Coffee Love
  • Coffee Love
  • My Profile
    • Stay the Course
  • Scattered Feathers
    • When You Need the Music
    • Love Notes
  • My Recipe Book
    • Appetizers
    • Bread
    • Casseroles
    • Crockpot Love
    • Meats
    • Veggies
    • Desserts - oh my!
  • Junk Drawer
    • Worth Sharing
    • Helpful Hints
  • Contact Me

So Why "Scattered Feathers"?

12/29/2019

0 Comments

 
Yes, I have changed the name of my blog to "Scattered Feathers". 
Why? 
There is an old story, perhaps you have heard it, or some version of it.
It goes like this:
A woman, who was a known gossip, went to her pastor with a broken heart. She wanted to not only stop gossiping, but she wanted to correct all the wrongs that her gossiping had done to those in her life. 
The pastor listened intently, offered her a Kleenex or two, and when she had quieted, he said:
"What I want you to do is to take a feather pillow with you, and go to the top of the highest hill just outside of town. When you get to the top of the hill, break open the pillow and let the winds take the feathers where they will. Then come see me tomorrow."
The woman thought it was a very strange request, but assuming it had some message in it about forgiveness and letting go of the past, she did just as he said.
The next morning, she was at his office before he came in. She told him that she had done exactly as he had requested.
The pastor sat down. He was quiet for what seemed an extremely long time to her. 
Finally he raised his head, looked her in the eyes and said:
"Now, go out there, find and gather every feather. Put them back into the pillow. Stitch it closed. Make it as good as it was before you did this." 
She looked at him with shock and distress.
"I cannot do that! There is no way to know where the winds have scattered the feathers! And even if I could gather them all together, I ripped the pillow beyond repair." 
He listened to her objections. 
And quietly answered her: "No, you cannot do that. Neither can you return and make all right from where you have gossiped. The best you can do is to know the pain & hurt you have caused, and determine to never do that again. If perhaps the opportunity presents itself to make apologies, or in some way restitution? Then by all means, do so. But for the most part? You must let go of the guilt that plagues you, and commit to a better way of life from this heart beat forward." 

A couple of mornings ago, as I sat with a cup of coffee and my journal, I realized that my life has become much like those scattered feathers. When Rick died, it was as though my pillow had been ripped open and the winds took my thoughts, my dreams, my fears & hopes, my stuff, my very life - and scattered my feathers to where I cannot find them all again. No wonder I have felt a darkness, a hopelessness that has overwhelmed me. I have spent 4 years 8 months trying to gather my feathers and put it all back together. 
I can't. 
I'm done trying. 
My heart is weary. My body is exhausted. My mind is on burn-out. My soul & spirit are dry and beyond empty. 
All because I have been working so hard to pick up all my scattered feathers.

I sat still, allowing the tears to cleanse my heart, soul and mind. 
I took a deep breath and accepted that I cannot gather my scattered feathers. 
But I can go from this point forward. 
Breathing. 
Living. Laughing. Loving.
Doing the best I can do with this life I have been given NOW. 
Treasuring the memories of the life I had - before my pillow was ripped, before my feathers were scattered. 
Seeking wisdom and direction. 
Guarding my heart more carefully. 
In some way creating a new pillow, filled with new feathers. One that will give me strength and comfort, one that I can find rest upon. 
But no more spending futile hours and energies on working to gather the scattered feathers. 
​I will trust those scattered feathers to God, and to Rick. 

My new year began 2 mornings ago, with a cup of coffee, a light shining in the darkness, and my journal.

Picture
0 Comments

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    So why "Scattered Feathers" ? ? ? 

    You can read it here

    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture

    Past Posts

    April 2023
    March 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    August 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    October 2017
    August 2017
    June 2017
    January 2017
    November 2016
    October 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012
    August 2011
    July 2011
    June 2011
    April 2011
    March 2011
    February 2011
    October 2010

    RSS Feed

    Picture
Website designed & developed by Margaret McCoy

​
God is God over the storms in my life & world -
and I am His.
Trusting in Him. Holding to His Promises as He holds me.

​
Learning to laugh, to love, & to live ... again - without Rick, but with God

Life goes on ... even when we don't want it to.

Great grief is indicative of a great Love.

Rick, my Sweetheart.
Margaret, his Beloved.
Always & Forever.
​
Picture
©Margaret McCoy, the Queen of Kamelot Coffee 
  • Coffee Love
  • My Profile
    • Stay the Course
  • Scattered Feathers
    • When You Need the Music
    • Love Notes
  • My Recipe Book
    • Appetizers
    • Bread
    • Casseroles
    • Crockpot Love
    • Meats
    • Veggies
    • Desserts - oh my!
  • Junk Drawer
    • Worth Sharing
    • Helpful Hints
  • Contact Me