Good (yawn) morning! Coffee!!! oh my!!! What a trip these last 11 or 12 days has been! Not all bad. Not all good. But all stressful! Thanking God for His mercy, His love, His grace. Thanking Him for being the God of angel armies who always walks beside us!!!!!
We made a lot of miles these last 12 days. Santo, TX to Sulphur Springs, TX. Right at 200 miles. Then to Tyler on Wednesday, back to Sulphur Springs on Thursday. To Tyler and back on Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday. About 65 miles one way. And returned to Santo on Tuesday. Yes, we are tired, weary, worn out. Many miles. Much stress.
We worked at the park yesterday morning. I cleaned house yesterday afternoon. And paid bills.
The good part of the day yesterday? Joshua, Dessie, Shell and Kyla came over! Oh my! How very good to see them all. How very good are their hugs!
We ate supper outside at the picnic table. Laughed, ate, just enjoyed the company!
Joshua bought our 2003 Dodge pickup for Dessie :) ... she is such a good wife, an excellent momma. He is blessed! And so are we!
It is good to be seeing everyone again here at Coffee Creek. I missed everyone SO VERY MUCH. These people are not just neighbors. They are our friends, our family! We live together here, we laugh together, we cry together. We listen to one another. We pray for one another. Family isn't always about blood kin - it goes deeper, much deeper than that! I am so thankful for our Family here at Coffee Creek RV park in Santo, TX!
Rick and I struggle just like everyone else does. Some days more. Some days less. But LIFE is a struggle. Spiritually. Emotionally. Mentally. Physically. Financially. LIFE.
These last 2 weeks we have had more than a fair share of struggles. And they have taken a toll on us.
I for one do not feel as rested as I wish I did. I do not feel as tolerant or patient as I would like to be. This body is screaming with aches and pains, with soreness, with a tiredness that is bone-weary.
There have been "words" between rick and I ... and not nice or kind words. Words of impatience. Words of selfishness. Words that hurt one another. Words that have done anything but encourage and support one another.
We try hard to understand, to have compassion - that we are both struggling, and hurting. But ... sometimes ... it is just a bad moment, or a bad day. Sigh. LIFE.
And way more often than what we would like to admit, we look at everything we don't have. We see the glass as half-empty. Focused on the emptiness. Fixated on the want. When what we need to do, what we ought to do - is open our eyes to the blessings of the Lord! See what we do have.
God, forgive us. God, help us. God, hold us for a while. Please. Thank you!!!!!
Update on Jimmy, my father in law. Surgery was last Thursday morning, just about this time. 7:15 a.m. It went well - exceptionally well. We spent about 4 anxious, prayerful hours -- waiting to hear from the doctor. And then, we were allowed to see Jimmy. He was still "under" to some degree. But he did open his eyes and look around at us. We let him sleep another 4 hours. Breathing tube came out. We went back in to see him. Still sleepy, still groggy. But when asked how he felt? His answer - MOOO!!! LOL ... this was in response to him getting a cow's heart valve. We knew at this point that he was fine!
He was in the hospital thru the weekend, and on Monday. Thought he was going to be able to go home on Tuesday. But, no. His prostate had swollen to the point that he could not pee. They used a catheter on him, to drain the bladder. And they started him on medication to take down the swelling.
Jimmy went home yesterday! He and Mary Lou were both happy to be going home. It will take several days to recuperate from the hospital stay.
We are praying for continued health, healing, and strength for Jimmy.
Thank you God for seeing him thru all this ... and for walking with us thru it all.
We have made it to Tyler, the hospitality house. This is a nice apartment. Supper was at the Cracker Barrel, good food. A walk about Walmart (of course....lol). And now here waiting for bedtime. Knowing that the morning brings "The day". A day of prayer. A day of waiting, praying, hoping, praying, wondering, praying. Knowing that God has Jimmy in His hands, that He gives wisdom to the doctors. And we still struggle with the fears, the worries. But we do trust in the Lord.
Jimmy may be my father in law.... but he is my Daddy! I love him with all my heart. Always have and I always will.
It isn't ever easy to see a loved one go thru surgery. More often than we like it is necessary.
Please remember to pray for Jimmy thru all this.
God, please help us. Please hold us, too. Thank you!
We are in Sulphur Springs. Went to Tyler on Monday for pre-op with Jimmy.
Going tomorrow afternoon to stay at the hospitality house. At the hospital Thursday morning 5 a.m. for surgery at 7:15 a.m.
Please pray. For Jimmy. For Mary Lou. For all the family. For the doctors and nurses.
I "think" this should catch me up --
**For those who don't know ... Rick's dad, Jimmy McCoy, is having heart valve replacement surgery this coming Thursday - October 23, 2014 - at the Louis and Peaches Owen Heart Hospital, Tyler, TX. His aortic valve is not closing properly and the cardiologist said that half of his blood is returning to the heart with each beat of the heart. So far, does not appear to have damaged the heart, however, that small window is fast closing. Hence the urgency to get this repaired!
Jimmy is 74 years young - and in relative good health. He has high blood pressure and diabetes, both of which are well controlled with diet, exercise and medication. He goes to the gym 3 or 4 times a week, does the mowing, goes where and when he wants to. He never has drank or smoked. Cardiologist said that all these things are in his favor. Please be in prayer for Jimmy, for Mary Lou - his wife, Rick's mom. As well as praying for the family. Jimmy is the rock in the Walker's and the McCoy's. He always has been - and will continue to be. He's ornery - but very loved!!!!!
**Rick's nurse called me today with his lab results from Wednesday. Phosphorus is down - Praise the Lord!
However, his albumin (protein) is down also. For a dialysis patient, this is not the best. Albumin should be at 4, no lower than 3.8. Rick's albumin is now at 3.5.
His calcium level is creeping up, which means that we really have to watch his dairy intake at this point. It is a balancing act between the phosphorus binders and the level of calcium. His binders are calcium based - the best tolerated by his body.
His total blood count is down. Concerning. His hemoglobin should be no lower than 10. It is now at 8.5. We must be diligent about the EPO shots - now at 100 on the syringe, twice a week.
Please pray for Rick. He struggles with all this. Yes, it is a physical struggle and challenge. But even more so is the mental and emotional side. He has always been a very independent man. Never liking to be told where to go, what to do, and certainly not what to eat! And now? PROTEIN, PROTEIN, PROTEIN!!! As well as very little if any dairy products - and he is a milk and cheese man!
** My prayer today --
O Father! God of all glory. God of heaven. God of earth. God of all. God who is good - all the time. and all the time, God who is good. i love you!!!!!
my heart hurts today with so many hurting people. people that need you Lord. people that are going thru some major life crisis - us included. lanetta's husband has throat cancer, stage 3. autumn called me and rick's total blood count is now under 9 - should be no less than 10. i was afraid of this when he makes such an issue of the epo shots, and when i have caved and given in to not giving them to him. sigh. i think of our kids and our grandkids. of rick's dad and mom. and those here in the park - as well as the park changing from a family to a business. so sad. and then all these people so affected by ebola in our nation. the fear that ebola makes to rise in our minds and in our hearts. fear of the disease itself, fear of people's reactions to the fear, fear of what our leaders will or won't do.
but God - you are so much greater than any of our trials or troubles. you are God. our Father in heaven. you know when a sparrow falls to the ground. you know the number of sands upon the shore. you have a name for every star in heaven. how much more important are we to you? you gave your only begotten Son for us. you care. you are aware. you love us.
i want to acknowledge your love and care over us right now. i want to accept your love and care for us. Father, just to lay down my resistance and believe. trust you - God is good all the time.
forgive me of my sins. cleanse me from all my impurities. make me holy. help me to believe. revive me O Lord God - turn my heart to you. let the Deep call to the deep - and let the deep hear, answer, believe.
O Father God! Poppa! i need you! oh how i need you! hold me now ... please, just hold me. hold us all. love us until we believe. love us until we trust you. O Father God!!!!!
in Jesus' Name ...
thank you - i love you!!!!!
We are still here at Coffee Creek RV park. Still work camping. Still missing Don and Mary Ann and Scott. And yes, there are days that we just breathe in and breathe out.
The First National Bank in Weatherford, TX has the park. Rick (not my Rick) is the new manager. He is a nice man. I think he is a bit overwhelmed with all the details of running this large of an RV park. We try to understand that he is at the mercy of the bank as to what he can or cannot do.
Just about everyone who was here before is here still. There have been a few that have left. There have been a LOT more who have come. The park is a lot more full on a regular basis than it was before. Which I know in a business sense is very good. But sadly, the sense and feeling of "family" seems to be dissipating a little more every day. There are tensions that run high and deep. There are changes that makes us realize more and more that this IS a business now, not a ministry, not a family ... a business.
Will we stay? Only Heaven knows. We are here today. We have no plans to go anywhere. But this is a true life of faith - one day at a time. We see no farther than bedtime tonight. (And honestly? sometimes not even that far!)
We still encourage others to come and to visit with us here at Coffee Creek. Not just us personally, but to either rent a cabin, or stay in their RV. But we aren't as passionate as we were. Simply because a lot of that passion was in the FAMILY.
One of the saddest changes to me has been the cessation of the Monday night meals. I miss those times of cooking, laughing, teasing, picking on one another. Those FAMILY meal times ... oh how I miss them. But with the changes that have taken place, and with the unhappiness that is so prevalent in the park ... so much of the interest, and the passion, for those Monday night meals have just fizzled.
Change is inevitable in this life. But that doesn't always mean that change is good. Or welcome. And even when change might be good - it still isn't always welcome.
Once again, dear God - thank You for never changing. You are always the same - yesterday, today, tomorrow and forever. You care. You love us. You are God - good all the time. And all the time - You are good.
O Father ... the winds of change are blowing ... and leaving us feeling so scattered and without sure footing ... help us to remember in all of this storm - that You are the Master of the winds, and that even the winds and the waves obey Your voice. change is hard enough when it is of our own choosing and making. but when LIFE changes without our choice or permission - whole new ball game! God, help us all - help us to help one another. help us to all look to YOU - the Author, and the Finisher of our faith.
i love you. so glad that you NEVER change! you are the same - yesterday, today, tomorrow and forever. thank you!
Coffee Creek RV Resort - the place that God led us to in May of this year, 2014. the place that we have come to love. the place that we have made many new friends who have become family - cause family is not just blood relations!
no longer the same.
talked with edna some. talked with mary ann some. visited with janet . no one knows what to do. these winds of change are shaking and scattering us all - emotionally and mentally right now, sounds like it will be more physical as time goes by. sigh.
it is all so sad to me. we thought we had found a HOME here with Coffee Creek. a place to work camp, but also a place to share our hearts and our lives. a place to put down some roots. just HOME for a while. and now - thru no choice of the Rash'es, thru no choice of ours ... these winds of change are blowing a storm across us, thru our lives.
O God! remain the Anchor for us thru all of this! please.
there is no one or no thing saying that we must leave. just the opposite. we are being asked to stay on as work campers. and we are - at least for now. nothing good ever seems to come from panic. so even when we are afraid, or tossed about on these winds of change - we trust in the Lord, sometimes resisting at first, but we do trust Him. and for now? peace, be still. if and when the time comes for us to leave here - it will be God that directs our steps, and He will make the way firm and straight before us ... that is His promise.
we miss Don and Mary Ann so much! they had become more like parents to us, a guiding light in the darkest of times, a strong and sure foundation of reason and peace. and they still are - just not here at the park every day. i miss the hugs, the laughter, the conversation. we miss Scott - he was the security here in the park. we knew that all was well when he was here - for he tolerated no foolishness whatsoever. and now? we feel a bit like we are on standing on shifting ground, blown by these winds, praying that underneath the moving ground there is a Rock that will be there no matter what or where.
i will say this - the sense of family is even stronger in these last few weeks. those that we had known a little, or more in passing? they have become stronger friends, deeper roots to the family.
and in talking with Mary Ann today, she said that they were Good! that they had been resting, not realizing just how very tired that they had become. that's awesome!
we know that God's Word is true - and that He really does make all things work together for our good ... but sometimes it is hard to just wait it all out.
*Rick did have an MRI done on his total back. Thankfully they were able to schedule him at the Open Imaging in Greenville. He does NOT do the closed MRI's.
--anyway ... results are in -- he has 3 areas of concern in his back. upper around the neck area, middle, and lower back. In all 3 areas he has a couple of bulging discs. Not known as to why. However radiologist said that this is common as we get older. These bulging discs cause a narrowing of the vertebrae, which is pinching some nerves. Nothing to be done at this time except to monitor. Hopefully the swelling will calm down and the numbness and tingling will too. If not, there is an option to see a neurologist. Probably not surgery, but shots? or pain management?
**Also, we are still at Coffee Creek RV park. Still under the management of Rick, who is directly under the First National Bank out of Weatherford, TX. Seems sometimes that every day brings a new change ... but as of yet, still no changes that we cannot live with.
O Father. sometimes i think you and i need a LONG vacation together - just you and me ... somewhere on a deserted island ... you, me, the Bible and a LOT of coffee! sigh.
LIFE. O Father God ... LIFE. sigh.
2 Saturdays ago, rick and i went to Cross Plains, TX and watched our grandson, and our adopted grandson, both ride in the buck-out. it was a Blast! we had so much fun! Shell rode to the buzzer for a score of 72. the luck of the draw left him with a running horse rather than a bucking one - but he still spurred on! C.R. drew a rank horse, and was bucked off about 6 seconds into the ride.
and then, this last thursday night, we were privileged and blessed to see our oldest grandson, Elijah, play in his football game at Como-Pickton. Go Eagles! and they won! 38-0 - awesome! it rocked this grannee's world! i am a football grannee! yee-haw!!!
rick had his doctor's visit this past wednesday. good visit. good report. it will be later this week when we get the results of the blood work. the only thing - last month when we returned to coffee creek from his doctor's visit .... we had stopped at the quik trip in greenville, and rick took a fall in the store. the soreness has mostly gone - but he is left with little to no feeling in his hands, always having the numbness of his hands being almost but not quite asleep. and he has a very tender spot on his neck, and lower back. dr greenwell said that he believed it to be like a whiplash on the neck, and perhaps a strained or sprained lower back. but because dialysis patients are more prone to bone fractures, he ordered an MRI to make sure there is nothing serious going on. he said that if it is whiplash and a sprained lower back, that it will just take some time - along with a balance of rest and activity - to heal up. we wait on the MRI.
we enjoyed a visit with mandy while we were down in sulphur springs. i am so proud of the woman she has become! thanking God daily for our daughter - and one of my best friends.
we also visited with rick's parents, tina and Kayleigh. oh how precious Kayleigh is! she and i argued - lol ... and i was told - "you're funny!" :LOL, uncle bill, pat, and charlie. a good visit with everyone. good conversation, sweet laughter.
back at coffee creek ... still hanging in there work camping. missing don and mary ann and scott ... getting to know the new manager, Rick. there are changes, and it is hard to enjoy changes - but so far, not something that we cannot endure. like my rick said - if changes get to be something we cannot live with, that is the good thing about living in an rv! it has wheels! go on down the road! time will tell ... and we shall see.
i know that God has the plans for our lives ... sometimes i wish He would at least give us peek into those plans ... but guess that is part of this life of faith!
It's hard to believe it has been almost 6 weeks since I have posted here! To those who come here to receive updates, to those who are loyal readers - I apologize. To say that life has thrown us a curve ball, to say that life has just been busy - way too easy. I am sorry for not coming here sooner.
But today ... today is a catch up day. I have written some posts that have sat in my computer unpublished over the last 6 weeks - so today, I will add them here one at a time.
Again, I am sorry, and I humbly ask forgiveness. (perhaps understanding :) ) ...
So why "Scattered Feathers" ? ? ?
You can read it here