I have been waylaid!!!!! The definition of "waylaid" is ... to intercept or attack from ambush, as in order to rob, seize or slay" What a perfect definition! Yes! I have been waylaid!!!!! Friday when we took the grandkids home, I was fine. Had a little cough - figured it was nothing more than either (1) allergies, or (2) the "Lisinopril cough" ... most likely a combination of the two. But I felt fine. Saturday, we worked here at Coffee Creek RV Resort. By Saturday evening I was feeling worse. Just out of breath. Tired. Weary. Weak. And coughing horribly. It got worse thru the night. Sunday morning, too sick to even think about going to church. Worked on Monday - spent the better part of the day trying to get the laundry done from the cabins that had been rented over the weekend for the family reunion that was here. Monday evening we had our meal - Breakfast for Dinner. I made it thru all that - but with absolutely no reserves whatsover left. I remember stumbling when we were finished at The Star, Brock was at the door to help. I really don't remember coming home all that much - like a major fog. Monday night was awful! I found myself on the couch, trying to give Rick some peace and quiet in the bed, with a coughing fit hitting every 10 minutes and lasting 3-5 minutes. Oh my!!!!! Tuesday I started a round of Z-pack antibiotics. Taking Mucinex. Using Rick's breather. Drinking LOTS. But I was unable to work - barely able to stand and function within the RV. Good grief! Tuesday night was basically a repeat of Monday night. By Wednesday morning, the coughing fits were coming less often, but still just as intense and violent. Still unable to function enough to get out and go to work. Wednesday night I was able to find some sleep - about 30 to 45 minutes without coughing 3 different times thru the night. This morning, I decided to take a shower - thought surely that would make me feel better. Yes and no. I feel cleaner. But talk about being wiped out! Oh my! So, once again, we didn't go to work. I have worked on the website a little, surfed on Facebook some, but slept on the couch more. Still coughing - the "fits" are coming maybe once an hour or so now. Intense, violent, and painful. I have pulled something in my stomach and lower right side - never knew such muscle pain and soreness as I know now. Please Lord, have mercy!!!!! 
Rick has been going round and round with the 2003 Dodge truck we bought a few months ago. He found this truck at a used car lot. Drove the truck. We were allowed to keep the truck overnight and test it out. The price was excellent. The truck seemed sound. Everything checked out on it. Our son, Joshua, loved it! Financing went thru ... the truck was bought and brought home ... And then the nightmare began - Oh my word!!!! First it was just getting insurance on it - never knew it was that hard to get insurance on a flat bed pick up! Good grief! Ended up going with Geico just to get a decent price - but we weren't happy. After a couple of months, we switched to Farm Bureau - better price, local agent. Then, although it pulled the RV great - the lights were a pain in Rick's behind! An afternoon in the trailer shop and $80 later - the lights were working when hooked to the RV, but not when the truck stood alone. ? What? Charlie looked at the lights - said that they were a virtual rat's nest of wires, and it would take longer than he had right then to trace it all down. Joshua looked at it and said basically the same thing. Joshua and his daddy talked about just getting the "metal lights" like you use on a trailer. ? Then, when we were taking the Suburban (on a trailer, pulled by the Dodge) from Santo to Sulphur Springs, the power steering pump went out in the middle of Dallas traffic! Really? The truck has been in the shop now for almost a month. Rick finally found a pump at a reasonable price in Houston, had it shipped in. Mechanic got it on, and it is working - thank the Lord! Today the mechanic has been working on the lights. Can we say "buyer's remorse"? Sigh. Our hearts were not in a bad place when we go this truck - we had no way of knowing all this was going to happen and eat into the money that we do not have ... sigh. Lord, have mercy! 
74*! And it is July 30 - not April 30! In Texas! At 4:22 p.m. - not a.m.! Wow! How nice is this?!?! There is a cloud cover, just a little breeze blowing. I can so DO July like this! LOL Especially after getting way too much sun last week while sitting at the swimming pool with the grandkids. I wouldn't take for that time with them - just wish my body wasn't so sensitive to the sun. And I don't mean sunburning sensitive! But allergy type sensitive. Sigh. If I can garner the energy, I may creep out the door and sit outside for a while - thinking maybe the fresh air might make me feel better. Not sure what is for supper tonight ... still not having much of an appetite - know I need to eat, just hard to find something that tastes good, and stays down very long. Rick is still doing good on the dialysis. His numbers are still good. He said that he is tired more than what he was - not sure if that is from doing more, or perhaps the hotter weather. His legs are giving him some trouble - said that they are super-sensitive. We aren't sure if that is normal in a dialysis patient or not. ? Something to discuss with the doctor in August. I am working on the website here ... and trying to figure out just how to do our genealogy. I have some others that are interested in what I have done so far. But to figure out the best way to share ... hmmmmm 
Rick is wanting to take a vacation trip the end of August into the first of September. If God will provide the money to do so. His best friend, Craig, in Oregon, has invited Rick to come up and go salmon fishing during the run this year. Rick would really like to do that - and especially since not knowing how all this will be longer term with dialysis. Rick said that if God makes the way, that we will actually have a vacation this year! If so, it will be our FIRST vacation EVER! September 5 will be our 34th wedding anniversary. And due to work and raising kids and paying bills - we have never taken a full vacation. A day here and there. But never a go away vacation. When we lived in Idaho, we would come to Texas 3 or so times a year, but it wasn't like a relaxed time to get here or get back. We hurried here to spend all our time with the kids and grandkids and then had to hurry back to go to work. We would like to take some side trips on the way up to Oregon, and on the way back. Rick said that he has several things on his "bucket list" that could be accomplished with this one trip. Now, just to wait and see if God has this for us ... if so, we need the money. Lord??? 
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We have been BUSY these last 2 or 3 weeks! But busy is good ... keeps us out of trouble! LOL ... Rick had his appointment with Dr Greenwell & the nurses at the dialysis center. Got an excellent report! All his blood numbers and dialysis numbers are good - thank you God! The only problem is that his phosphorus is too high. Just about every food there is to eat has some phosphorus in it. And phosphorus is needed by the body. In a person with healthy kidneys, whatever is not used by the body is flushed out by the kidneys. However, in a person with kidney failure - that cannot happen, and therefore, without medication, the phosphorus can build up in the body and turn toxic, very toxic. Rick has been on a phosphorus binder for almost 2 years now. The first one, Phos-Lo, seemed to make him feel extra full. He had dealt with that for over a year. Finally discussed it with the dr - and they decided to try Renvela. He didn't have the full feeling - but he got to noticing that he was having more and more gas pains, severe bloating in the "gut" area, cramping so bad that he would double over and was unable to move about. Called the nurses, discussed it - and they said that Renvela does have stronger side effects in some people. (We were not warned, sigh.) So, Rick has gone back to the Phos-Lo for now. Waiting on the newest phosphorus binder to be ordered - Velphoro. Please pray with us that this one will not have any major side effects, and that it will indeed lower his phosphorus. He has cut back on most of the high-phosphorus foods, some cutting out all together - but his phosphorus count has continued to climb. Sigh. 
Joshua and Dessie shared Shell & Kyla with us this past week - they brought the grandkids over on Sunday and we took them home yesterday. I miss them so much! LOL ... Shell & Kyla went with us to work every day here at the park. Well, Kyla did - Shell worked with Scott, and with Don, and with Brock! After lunch every day, P-paw laid down and took a nap during the heat of the day ... and Grannee went to the swimming pool with Shell and Kyla. I sat under an umbrella each time, but I still cooked! If I don't peel, I will be darker after this summer! LOL So much laughter and love ... Kyla painted Grannee's toenails - neon pink :) ... I told her that with my back giving me such trouble lately I had not been able to cut my nails, nor paint them. She did both! Made me feel special and loved - :) ... Shell got to meet Lucky - one of our Warrior Hero's. They seemed to hit it off. Lucky not only let Shell hold his pellet gun - which was "awesome" in itself according to Shell - but Lucky let Shell shoot it! Friends for life now! 
Last Monday night, the meal here at Coffee Creek RV Resort was potluck. I fixed chicken and dumplings, homemade mac & cheese, and pies. There was so much food brought! Everything i tasted was GOOOOOOD!!!!! We had so much fun ... laughing ... eating ... laughing ... cleaning up even ... I really look forward to these Monday night meals! This coming Monday night is "Breakfast for Dinner" - I love to have breakfast for dinner! 
I am doing ok. Some days better. Some days so-so. Guess part of that is just age ... and the heat of a Texas July. God is teaching me some things ... I hope I am learning them. Some of His teachings are like light bulbs that go on in a dark room ... and then some are like a Jethro-slap to the head! So thankful that His grace is greater ... thankful that His love is everlasting!!!!! 
Way back when I first started this blog and website, I told you that we would be honest - good and bad days. Praying that God will find a way to use even the "badder" times of our lives ... Romans 8:28 ... Please do not judge me on these words -- this is just part of the "not so good" part of all this ... I haven't spent a lot of time working on "my" stuff lately ... website, blogs, reading, pictures, genealogy, recipes ... I have spent most of my time and energy either helping out here in the park, or dealing with my husband. I love my husband. I have loved him always. And I will love him forever. So, please do not judge me ... But dealing with a chronic illness is so different than dealing with the illnesses and injuries of life. And if you have never had to deal with a chronic illness - be thankful, and pray for us! Please - pray for us!!!!! You know, when we went to the training to know what to do and how to do the home dialysis - nothing was said about the mental and emotional aspects of it all. And in my opinion? That is one thing that NEEDS to be included in that training!!! We were not prepared in any form or fashion for all this! The discouragement, the frustrations, the wild pendulum ride of emotions - the extreme highs and the absolute lows. The battles with resentment and bitterness and anger. Wow. No other word. Just wow. And certainly not a good wow. I did not know how much the kidney failure would affect our marriage, our life. I do now. And it is a hard adjustment ... and feels awfully lonely - especially in the dark of the moments. Sigh. Sadly, the emotional and mental side of it all is actually harder to deal with than the physical. Just to know that unless God performs a mighty miracle - this is life now. This is the best it will be. There will be good days and there will be bad days. There might even be as many years to life as there would be without the kidney failure. But unless God does a miracle - this is life, this is about as good as we can expect it to be. And don't misunderstand me - I am so grateful that Rick is doing good. His numbers are good. His color is good. He still has a lot of energy and strength. Physically he is doing very well - especially for a kidney patient on dialysis. We have talked to others, and to the doctor/nurses ... and everyone says how very well he is doing. And we do have good moments ... even occasionally a really good day. But there again - it is the darkness of the moods when the reality sits in. How betrayed he feels by his body. How out of control he feels - cause he doesn't get a choice of the medications, or of the dialysis. Well, he has a choice - but not if he wants to Live. Kwim? Sigh. And I miss my friend ... my husband. I miss the times of being held, and comforted in the storms of life, or in the thunderstorms. I miss being taken care of. I miss the laughter, the teasing, the playing. I miss going for a walk. I miss the long talks about the future. Not just the every once in a while ... Oh how much I took for granted all these years ago ... how much I miss now. Sigh. I am grateful that God has given me the wisdom and knowledge to be Rick's caregiver. I just miss being taken care of, too. (Wow, I just re-read these words, and it sounds selfish to me ... but I know my own heart, and I really don't mean it that way! I'm just awfully lonely in all of this. Sigh. And weary. And worn. Sigh.) **Father God - please touch him and heal him - blood pressure, blood sugar, blood numbers, iron levels, kidney function ... all the aches and pains - feet, hands, shoulders, back, dialysis to be working exceptionally well - with consistently, constantly high UF numbers. Touch him and heal him. And help him to have a better attitude and spirit about life and living with all this. That he will face it all as a Challenge ... and focus to rise above the challenges. It's not easy. The easiest thing is to crawl off into the aches and pains, be wrapped in the discouragements and disappointments. I pray you will give him vision! Hope! A future! And wisdom to get from where he is to there. Open his eyes to see and know the blessings of the Lord - even in the midst of all this. Father God - you established marriage. And you brought Rick and me together. You have been the glue that has held us together all these 33+ years. Don't let us go!!! Don't EVER let us go!!! Our marriage relationship/walk has changed over the years. Help us to accept those changes - Live well within those changes. Rise to the challenges. I just pray that in the changes we don't lose you ... nor one another. Kwim? There were times that we were better than before "Life" bit so hard ... Will you make us better in spite of, and even because of - "Life"??? Help me please to accept the differences between Rick and me. And help me to trust YOU to meet my needs - either thru Rick, or directly from you. Please ... In Jesus' Name ... thank you! Even if ... thank you!!!!! Your job is not to judge. Your job is not to figure out if someone deserves something. Your job is to lift the fallen, to restore the broken, and to heal the hurting. ~ Unknown 
 Rick and I are work camping this summer (possibly longer?) with Coffee Creek RV Resort, Santo, TX - about 25 miles west of Weatherford, TX. I would like to say that of all the RV parks/resorts that we have stayed at across the United States, this is our favorite! *This is a quiet family park, with a Christian influence - which suits us to a "T"! There is a peace and a joy here that we have not found at any other RV park/resort. The owners are not "preachy" - but they do live as "salt and light" in a dark and tasteless world! We thank God for them every day! *The owners are precious people - a real joy to work with and for. Never once have they asked us to do something that they themselves are not willing to do. They work harder than anyone else here! *Everything is in good working order - if we find anything at all that is in need of repair, it will be fixed that day if possible. *The pool is maintained on a daily basis - never have we seen a pool kept cleaner! My husband is a dialysis patient and he is allowed to go into the pool for swimming because of the cleanliness! *We are asked for 2-4 hours a day, and on average 4-5 days a week. But it is not hard to want to work more for them! They are a joy! And in such a short time they have become more than the park owners to us - they are our friends, a part of our extended family! *They listen when you talk to them, no matter what you are talking about. You are a priority!!! *Bathrooms are a high priority around here - and there are 12 public bathrooms in the park. They are cleaned and maintained on a daily basis. Showers are AWESOME! *Laundry facilities are well maintained and extra clean, as well as well air conditioned - which is very nice when you are trying to do laundry on a hot Texas day! *Grounds are mowed and weed-eated. Not allowed to become trashy. No tall weeds allowed here! *Trash containers are emptied daily. *There are 2 meeting houses - both are cleaned and maintained. We have a park meeting with a meal every Monday night - that has been so great! Really enjoying getting to know our park neighbors!!! *Coffee every morning at 9 a.m. at the office - and since COFFEE is only more important than Life (LOL) ... VERY important!!!!! Good coffee and great conversation - a perfect start to a good day!!!!! *We do have Wi-Fi ... and if you have much experience with Wi-Fi, then you know that it can be good and it can be frustrating. Depends on a lot of different factors. So, no, it is not 100% perfect. Sorry ... but considering everything else here? Not such an issue! LOL ... *What else is there here? A fishing hole (actually 3!) ... a nature trail ... volleyball ... playground for the little ones ... a game room ... a swimming pool and hot tub ... a fitness room ... a gathering room - with a desk, 2 tables, 8 chairs, a couch, and a TV ... the roads are good in the park - well maintained ... the park is easy to get around in. *And we have some of the BEST people here! The full-timers that live here are awesome! They have opened their arms and their hearts to us - and taken us as a part of their family! Give them a moment and they will to you, too! LOL *And we are but 25 minutes from Weatherford, 25 miles from Stephenville, 15 miles from Mineral Wells, 1 hour from Graham, and can be in Sulphur Springs in 2 hours! This is a country setting - but so close to so much!!!!! *Laughter ... love ... LIFE ... Yep - a "10" for us here at Coffee Creek RV Resort in Santo, TX!!!! Y'all come now - Ya' hear!!!!! COFFEE CREEK RV PARK & RESORT ... SANTO, TX!!!!! 
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So why "Scattered Feathers" ? ? ?You can read it here 
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Website designed & developed by Margaret McCoy
God is God over the storms in my life & world -
and I am His. Trusting in Him. Holding to His Promises as He holds me. Learning to laugh, to love, & to live ... again - without Rick, but with God Life goes on ... even when we don't want it to. Great grief is indicative of a great Love. Rick, my Sweetheart. Margaret, his Beloved. Always & Forever. |
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