction for some choices and decisions that will be made in the coming days/weeks. Sure am missing my son and his family! Wanting some quality (and quantity) time with them!!! A time not rushed. A time to just sit back, laugh, love and relax together. Sigh. Our pastor has decided to step down from being pastor. We may not agree - but, we do support him. He and his wife and kids are dear and precious to our hearts and spirits. We may not have been at church every service since he has been there - because of Rick's work mostly - but, our hearts have been there. We trust that he is seeking God's will and direction in every way. Knowing that he is. ...Of course, there are rumors that abound at times like this. People need to PRAY for him and his family more than they talk to one another about it all. Good grief! ...We never heard Pastor preach anything that was unscriptural. Not to say that we always "liked" what we heard ... but then, do you always "like" it when you get a whipping? I didn't "like" getting my butt busted when I was a kid growing up, and I don't "like" it now from God - but then, that is a parent's way to discipline. In love, with grace and mercy. And besides - it was never Pastor that did the whipping! If we got whipped while he was preaching - it was God doing the correction! So, if we have a problem with being corrected, we need to take that up with God ... not with our Pastor! Andy Griffith earned his wings this week. "Mayberry" will never again be the same. Our country has lost a national treasure. Someone said that we need a life more like "Mayberry" ... and we certainly do! A life that is full of love and hope and honor and respect. A life that is lived and enjoyed at work, school, church, taking a walk to the local fishing hole, or sitting on the front porch sipping a glass of tea. We are in too much of a hurry now. Our world revolves around "faster, faster, faster" - from speed limits that have recently been increased, the 4-G Internet now, movies on demand, microwaves that cook in "an instant", cars that are touted to go from 0-60 in 3 seconds ... When and why did we get in such a hurry? What is so wrong with just taking a deep breath and slowing down? When was the last time you just sat down with someone and told a few stories and just laughed a few hours away??? Forgot to even check your email? Oops, didn't answer that text? Let voicemail get the message? Jesus said that as Christians we were to be "in" this world, but not "of" this world. What does that mean? And how do we live "IN" but not "OF"? I need to think about this ... and pray about it ... hope you will do the same. This song is on my mind and in my heart today.
There are so many hurting people all around us. People that need to cry out to Jesus ... and people that are just too tired and too weary to even cry out. May we be their voice today - cry out to Jesus!!! There is a lady in our town that has been thru more grief and heartache these last 3 weeks than what many people experience in a lifetime. 3 weeks ago, her grandfather died. 2 weeks ago, her son earned his wings. And this past Saturday, a final good-bye upon this earth to her daddy. Having gone thru the heartache of grief and loss - my heart and soul cries out for her. There is another lady in our town whose son was murdered. Planned and attacked. Left in the street to die. In our small town. She is a testimony of faith in our God in the face of this grief. A family member has been missing for over a year now. There is a "person of interest" in the case ... but no answers for the family. To be a mother and not know if your child was alive or not, hurting or not ... where. O cry out to Jesus! He knows. Just read a news story yesterday about a group of Boy Scouts leaving a camp in Wyoming heading back to the wildfire ravaged Colorado Springs ... met head on with an RV ... lives are lost ... changed. Grief and sorrow at the tragedy. Obamacare ... a real concern to those of us who do not have health insurance, and cannot afford to pay for it. Yet, we do not qualify for government assistance either. I know that God is in control - I keep breathing in and breathing out. Reminding myself to cry out to Jesus! Hopes that are deferred ... making the heart sick ... Dreams that die ... and leave us with nothing but empty hands and lost minds ... Words that are spoken in anger ... needing to be forgiven and forgotten - but they haunt and they torment ... Bodies that are weary and tired ... sick and aching ... Burdens and cares that just get too much to bear ... CRY OUT TO JESUS!!! CRY OUT TO JESUS!!! Be the wind beneath my wings -- and I will be the wind beneath yours. Pray for me ... Well, dispatch sent Rick back to the El Paso area on Thursday last week. Got there Friday afternoon. 111* in Anthony TX and the truck's AC decided to quit! Sigh.
Oh, and no milk to be picked up and hauled. ??? Sorry, but tell me again why he was dispatched 13 hours away??? Sigh. Spent the night at the Flying J in Anthony Tx - after spending 5 hours in the AC shop ... and the AC still is NOT fixed right!!! ARGHHHHHHH!!! Picked up a load of cream on Saturday morning. Drove the 8 hours to Tye, TX ... spent the night at the Flying J there. Drove on to Winnsboro yesterday. Dropped the trailer there. Took another one to the yard. Dropped it. And to the house. Deep breath. Sigh. Today? No idea. Rick was told by dispatch last night to just "call in tomorrow" ... so, we wait and we wonder. The joys (NOT) of being a milk transport driver ... and wife. Sigh. Sorry - just in one of those "moods" about the job today. Tired and a " |
So why "Scattered Feathers" ? ? ?You can read it here Past Posts
April 2023
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