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A few rambling thoughts this Wednesday morning ... We made a trip to Sulphur Springs a week ago. We took the 2002 Dodge that Rick traded the Suburban for, on the trailer to Sulphur Springs. Hoping to be able to turn it quickly. The desire and plans were to go to Oregon for a vacation. The First vacation of our 34 years together. But, alas ... our plans do not always follow thru. No one wanted to buy the truck "as is". Sigh. Hard to see the desires and plans fall out of our hands like grains of sand -- but we trust the Lord. We ask Him to order our steps, to direct our ways. Perhaps He knows better than we do ... and He is protecting us. Anyway - so rather than selling the 2002 Dodge pickup, Rick put it in the shop over at Paris - Precision Auto. They are in the process of running a diagnostic on it. Rick wanted to have it checked out completely. Will he sell it? We don't know. It is listed "For Sale". We can't see that we need it - we have 2 other pickups. Waiting to see what the Lord will do ... 
Rick had his doctor and dialysis center visit last Wednesday, too. Good report from both! Doctor said that his liver is functioning good, that the toxins are being flushed at a good level - by both the kidneys still working and the dialysis. His albumin level was up. His total blood count was good - 11.3! He has lost another 2 pounds - now down to around 248! Still working to get his phosphorus levels down, can't seem to find just the right binder to take with his meals. Sigh. Help us pray that his body will tolerate the binders better, and that the binders will actually Work! 
We spent a couple of days at the old house. Visited with Rick's parents, had a couple of meals there. Tina came up with her granddaughters. Oh my! Sumer and Kayleigh are growing so much! David and Crystal better get ready! LOL. Got to see Elijah and Brooklyn. Enjoyed the laughter and the love. Did a little shopping with Brooklyn - just her and Grannee! Bought her new ta-ta holders, LOL. Visit with Mandy - so very proud of her! She is back at the school system - working with the challenged kids. She looks awesome! You can tell she is so happy once again. I am so glad! Life is too short to be in a job that you are miserable in - good and excellent at, but miserable in. 
We left Sulphur Springs Friday afternoon after a few errands. Stopped at the QT in Greenville for a potty break. It was a busy time for the store. Rick went to the restroom, and when he came out he said there were several guys in front of him, and several coming into the bathroom, too. For whatever reason, he didn't see the "wet floor" cone. It was a collapsible cone, should have either collapsed, or at least slid out of the way when he touched it. But it didn't. He said that it was more like it was stuck to the floor, and it tripped him. He went down. Caught himself on his knees and his left arm. An accident report was filled out and turned in. He is sore - doesn't bounce as good as he used to. Pray for him - that the soreness will soon release him. 
Back to Coffee Creek RV Resort. I miss these people so much when we are gone! There are some people in life that come and go ... and some people get into your heart! These are those - they have gotten into my heart! I love them! Monday night we had the meal together. We enjoy those times of fellowship so much! No drinking, no smoking, no bad language. Just good clean fun! Laughing ... joking ... hugs ... and good food! Monday night was sandwiches, chips, dip, and a Twinkie pie! Sweet and unsweet tea, with lemonade, too. Oh and good, sweet, cold Watermelon!!! This next Monday night will be "Bring your own meat to cook" ... everyone is to bring their meat to grill, Baked potatoes will be furnished, salad will be brought ... and as always - dessert! 
We are not working at the park today. Today is payday - the time to balance the checkbook, pay the bills, medications refilled, a few groceries to be bought. Also need to clean this house, do a little laundry. Would like to finish setting up my new computer. Oh, my new computer! About 4 months ago, Rick bought me a new laptop. This one is getting slower and slower, and the keyboard is wearing thin - to the point that some of the letters cannot be seen LOL! But, I have been so busy that the new laptop was still in the box this last week! I decided to take it to the old house and work on getting it set up and ready to use while I was there. I opened it, plugged it in, booted it up. Uh ... it got to a point that said I had to activate Windows. ? I tried. Followed it step by step. Didn't work. I called the number for Microsoft. They walked me thru the set up - didn't work. They said they hadn't seen that happen. ? What? So, I called Robert -the guy I bought it from. Now this was a Brand-New computer, not a used one, not a re-built one. Brand New! I told Robert that I had not opened it in the 4 months that I had had it. He laughed, and gave me such a hard time over that! LOL. I told him what it was doing - or rather not doing - and he said that he had set up over 100 computers and had never seen that! Asked me to bring it back to him, said he would help me. So, we took it to him that afternoon. At first it looked like it was going to go straight thru. But then ... it said that Windows had to be activated to proceed. He said he had no idea what to do. Hummm...well, neither did Microsoft! He had no other laptop to exchange with me ... the only thing he had was a brand new HP All-in-One desktop, Touch screen!!! He even exchanged with me! All right! A bigger computer, a better computer! Windows 8 - taking some getting used to. Still working on getting it all ready to use - but at least it is out of the box!!! LOL 
Well, one cup of coffee down ... time to fix another and get to work! God bless you and yours in this day ... and always! Love you all! Praying for you - that the God of all comfort will wrap His loving arms around you and pour out His Grace and Mercy on you, on yours! Catch ya' later! 
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 Thank you Lord for the rain last night. The thunder and lightening was quite a show - and terrified our dog, Cheri! She could not figure out what was going on. No amount of love and attention would quiet her and calm her. I finally made her a "hiding" place on the couch, and she curled up into a ball and went to sleep. Poor baby. Her was skeered! 
 We are leaving Coffee Creek RV park in the morning, going to Sulphur Springs. Rick has a doctor's appointment and labs at the dialysis center in Paris tomorrow afternoon. Praying for good labs, and an encouraging doctor's visit. Also praying that Dr Greenwell will have the wisdom to know if Rick needs something besides antibiotics and Mucinex to fight this cough and congestion!!! We will be in Sulphur Springs until Friday, waiting on a dialysis delivery. Rick is also going to be trying to sell the 2002 Dodge 2500 4x4 pickup that he traded the Suburban for. Praying that the Lord's will is done ... but also hoping it sells! We don't need a 3rd pickup!!! --Like Joshua and I agreed on, Rick does NOT need to be a used car salesman! Goodness knows that he would want to keep just about every vehicle that came on the lot! 
 I find myself increasingly frustrated. Rick is living with End Stage Renal Disease. But he is still functional and active. Therefore, we find ourselves, both him as the patient, and me as his primary caregiver, falling thru the cracks of just about every program that is available to ESRD families. It's not right. This life is not easy - even if he is active in his own care. Thanking God daily that he is high-functioning, and able to be active. HOWEVER, it would be good to fit into a support group - to discuss all our emotions and struggles with someone who really knows and understands what we are dealing with. Or to have some help occasionally - physical, mental, emotional, financial. We have been told - oh when he gets worse you will qualify for ... ARGHHHH!!! Who decides that he WILL get worse? What if God allows him to stay at this high function and activity level for the rest of his life??? We know other ESRD families that are in the basically the same kind of boat we are in. And they are just as frustrated as we are. I may not can create programs that they and we can qualify for now ... but goodness! There should be a way to bring us all together and have a VOICE!!! --Lord knows i have a big and loud mouth! LOL 
 I love my children and my grandchildren. I think they are all "perfect" - well, at least in my world they are. My daughter and my son are my best friends. They have made me laugh and made me cry. They have held me when i cried. They have given me comfort and strength when i was afraid. My grandchildren are the treasures of my heart and soul. I find so much happiness in them - and thank God for the life they have given to me. More than once my children and my grandchildren have been the wind beneath my wings - giving me flight on an otherwise really BAD day. I know that jobs and home and school along with distance and lack of money cause us not to be able to get all together as much as we would like to. I understand that. In my heart, we are all together all the time! But i just want to say that I love my children and my grandchildren, and i really, really, really miss them! Sigh.
It has been 3 weeks now since I first got sick. Whew! And i am still coughing! Will it ever end i wonder??? I don't think the cough is as deep, nor as often. So, i guess it is getting better. Still hard to carry on a conversation for longer than a couple of sentences without a coughing fit, tho. And it has been a couple of weeks since Rick got this crud. He's still pretty miserable with it. Still taking antibiotics and living on Mucinex. Thankfully, his doctor's appointment is this coming Wednesday - that will make me feel better, at least. Let Dr. Greenwell decide how he is. Sigh. 
We have another truck now. Sigh. Rick traded the Suburban for this one - a 2002 Dodge 2500. He now has this one up for sale. (We sure don't need another one! We have one paid off, a classic, and another one that we are having to make payments on.) IF this one will sell this week, we are going to take a vacation. Our FIRST vacation in 34 years! We will be going to Oregon. Rick is wanting to go fishing with his best friend, Craig. Then, we will come down the Coastal Highway 101 into the Redwood Forest of Northern California. I know that some will question us doing this. But ... Rick is dealing with a chronic disease. Kidney Disease with Renal Failure. It is a disease that he can live with - but how well? how long? Only heaven knows. We have read and heard the statistics. And by best accounts we are looking at 10-14 years of peritoneal dialysis. He is still trying to judge the thought of transplant. (Not even sure he would be a candidate for a transplant.) I pray every day that God will do a miracle in Rick's body and heal him. Heal his kidneys to the point that they are filtering the toxins out of his body - where he doesn't have to do the dialysis. I pray that God will restore him to walk in health on this earth. But then ... no one is promised a tomorrow. No one is promised good health all their days. We trust in the Lord ... Jeremiah 29:11 And "Even If" the healing does not come - God is still God, and God is still good!!!!! 
I am working on a couple of websites besides this one. One is my recipe collection, Kamelotrose's Kitchen - @ Blogspot - -I have had many ask about recipes, and I just haven't been able to find a place to share - so decided I would try my hand at creating a simple recipe blog. The other one is a gathering place for my morning thoughts with the Lord - Kamelotrose's Mornings --I have been asked several times to write a book ... well, if there is a book in my near future, i'm thinking it will be along this??? Trying to put all this together in an orderly way, something that makes sense to me (and hopefully to any who read it). Pray for me - God says in James that if any of us lacks wisdom, let him ask of God ... and that God will give the wisdom. O Lord! I need wisdom!!!!! And i am asking! ) 
I also have over 10,000 pictures in my computer to go thru! Organize! Decide what to do with them! Lord, don't let my computer crash out on me! *** The park has been quiet this weekend ... we didn't need to work today. That felt weird! LOL We have a couple of days to help out this week before we go to Sulphur Springs. *** The park is having a "Jam" session in September. Not sure who all is going to be here - but I know that there are special RV rates, and if you just want to come and go, it will be $5 per day. Coffee Creek - y'all come!!!!! 
The death of Robin Williams this past week breaks my heart. I grew up with Mork - loved him the first time I saw him, and love him still. Guess I have seen just about everything Robin Williams has ever starred in - and loved him always. He has made me laugh ... and made me cry. He made me think beyond the end of my nose. Thank you Robin for all that you have done for me! Thank you God for giving us this man of laughter, of love, of gratitude, of energy. 
Depression may be described as feeling sad, blue, unhappy, miserable, or down in the dumps. Most of us feel this way at one time or another for short periods. I have heard so many things about depression in the days since Robin Williams died. Some are understanding ... some are not. Some are kind and compassionate ... and some are - well, just plain Rude! My opinion - - there is a REAL physical, emotional, mental depression. A depression that is caused by an imbalance of hormones and body chemicals. And there is a REAL depression caused by our own thoughts and perspectives. No matter how good my life is going, no matter how good i feel - I can actually make myself depressed by focusing on all the "bad" things of my life, my body, and this world. If I do not struggle to keep my eyes on Jesus, i will be depressed - have been, and will be again ... because I am too human for my own good!!!!! What was Robin's depression? I do not know. I do not claim to know. I pray for his family in this time of grief and loss ... and for the rest of their lives in learning to live without him. 
I do not question when someone tells to me that they are depressed. It is not to me to question. All i can do is to pray for them ... and perhaps to share my own struggle with depression. I do have an opinion that too many doctors fall back on the diagnosis of "depression" and write prescriptions for medications - when what the doctor needs to do is to LISTEN to the patient! The doctor needs to consider that not all patients are exactly alike, and few fall within the pages of the medical journals! Perhaps there is a TRUE depression ... and perhaps there is something else wrong - physically, emotionally, mentally. There was a time when a doctor wanted to write me a prescription for medication that would "help" me deal with the depression i was feeling ... and somehow I knew deep within that I did not need medication. I needed someone to LISTEN, to CARE. And I needed someone to speak up and tell me the TRUTH - Life sucks way too much!!!!! Deal with it - find a way to be the miracle in someone's life every day ... 
Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. Psalm 42:11 Yes, easier said than done ... but what in life is easier done than said??? Depression is very real. And needs to be addressed. People need to know that they are LOVED, CARED FOR, and LISTENED to. Praying that the God of all comfort will wrap His arms around you and LOVE you, CARE for you, and let you know that He does LISTEN. Love you all ... 
Whew! Will the coughing never end??? Good grief! 10 days now ... cough ... a round of antibiotics ... cough ... a bottle of Mucinex ... cough ... enough liquid to float the ark ... cough ... can't lay down to sleep - feels like someone is sitting on my chest! ... cough ... Still all the drainage is running either clear or looks like cotton - a sign of allergies. Sigh. Really? Good grief! Sigh. And now Rick is dealing with it! He started his antibiotics yesterday ... has been on Mucinex for several days ... using his breather ... No fever ... no chills ... no upset stomach at all ... We are tired - but that comes from the coughing and the lack of sleep/rest ... and we are sore - it hurts to breathe! But the soreness is from all the coughing. Sigh. So, today - rather than going in to work for Scott here at Coffee Creek ... we cleaned this house! Everything that could be wiped down with antibacterial wipes was! And what couldn't be wiped down got sprayed good with Lysol! Poor Cheri - our dog! LOL ... she doesn't like Lysol - and there was no where to get away from it this morning! LOL It may not work to make us feel better - but it has gotten to that point that we had to try something! At least show that we are being pro-active! Lord, help us please!!!!!
After many requests, I have started another website - this one is all about recipes. Kamelotrose's Kitchen ... Just getting it started - will be adding to it as quickly as possible! :) If you have any ideas, comments or suggestions - please let me know!!!!! 
A little time on one of my many soap-boxes ... I know that there are some that question our reasons, our sanity, when it comes to choosing to live in an RV and now work camp. That's ok to question ... and even to question us ... to ask us "Why?" But ... to question us repeatedly? Time after time? Every time we see one another or speak? And to question us with an air of you know better than we do what we need to be doing in our life? Really? This was not something that we just woke up one morning with a wild hair and decided to do! This was prayed about, argued over, talked out, researched into. This was a calculated and serious decision that we made. Did we make a mistake? Perhaps - but only Time will tell that! And only God will judge us (rightly) about this. I can say that Rick's doctor is very well pleased with what he is seeing and hearing from Rick so far. We have been doing this for the last 4 months - and Rick has gotten better reports from the doctor and the lab than since he was first diagnosed with Kidney disease and renal failure! For that reason alone, we will continue to do this as long as God allows it. I know that some are concerned about us - and we really do appreciate that. We thank God for your care, your concern, your thoughts, and your prayers. We covet that! And those that are actually interested in what we do, where we are - thank you! Your interest in our lives mean so much more to us than these words could ever say. So these words are not meant for you ... However, there are those that just -for whatever reason- want to stir the pot, or try and control our lives. To you - back up! Stop it! We are not children that need this! We have enough to deal with without having to defend where we are and what we are doing! If you don't approve, and you don't like what we are doing - pray about it. Pray for us - if we are doing something wrong, God will tell us, He will convict us, He will convince us. Pray for us. And other than praying for us - call Rick's doctor ... Mark Greenwell in Paris, TX - tell him that you disapprove of us doing this. ...ok ... stepping down for now ... telling the Madea in me to be quiet, calm down. LOL 
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So why "Scattered Feathers" ? ? ?You can read it here 
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April 2023
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Website designed & developed by Margaret McCoy
God is God over the storms in my life & world -
and I am His. Trusting in Him. Holding to His Promises as He holds me. Learning to laugh, to love, & to live ... again - without Rick, but with God Life goes on ... even when we don't want it to. Great grief is indicative of a great Love. Rick, my Sweetheart. Margaret, his Beloved. Always & Forever. |
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