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Well, finally got all the confusion worked out about the needles for insulin. And gave him his first injection last night. I realize that there are hundreds of thousands of people on insulin - but this is our first go-round with it. So, we have a few thoughts ... and a lot of prayers!!! Mainly that it will WORK to lower his blood sugar. The other medication (once Dr. Greenwell increased it) had it down from the 300-400's into the 200's ... but still too high. Rick had an MRI on Tuesday @ Greenville Open Imaging. We met with Dr. Devinney yesterday for the consult. MRI shows healing in the rotator cuff - thank you Lord! It shows no new tears or damage - thank you Lord! The only reason Dr. Devinney can think of for the weakness in Rick's aggressive strength is possibly a nerve is compromised. ??? So, if worker's comp will authorize it, Rick will be having a nerve test in Tyler sometime in late February. Until then, Dr. Devinney wants Rick to continue with physical therapy - to keep the shoulder from getting stiff and frozen. He also said that there is a possibility that with the continued physical therapy, that nerve will relax itself. The only other thing in the MRI that is concerning to Dr. Devinney - two or three "fat pockets" showing up. He said that if those were there before surgery - and Rick was using his arm then - that they would still be there now, and would not affect how well he can use the arm now. However, and he is going to look at the original MRI, if the fat pockets have developed after surgery, then that is a good reason for the weakness. Physical therapy has a good chance of working that thru - with time. (We are now praying for worker's comp to have time and patience with us in all of this.) The Doppler was done on my legs yesterday afternoon. Waiting to hear from the doctor on the results of the blood work, urinalysis, and the sonogram. 
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 Found this in my phone after one of the granddaughters had been playing on there. LOL -- made me smile ... made me want to just grab them both up and hug them and hold them close always!!! Wonder if that is how God feels when I tell Him how good I think He is? This has been a very trying week to us ... some good ... some not so good ... and some? Just bad (at least in our little world, by our own standards, BAD.) ... Yes, we have survived to another day ... the beginning of another week. Thank you Lord. Rick had 3 PT appointments this week - and thankfully, he was able to make and keep them all. Jeff (therapist) is not pleased with his strength in the shoulder. Passive strength and range of motion? Very pleased. But overall strength? No. Jeff said that Rick should be much farther along in the healing. We have not heard on the MRI that Dr. Devinney requested. I will call tomorrow to see if his office has heard anything. Dr. Devinney wants to see how the healing looks in the shoulder and rotator cuff - and to make sure there isn't another tear. We also went to the Dialysis Center. A check up. Dr. Greenwell has changed medications for Rick - putting him on 2 different kinds of blood pressure medication and a different diabetes medication. So far, all the dialysis solution coming out has been clear! Praise the Lord!!! No sign of infection!!! Praise the Lord!!! Also, his catheter site is looking good. His feet check good. Lungs are clear. Praise the Lord on all counts!!!  After leaving the Dialysis Center on Wednesday evening, rather than coming back to the house, Rick took me to Hochatown, OK ... and we stayed at the Lodge that is across the road from the entrance to Beaver's Bend State Park. A very nice place to stay. Quiet and clean rooms. Large rooms. Felt good to just "run away" for one night =). On Thursday, after doing the 2 exchanges of the morning, we left the Lodge and drove over into the Park. I took many pictures, and will upload those soon. Since it was not the busy season, we had a lot of the park to ourselves =)...course it was too cold to get out and do anything, but we sure enjoyed seeing the mountains, the trees, the creeks and the rivers! We stopped at the gift shop and Rick bought me a pretty pair of earrings and found him a walking stick. Enjoyed just the quietness of the gift shop, too. Afterwards, we got to go thru the Museum. That was interesting. We are looking forward to taking the grandkids there soon.  Coming back here was a let down. I wish it were not that way. But sadly, it was. Not sure why ... except we feel so disconnected and isolated here. The house is high maintenance and with neither one of us 100%? Well, it just gets so discouraging at times - seems that we fight that battle more than we don't any more. Sigh. Payday came and went ... but the frustration with the new insurance program remains ... OMW!!! We are having to pay $73 more a paycheck for Rick's insurance and it isn't worth the $50 it was costing with the other insurance last year!!! We talked to Rick's sister, her husband works for the same company, and she had a few choice words for the insurance too!!! The discouragement over the 45% of salary that worker's comp remains, too. I know that God is providing and HE alone is taking care of us. It's just frustrating that you work for a company pouring your heart into it, giving up so much of your life and time, and when you get hurt and need some help - rather than being fair and right ... well ... guess it could be that Rick was getting nothing right now. So, we thank God and pray HIS provision for all our needs!  I am having some "issues" ... my feet are swelling. They have been swelling for a long time, but always before they would go down at night when I went to bed. Not any more. Especially the left one. The ankle is so swollen it makes walking difficult and painful. Also, I have a knot on the inside of my left leg @ the calf, as well as a knot on the outside of the same leg @ the calf also. The white tips of my nails are "growing" towards the bed of the nails, and wherever they are white, they are also turning loose of the finger beneath the nail. A LOT of pain in my hands, my knees, my back, just all over. Not sure what is a result of the hysterectomy, and what is something else. So ... I finally gave in and went to the doctor on Friday. Blood work ... urinalysis ... results to be back early this week. And she is scheduling a "doppler" on my legs. My first thought was the dopplar radar on the weather channels - but she said, no that wasn't it. LOL ... Rather, a sonogram of my legs to check for blood clots or "anything" else. She gave me a fluid pill in the meantime, trying to pull some of the fluid from my legs and feet. And she gave me a pain pill to take along with the hydrocodone that we are already taking. So ... more waiting to see ...  Plans are to leave here on the 8th of February and drive down to Joshua's. Stay with them until the 13th. Leave there for Houston. Spend that night with Al & Christine. Appointment with oncologist on the 14th. Drive out to the Woodlands and enjoy some fellowship and time with Mike & Nina. We have been asked to spend the night there as well. =) Then, we will be coming back here on the 15th. I know that this is a doctor's appointment time - but you know, I am SO looking forward to the time away, and the time with family and friends. Rick and his daddy are working with the wood splitter today, since the weather is so much warmer. Rick isn't doing anything but pulling the lever down and then up. His daddy is doing all the handling of the wood. I heard them talking a little bit ago during a break. I know that it is good for Rick to be outside, and to be talking to someone besides me!!! And it is good for me to have the house to myself for just a little while.  Well, guess I had better get some other things done ... time sure has a way of speeding past some days. Seems like we just did an exchange a few minutes ago ... but I look at the clock and we need to do another one in just a little bit. My oh my ... where does the time go???
Praying for each one that reads this ... and even those who don't. God, take care of each one. Meet their needs according to your riches in glory thru Christ Jesus. Bless us Lord! Bless us INDEED!!!!! Enlarge our territories. Keep your hand on us. Keep us from evil and from temptation - that we won't cause pain or harm. Blessed be the Name of the Lord ... He gives and He takes away -- BLESSED BE THE NAME OF THE LORD!!! Updates ...
Rick was at the Dialysis Center this past Wednesday. Met with Dr. Greenwell. Blood pressure is lower, but not pleasingly low enough. So, he is now taking Coreg andCozaar. Blood sugar is lower, but neither is it pleasingly low enough. So, Rick is starting with insulin. (My point of frustration with this? We go to Wal-mart pharmacy and get the insulin filled. Now keep in mind that Rick has ALL his prescriptions filled at Wal-mart. So it is not rocket science to know that he has NEVER taken insulin before. Dr. Greenwell ordered the insulin pen - Lantus. Fine. Easier to use. Fine. Considering that we have NEVER used insulin, we know NOTHING about it - except what the doctor/nurse has explained to us. Ok? We get home, and I am getting everything laid out so that I can prepare myself and Rick for taking this ... the pen doesn't look right. Finally figured it out - NO NEEDLE. I call Wal-mart, and we are told that we have to buy the needles separate, with a prescription. Saturday afternoon ... so now, we wait until Monday morning so that I can call the doctor!!! ARGHHHHHHHH!!! One would think that the pharmacist would catch this!!! But, not so ... where oh where is true CUSTOMER CARE SERVICE??? SIGH.) Rick's other blood numbers are all getting better. Closer to being in range. Thank you Lord!!! His catheter site is looking good - no infection. His dialysis solution is still clear - indicating no infections. Thank YOU LORD!!! We have been doing dialysis now for a month. Getting the hang of it pretty good. Not many mistakes now. Thank you God! Remembering what to do even without the "cheat sheet". Finally! LOL Rick is still struggling with the full feeling. We went to bed the other night after doing an exchange and when he finally got still with a measure of comfort, he said - "I now know how a pregnant woman must feel!" ROFL! Physical therapy is still going on with the shoulder/rotator cuff. Jeff (physical therapist) told us yesterday that his passive strength is doing ok, but the active strength is what is so lacking. His range of motion is excellent. His mobility is good. Just having to really concentrate and work with repetition on the strength training. We met with Dr. Devinney this past Wednesday. He is a bit concerned with the lack of strength in the shoulder, so he is wanting another MRI done - just to see the degree of healing. IF worker's comp will approve. Rick is finally getting some relief from the cough/congestion crud. After a round of antibiotics, 2 boxes of Mucinex and now on his 3rd bottle of Mucinex - he OUGHT to be better! Goodness. So thankful that he is able to breathe deeper and better. *** I have an appointment in Houston @ MD Anderson with Dr. Frumovitz on February 14. We will be going down on the 13th and should be coming back on the 15th. 
 Thank God for coffee!!! Whoever decided all those years ago to take a bean and add hot water to it - BLESS YOU AND YOURS!!! LOL ... I look forward to that cup (pot) of coffee every morning. Some have accused me of being addicted - I don't think I am. It's not that I CANNOT live with out my coffee - it is that Rick doesn't WANT to live without me having my coffee!!! ROFL  This picture may be true ~at least I hope it is~ but ... I do seriously need to decrease the size of my airbags! But seriously - it is HARD to do!!! Gets harder and harder the older I get ... and especially dealing with all the health issues that we are facing right now. Health issues that come not only with challenges, but with so many restrictions. And these restrictions are not only about what we can or cannot do - but what we are to eat, and what we aren't to eat. Sigh. Definitely a balancing act to all of this. Praying for wisdom and direction from God - the Great Physician and all time Trainer. Please Lord - help me!!!  This is about the truest picture I could find ... I am mentally and emotionally exhausted! I never knew that dealing with health issues could be so exhausting mentally and emotionally. Overwhelming to say the least. Like -- *When you are faced with paperwork that starts out "End of Life Alternatives". Sigh. OMW ... deep breathing ... *Trying to balance diet and nutrition with what we are allowed to eat and what we are to stay away from ... *Trying to get exercise without exercising ... that's a trick! *Dealing with all the house "stuff" -- ...cooking without standing in one place very long at a time (me), or with only one hand (Rick). ...cleaning without bending over, without sweeping, without mopping, without running a vacuum cleaner ...doing laundry when we don't have a washer and dryer - which means that every load of clothes must be taken out - either to laundromat, or up to Rick's parents'. ...keeping a fire going - I can't because I am not allowed to handle all the wood, so Rick has been faced with doing it with only one hand, and trying to work around the catheter in his belly. We have had a little help. Rick's parents doing our laundry once a week. Rick's dad, our daughter, and our grandkids here bringing the wood into the house - mostly. At least Rick hasn't had to bring in a lot, yet. A couple of meals brought to us. One friend (Nina) who went to Sam's and bought us several meals that all we had to do was put them in the oven - that was NICE!!! We are coming to the end of the 6th month of this ... going into the 7th. And when do we expect to be back to "normal", on our own??? Well, Rick is under physical therapy with his shoulder until at least March 1 ... then will be re-evaluated. The catheter/dialysis will be a part of our life from now until ... either a transplant, or a miracle from God, or Rick is "home". I am under restrictions at least until February 14 ... and then? Well, a lot of that depends on what the check-up shows, and what Dr. Michael has to say. I know that after the detailed surgery I had to have, that there will still be some restrictions until the rest of the first year is done. (Which will be September 28 of this year). So, sadly - it seems that everyone is getting weary of helping us too. Which leaves us ... how? Where? Sigh. No, I never knew what it was like to deal with a CHRONIC condition, how exhausting it is ... sigh. Lord God - help us please. Give us peace, courage, strength. Give us the will to go on ... to face these storms - and to praise you in the midst of it all. Please. Thank you.  This has become one of MY prayers. I find myself praying it A LOT!!! The life that we knew before January 2012 is over. Done. Never to be known again. Does that mean that we don't have a life now? No. We do. Just a different life. And it takes some getting used to!!! There are a lot of changes that we have been thru in all these years of marriage. 32 years together. Yes, we have seen a lot of changes. This so far is proving to be the greatest challenge of all. Rick and I spend a great amount of time reminding ourselves and one another about how blessed we are. Counting those blessings ... those mercy drops ... We also celebrate the little things - a good blood pressure reading, a cold glass of tea when we are thirsty, a song that touches a point deep within us, a kind word spoken by someone, a hug from anyone, when the puppy potties on her pad ... so many little things that keep us breathing in and breathing out ...  Since we are beginning to get things "timed", I am starting to do some things other than doctors ... *I could not find a purse or tote bag that really worked for me - I have to carry so much everywhere we go. So, I decided to try my hand at making me one. Took me over a week to get it right and make it - but it WORKS!!! :-) I have had several comment on it, that they liked it. And of course, I have had a few say negative things about it - how "handmade" it looks, that it is "too big" - but like I told them, "It IS handmade!" And - "If you had to carry all that I carry? You would need it BIG, too!" LOL *My daughter liked my purse/bag so much that she had me make her one ... just finished it last night. Now, to make my daughter in love hers. LOL *Going thru my recipes - trying to get a cookbook together for my girls and grandkids. So many "momma" recipes that have no measurements tho! Hard to figure out how to write out those directions! LOL *Getting back to working on our genealogy. Trying to add the stories and pictures that I have. Wanting to upload everything online so that we can connect and re-connect with family thru this. *Also going thru pictures! OMW!!! 32 years of pictures to go thru!!! Not going to finish that today!!! LOL *Going to make my son a quilt ... not quilted on the machine, but by hand. I have it ready to put together. Will be working on the top today. *Granddaughters are going to get a bag/tote ... grandsons will be getting pillows, possibly throw quilts for watching TV. Thank you Lord for helping me to figure out something to do that isn't revolving around doctors and hospitals!   These last 10 days have been a battle - with discouragement, despair and depression. A battle that has left me weak, weary, worn out ... and with a passion to TRUST IN THE LORD with all my heart! Sigh. Long nights dealing with sleeplessness and pain. Worries that tend to stay off in the shadows during the day and come out with a vengeance in the dark and lonely hours of the night. Talk about monsters in the night!!! OMW!!! Thanking God that HE is greater than anything in this world!!! Jesus never promised that this life of faith would be "easy" - just possible. He warned us in John 16 that in this world we would have troubles. But He also told us to be of good cheer - because "I HAVE overcome the world". HAVE = to possess; own; hold for use; contain; to get; receive; take; to experience; undergo; endure; to hold in sight; to be required; compelled; under obligation; to go at vigorously; attack; cease; finish; occupy OVERCOME = to get the better of in a struggle or conflict; conquer; defeat; to prevail over; surmount; to overpower; overwhelm; to overspread; overrun; to gain the victory; win; vanquish; engulf; flooded; to render incapable or powerless by laughter; to be victorious. Oh, oh, oh!!! I LIKE that!!! Overcome = to render incapable or powerless by laughter!!! Jesus has overcome this world!!! He renders powerless BY LAUGHTER this world!!! ALRIGHT! I CAN DEAL WITH THAT!!! THANK YOU JESUS! THANK YOU JESUS! THANK YOU JESUS!!! . 
 Before I share this - let me say that God is God no matter what. And He alone is worthy of all praise and worship. I trust Him with all my heart. But I am learnING to walk this life of faith. Not there completely yet. Just learnING. I wish that I could say that all things are good all the time. But, in honesty I cannot. I can say that God is good all the time, and that all the time God is good. That's the honesty of this life. The life we are now living is not an easy one. There are many moments of discouragement and frustration. Many thoughts of "is this really worth it?" PD dialysis is the easier of the dialysis choices. But don't misunderstand - it is NOT easy!!! There is more freedom with PD than with hemodialysis. But there is less freedom than what we have ever lived under before. A typical day's schedule with PD? Beginning somewhere between 8 - 9 a.m. Get Rick's vitals - weight, blood pressure, blood sugar, temp. Record everything. Wash hands. Get supplies laid out and ready. Wash hands again. Open bag of solution. Hang it on the pole. Add new cap. Wash the end of his catheter. Attach to the pole's organizer. Rick opens the clamp. He drains out around 2500-3000 (+) ML of the solution from the night. Takes around 15 minutes to drain. Then, he switches to fill. And another 2500 ML fills the Peritoneal cavity of his abdomen. Takes around 15 minutes. Wash hands. Unattach him. He is finished. Empty the drain bag into the toilet. Clean up the room. We now have about 4 hours ... Then, between 12 noon - 1 p.m. we do this over again. Another 4 hours ... Between 5 - 6 p.m. again ... 4 hours ... The last exchange of the day is right before he goes to bed ... somewhere around 10 - 11 p.m. Which has proven so far to be the hardest one to do yet. We are both exhausted by this time, wanting only to go to bed. Not sit in the room for 45 minutes doing an exchange! The 4 hours between the exchanges are spent working on paperwork and records ... learning the new dialysis diet ... struggling with our limited bodies (still in recovery from surgeries) to clean and maintain a relative clean house ... phone calls with doctors, hospitals, labs - trying to set schedules for appointments and tests, also trying to work out payment plans on the bills that are quickly piling up, but the money isn't. (Rick is still on worker's comp - which is proving to be about 45% of his weekly normal salary.) We try to stay in touch with family and friends. I struggle to keep up with this website. Working hard to stay with Facebook. Rick's dad comes down every day or every other day and helps to bring in wood for the wood stove and fireplace. And then there are the appointments with the doctors, nurses, hospitals, tests, labs, and rehab that must be kept and worked in during those 4 hours between exchanges. Oh, and an occasional trip to Wal-marts for the needed groceries. Which all leaves precious little time for "us" or "me-times". It is a difficult journey. One that we are told will get easier as time goes by. Course, right now it is hard to see "easy" in any thing. Rick's right hand/arm is still not cooperating with all that he needs to do and wants to do. Jeff (physical therapist) says that he is doing good - but it becomes harder to hold on to those words of encouragement the more that is obvious to needing done around here. I am still under restrictions due to the Uterine Cancer surgery. Not just a "simple" hysterectomy. It was ore extensive and invasive than most people realize or understand. Sigh. Also fighting the cough/congestion/crud that so many are fighting this winter so far. Having to be careful because of compromised immune systems. And not wanting to take what we have had and spread it around either. And the emotional/mental side of it all is one of struggle and frustration. We feel isolated from the world around us. Friends and families have their lives, their set of schedules and routines. Because of our limited mobility and time, we don't get to get out and about as much as we were doing before all this. Perhaps that will change as the seasons change from winter to spring, and as more time doing all this goes by. We find ourselves frustrated and discouraged with our bodies. A LOT! You don't expect to be early 50's and so "crippled" or as an "invalid" - yet, it feels like we are sometimes. (More than we would like to admit. Sadly.) You wonder if there will ever come a day that you actually look forward to again. You wonder if there will ever be a day that you feel good again. You question your sanity in the dark hours of the night. You would like to scream against the loneliness of the days - but then, who would hear? And you are too tired to scream if no one hears. Sigh. I fight against the worries and fears of twinges and pains. I have never had cancer before. So are these pains and twinges "normal" for my body? Or are they a signal to something being wrong? And although the prognosis was 95% cure after 5 years ... the 5% haunts and torments me. I find myself wondering how many days into those 5 years I am - and will the worries and fears some how magically lift off of me at that 5 year mark? If cancer has left my body - will it ever leave my mind? my life? We know that there are others going thru the same struggles as we are. And that there are those who are going thru even worse struggles. We see-saw back and forth between having compassion for all of them - and not wanting to acknowledge them. As humans we want to think that what we are dealing with is the worst, that nothing else compares with the heartache and depression we are facing. God has been so good and true to His promises thru all this past year, and as this new year begins. We acknowledge that. And we count our blessings - not as much as we should. Which we are trying to change. There is NO WAY we could make it thru all this without God's Presence in our lives, and His promises in our hearts and minds. Because it is the hardest journey we have ever taken - WITH Him! I am reading thru Isaiah - and claiming promises after promises!!! Also reading thru the devotional - "Jesus Calling ... Enjoying Peace in His Presence". I would recommend this devotional to everyone!!! It has changed my heart and my life. There are moments that we really are "ok" ... and then, the OTHER moments. 
 Dialysis training the week of December 17, 2012. Finished up on Thursday at the center. Friday was a home visit from the nurses to make sure that we knew what we are doing. We passed! Thank you God for helping us to learn and to do all this!!! Last Thursday was a check in at the Dialysis Center in Paris. Again, we passed! =) Thank you God for helping us so much!!! Rick has been struggling with a cold/cough/congestion/crud for a couple of weeks now. He has taken 2 rounds of Mucinex-D ... 2 bottles of Delsym cough syrup ... 1 round of antibiotics. And he is better - but still struggling. Thankfully, everything coming out of his head and chest is more white or clear in color. And no fevers. Now, if he can just breathe easier! Lord, please help him. We go back to the Dialysis Center this coming Monday, January 7. Another check in to see if we have picked up any bad habits with doing the exchanges ... blood work for the month to see how all his numbers are (praying that God will astound the doctors and nurses with these numbers! All better ... all good!!!) ... Rick is also having to take EPO shots every Thursday. A small vial of this is about $2000 - and one vial gives 2 shots. Lord, don't let me drop one! Help me to give these to Rick. O Lord!!! They are basically the hormone that the kidneys normally produce that goes to the bone marrow and tells the marrow to produce more red blood cells. He has taken 2 IV's of the iron again - his iron stores/saturation is not holding high enough to be without the iron IV at this point. And without a healthy level of iron - the EPO shots aren't as effective as they need to be. Dr. Greenwell increased Rick's blood pressure medication - from taking 2 tablets morning and night, to taking 2 tablets morning, noon and night. His blood pressure is still running a little too high - but so much better. We have another medication that he may have to start taking, but that will be Dr. Greenwell's call -if and when. --<<I want to say THANK YOU to the Paris Dialysis Center ... and to the PD nurses - Glenda, Misty, Autumn, and Lisa. Y'all are AWESOME!!! Thank you for your kindness, your understanding, your help! Thank you for your encouragement and your support. There are times that I have been overwhelmed and you seem to know those times. Thank you for the touch of support and kindness. Thank you for the words of peace. Thank you for telling me over and over again that you believe in me, in us. Thank you!!! You are all so precious to me!!! Love you ladies!!! 
 Ever feel so far behind that you will never catch up? Ever think about not even trying to catch up? Sigh. Yes, I need another cup of coffee!!! =) Working on the filing ... OMW!!! How did I get so far behind??? Cleaning out the files from all these years, retaining the last 3 ... and making new folders for the coming year. Today is to balance the checkbook and work on setting the budget for this year ... Lord, help us!!! You promised to meet our needs according to Your riches in glory thru Christ Jesus. Not according to our needs. Not according to what we have in the checkbook. But according to YOUR riches in glory thru Christ Jesus. THANK YOU!!! I have MUCH paperwork to go thru and organize ... MUCH reading and research needed ... trying to see into the darkness and figure out what we need and what we don't need. Lord, you know our lives. Help me thru all this - please.  Because of all this time at home for rest and recovery, Rick and I talked about it, prayed about it, and wrestled many days with it ... but, the installer is to be here this morning before noon and set TV service up. We realized that we have about exhausted the movie store since the end of July ... and we have watched and re-watched (and re-watched) our own movies. So, we have ordered Dish Network ... sigh. We read ... we talk ... we even play some games ... and we do what we can on the house ... but we end up with a lot of time on our hands ... and not a lot to occupy the minds. KWIM? We never realized how long the days can be - day after day spent at the house, with so little that we can do. Realizing now how easy it is for discouragement to set in and become depression. The loneliness is the hardest I think to deal with. Even tho Rick and I are together - we feel disconnected to the outside world. We pray that others will never know what we have known these last 6 months. Sigh.  We have spent some time these last few days looking back over 2012 ... thinking of all the blessings that God has given. Remembering His ways of taking care of us. Amazed all over again with His goodness and His love. There have been so many challenges to us this past year. Challenges that we still face and deal with. Lessons we are still trying to learn and to do. We know that God walks with us and will never leave us nor forsake us. We are holding to His promises. "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior ... you are precious and honored in my sigh ... and ... I love you." Isaiah 43 But we still hurt ... we are still afraid ... and we are still lonely. And God is still with us. =) Quieting us ... loving us ... singing over us ... Thank you God!!!  The next few days will be spent working intently on getting order into our lives. Lord, help me!!! Please. I know that God has a purpose and a plan for our lives - Jeremiah 29:11 ... sometimes I wish that He would just fold the curtains back a little and give us a glimpse of what He wants to do with us. Lord, help us to LIVE and not die ... and to LIVE as unto You. Thank you Je 
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So why "Scattered Feathers" ? ? ?You can read it here 
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God is God over the storms in my life & world -
and I am His. Trusting in Him. Holding to His Promises as He holds me. Learning to laugh, to love, & to live ... again - without Rick, but with God Life goes on ... even when we don't want it to. Great grief is indicative of a great Love. Rick, my Sweetheart. Margaret, his Beloved. Always & Forever. |
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