 A blessing worth sharing -- (shared on Facebook Christmas Eve) --Wow. Just WOW. God is good. All the time. I don't always understand Him or His ways - like when He waits until the wolves of despair have already come in the door and are near attacking us. But then, when He arises and fends them off - HE does it in a mighty way!!! Praise Him for His love and care and provisions!!! *Yesterday morning we took stock of our groceries ... no meat in the house, used the last of the bread, no milk, no cheese, leftover chicken stew was going to have to last until after Christmas. *Rick went to the post office over in Como, there was a Christmas card. No return address, and when we opened it, it was not signed. But there was a $100 bill in the card!!! We looked at each other and immediately began to praise the Lord, and haven't stopped! ... We went to town and bought a handful of groceries. Rick will now have ham (protein) for Christmas with a broccoli and rice casserole (also protein) and corn . *Just as we were leaving to go to town, Uncle Bill came with a box of groceries Praise the Lord!!! *Then after we got back, my brother, Billy, came by and brought us a Christmas card. We were praising the Lord with him about God providing, and he took his billfold out, handed us a check for $100!!! Praise the Lord again!!! *This morning, i took some of the chicken stew up to Rick's dad and mom. His dad is sick with the crud. I was telling them about God providing so well for us ... Rick's dad took his phone out, told me to call The Propane Company and order 100 gallons to be delivered today, Rick's mom wrote the check. Praise the Lord!!! I can wash my hands in hot water today! I don't have to heat water for the dishes! And we can each have a shower!!! Praise the Lord!!! *And to top it off ... Rick called work to see when he could pick up his check, thinking it would be Thursday -- it was ready TODAY!!! Yes, God is good ... and He is always on time, no matter what i think! LOL 
 Christmas Day was a quiet day for us. Even after all these years since the kids have moved on and out - we still have not found our way. Sad, but true. We have spent some of these Christmases with our kids and grandkids. We have spent a couple with Rick's dad and mom. We have even spent a few just Rick and me. We always made Christmas Day to be so much about the kids - yes, celebrating the birth of Jesus, right down to having balloons, streamers, a cake, singing Happy Birthday to Him - but even that was to teach the kids that Christmas was not about getting, but about giving. I told Rick this year that it seems like when the kids moved out, they took Christmas with them. I wonder if that is a normal reaction to the empty nest? Or maybe a normal reaction to a Christmas Day at the end of a very difficult and hard year? Anyway - we enjoyed our dinner, watched an old movie, Splash! ... and then Mandy came over with the kids. We talked and laughed and snacked. Laughed at Mandy and Cheri` - Cheri`, i do believe, is firmly convinced that Mandy belongs to HER!!! LOL 
 One of the hardest things (physically) for me to do is to feed the fires. Rick has always been the one to get up during the night and add wood to the fire so that the house is warm thru the night and first thing in the mornings. And in this old & drafty house? You need a fire in the mornings even when the outside temp is just in the 40's. This house holds the cold!!! Course, we are trying to keep Rick from getting sick, too. So, trying hard to keep the temp in here between 72* - 78*. Rick's dad and mom bought us a cord of wood - Thank you again!!! And it burns good. But, it doesn't play well at first. And it is cut so long and thick, that in our fireplace, you add one piece at a time. So, quite literally, i am baby-ing the fireplace this year. Every 2 hours it must be fed. Rick has always been the kind that he can get up, walk thru the house, check on the kids when they were little, feed the fire when needed, whatever - and go back to bed, going back to sleep almost as soon as his head touched the pillow. Me? I get up during the night, i am up for the night. Sigh. And now that Rick is on the cycler at night, all night, for dialysis - I am responsible to feed the fire and keep the house warm. So, guess what? Not sleeping much at all. On a good night, i will sleep 3 or 4 hours. And most of those are sitting in my chair. Sigh. (Not meaning to sound like i am whining or complaining - just stating one of the hard facts of this "new normal" for us.) I hope that the next cord of wood we get is smaller. Yes, i am complaining now. This wood is so heavy!!! I can barely pick one piece up at a time. Some of the sticks do not quite fit into the fireplace, so i have to wrangle them around and shove hard until i can get them far enough in to close the doors. Needless to say, i am sore and aching and hurting. Muscles are stretched and pulled. After being so down for the first year after surgery? Yes, this hurts!!! And having to be as careful as i can, yet keep the fires burning ... because my oncologist has said that it will probably take a full 36 months to let everything settle down and completely heal. He has told me not to pick up anything heavy. Not to do a lot of lifting and pulling. But, a girl's gotta do what must be done. Praying with every stick of wood added - Lord, help me. Lord, protect the surgery done. 
 I have decided that with the Lord's help, this year of 2014 will be the year that i lose this extra weight and get in better shape. We have been blessed with a treadmill and an elliptical - so i look at them this morning and know that it is time to USE them in earnest. I have fought being overweight and out of shape all of my life - literally. I have yo-yo'ed and i don't want to do that anymore. I want to lose this weight and get in better shape. So, i have added a page to the website here -- "Hope ... Breathe ..." It will be found under the tab "Standing on the Promises". This will be a walk with me in this journey. Please, even if you don't read it, pray for me in this. Thank you!!! I fought myself long and hard before i added this page. It's hard to admit when you are so much overweight, and so far out of shape. It's hard to imagine that you will ever feel better. And it is so much easier to not share the struggle. But the more i tried to not share it, the stronger the conviction became that i was supposed to. So, with sorrow, with a fair amount of shame, and with not understanding the prompting of the Lord ... here goes. Honest to a fault. Lord, help me!!! 
 2013 is winding down ... ...El & Brooke will be in and out today and tomorrow as Mandy works. ...Sunday is the Walker Christmas dinner at the Pickton Community Center. ...Tuesday is New Year's Eve. Traditionally "Momma's Day" - it has been a day when everyone gathered in at our house for a time of laughter and love, games and food, exchanging Christmas gifts, and welcoming the New Year. But this year? We are not really "house-bound", but yet in a way - due to the truck needing work before driving it very much, due to lack of money for fuel, and in dealing with the nightly dialysis treatments. We have been blessed with the money to buy a few groceries, but not with enough to "do New Year's Eve". Mandy may or may not have plans for the evening. Joshua is 5 hours away, and with work - not feasible to drive such a distance for one evening. I do understand all that ... but at the same time, it makes me sad. The lonelies are howling at the door of my heart. The weariness threatens to overtake me. I know that Greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world. God's greatness is ALL that sustains me. I love my kids and grandkids - adore them actually. And i miss the togetherness of us all. ...i will be busy in these next few days getting all the required papers together for Rick so that we can file for disability on next Friday. Pray for us - that we will know God's grace and mercy, that we will find favor with the Social Security Board. **Praying that you and yours will be blessed beyond what you can contain in this coming year. May the Lord crown you with joy and peace, with every blessing. And God Bless us everyone ...** 
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 A couple of updates first -- *Dr James said that the "spot" on Brooke's leg was a wart. He froze it, saying that in 3-4 days it would come off. I told Brooke - "See, Grannee has been telling you that you were a wart!" LOL She looked at me and said, "GRANNEE!!!" Dr James laughed, and Brooke calmed down at the thought of having her leg frozen! LOL *Elijah has an upper respiratory infection. Was given antibiotics. *Shell is feeling better. He was able to go to school on Friday. *Kyla ... well, she is just Kyla! Goodness! Her daddy and momma have their hands full with her! LOL I have been walking on the treadmill and using the elliptical. I did 15 minutes yesterday on the treadmill @ 1.3 miles per hour. So many others can do more minutes and at a faster speed ... but in the words of my daughter - "Momma, anytime you walk on it, no matter what speed, or for how long, you are lapping everyone on the couch!" Those 15 minutes were not so hard to do ... i was still able to talk and breathe. LOL And I did 1 1/2 minutes on the elliptical - OMW!!! I know some will laugh at me at doing only 1 1/2 minutes, But then again - better than none. At least now, i am able to breathe after those 90 seconds!!! When i first started a week ago, i couldn't breathe at all! :-) ... 
 This is Christmas week ... and i find myself in a melancholy mood ... yes, i have hope ... but i also have the "oofies" ... This is not the way i wanted Christmas to be this year. I wanted a big tree, with lots of presents under it. I wanted my kids and grandkids filling the house and the hours. Hugs and laughter and love. Food to cook and to eat. Instead, we have the smallest of trees. No presents at all under it. For no money in the wallet to spend. Kids and grandkids are not going to be here. There is little to no food to cook, again, no money to buy. But, that's all ok ... Rick and I will get thru this week of Christmas, together. Trusting the Lord no matter what is in the checkbook or refrigerator. "Though the fig tree does not bud and there are grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer and he enables me to go on the heights." Habakkuk 3:17-19 Not to say that we won't be oofie and sad, not to say that we will be all cheery and merry ... but we will rejoice in the Lord and in all His benefits to us. We know that the God of angel armies is always by our side, leading us, protecting us, and providing for us. We don't always understand His ways, but we do trust Him - or at least, we are learning to. 
 The sadness is also because i am missing some people awful!!! Those who have gone on to the Lord. I am not sad for them - they are with the Lord, but sad for me, for us. We just miss them so much right now!!! Momma - i miss you. i long to hear your voice again. a thousand times in these years since you left i have picked up the phone, looked at your number, hovered over the call button ... and cried. I love you Momma. i want to see you, touch you. i want to smell you - a mixture of lysol and WD-40 ... and anyone who knows you, understands that smell! i don't want to fix your pecan pie, or buttermilk pie. i want YOU to fix them. i want to eat at your table. sit there and drink coffee with you. laugh at the way you say certain words. kiss you on the forehead. feel your arms around me. Oh Momma - i miss you. 
 Granny McCoy - i miss you, too. You loved me and accepted me as your very own. so many times you introduced me as your granddaughter, which confused those who didn't know me. LOL i miss your love and attentions. i miss your hugs. i think about your smell - a mixture of ben-gay and mentholatum. i want you to fix a chocolate pie - we have yet to find one that really comes close! how did you make your yeast rolls taste the way they did? no recipe does it right. Granny, I love you - i hope you know how much. You made a girl who had had no grandparents have a Granny - and i love you! 
 Ric Childs -- O Bubba!!! How much i miss you. I want to hear your voice as you say, "Hey there baby girl!" To feel your arms around me, hugging the very breath out of me! You always made me feel special and important. Treasured to your heart. I love you for that. You accepted me as your sister. I think about you so much. I miss you more. 
 Dennis Friestad -- i know that you came into our life as a rep for one of the companies that Rick sold supplies for. But you quickly became our friend, and brother. i love you. i miss you. I remember when you were going to show me how you could squeeze an egg without it breaking ... and it broke - all over you, me and the floor! LOL OMW!!! The look on your face was absolutely priceless!!! I love you brother and friend. I miss you!!! Wish the phone would ring and when i picked it up you would be there saying, "Hey lady! it's me, Dennis!" Like i wouldn't know your voice!!! i love you! 
 Marjorie Mayfield ... Lady, do you know how much i loved you? how much i miss you? how many tears i have cried these months without you? You made me feel so welcome and such a part of Double N Cowboy Church - from the first time we were there. You made me laugh with our passion for flip-flops, regardless of what others had to say! LOL And the day you came over to the house bearing gifts from the heart, the first one being a dozen of eggs - a direct answer to prayer. :-) ... that morning we sat there and talked and shared ... i treasure that morning as one of the best of my life. I love you Lady! and i miss you so much!!! 
 Debbie Eppars ... Oh my friend, my sister. I love you. I miss you. I find myself looking for you still on Facebook every day. i want to hear what you are doing, what you are cooking for supper. i want to share ideas and recipes. i want to laugh with you, and cry with you. to know that you are praying for us. Oh and your hugs were so good, from the heart. I love you so much!!! I miss you more!!! 
 And there are so many more ... those who have gone years ago -- Aunt Ola, Aunt Ollie, Uncle Ray, Uncle Toyce, Uncle Art, Uncle Rex, Aunt Lois, Granny Gayle, Grandpa McCoy, Granny Walker, and the list goes on .... Yes, i am more than a little oofie and weepy this week ... loving these, missing them. Memories flood the mind and heart. Seems there is something - a word, a song, a movie, a food, a drink, a smell ... something that makes me think of someone and miss them even more than on every other day of the year. Precious Memories ... Gone but NEVER forgotten!!! 
 Good morning and God bless each one that reads this. I pray for you and for yours. *For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know Him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which He has called you, the riches of His glorious inheritance in the saints, and His incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of His might strength.* Ephesians 1:15-19 God is good, even when life isn't. Thank God that we serve God, not this life. Thank God that HE is greater than anything within us, He is greater than anything around us. He is Greater! And He is the same God yesterday, today and forever! His arm is not shortened, His hand is not weakened. He is the Same GOD!!! Thank you Father!!! 
 We did go to the Dialysis center last Wednesday. Rick got an IV of iron, blood was drawn, and we saw the doctor. Dr Greenwell is well pleased with Rick and with all his numbers. :-) ... Thank you Lord. The only "issue" is that he has gained some weight, that is not fluid. And that his blood sugars are running a little high - which is most likely due to the increase of weight and lack of exercise. Dr Greenwell encouraged Rick to get up and do something, find something that he is passionate about and DO IT. :-) And on that note ... I put a request on Facebook the last of the week asking if anyone had a reasonable priced treadmill. There were many responses, however - the prices were ranging from $100 - $250 ... which if you compare those prices to the new prices? They were very reasonable. But if you compare those prices to our checkbook? Still so far out there i couldn't afford any of them. So, i continued to pray - asking God to intervene. And intervene HE DID!!! I received a message from Shanny, she had a treadmill for sale. I asked her how much, and she said that since this was Christmas and Christmas is all about the spirit of giving - how about the cost of fuel to come get it! WOW!!! And then, before we could make arrangements to go get it, a cousin, Bret, said that he would go get it for us. WOW!!! He is so sweet and precious! Love that boy! :-) So, we are the proud but humble owners of a treadmill!!! :-) ... and yes, i have been using it!!! We put it in the living room, front and center to our lives - i didn't want to put it off in the back bedroom, even if there was more room back there. I wanted it as a stark reminder that we need to USE IT!!! We also had a knock on the door here that same morning, and in going to the door - it was Uncle Bill. He asked if we were still looking for "one of those exercise things" LOL ... Rick went with him to see what he was talking about ... and they came home with an Elliptical machine!!! 
 I went to the doctor on Thursday last week. My labs are good. A slight decrease in kidney function - according to the lab report. Dr Eric put me on a new medication for my legs - he said it would stimulate circulation. I have been on the medication now for almost a week, and my legs are feeling better. Still swelling and still hurting, but ... a bit better. :-) Not stopping me from using the new machines! :-) We had MeMe's Christmas dinner here last Sunday night ... Jimmy & Mary Lou, Dave & Shirley, David & Tina, Valerie with daughter Claudia, Chris & Sarah with Donovan and Ashton, Greg & Haley, Mandy with Elijah and Brooklyn. And food and food and food!!! :-) Ham, corn on the cob, potato salad, coleslaw, macaroni salad, 2 kinds of chicken casserole, corn, breads, tea, and desserts - OH MY!!! :-) A lot of laughs and hugs ... talking about memories and missing Granny McCoy ... :-) 
 Pray for our granddaughter, Brooke. She has a "spot" on her lower leg. Looks almost like a mole? or a small growth of some kind? - appears to be changing shapes, but is it because she won't leave it alone? Anyway, we are taking her to the doctor to have it checked out in the morning. Praying that God will intervene and heal her no matter what it is! This week is quiet comparably. No doctor appointmetns for us. We have started the process of applying for Rick's disability. First appointment with Social Security is on January 3. We have heard the horror stories of applying for disability. But then, the social worker at the dialysis center assures us that because of the dialysis it changes everything. Guess we will see. I am missing my son and daughter in love, and missing my grandson and granddaughter. It seems like forever since we have been out there!!! It has only been almost 2 months, but to me? That is forever!!! I miss them so much that i feel overwhelmed with sadness at times. I love my son and his family. I just am missing them. Spending time on the website and working on some computer stuff ... but also trying to rest some ... Trusting the Lord for all that we need ... God bless you and yours!!! 
 Let me start by saying how much i appreciate those that read this blog. It means a lot to me, more than i can ever say in these words. It is an encouragement to me to see the numbers of page views. This blog & website is my therapy. As well as the way we have chosen to stay in touch with so many concerning all that we are going thru. Thank you ... And i thank God for providing this medium to me. I had had websites before, but they were so overwhelming to this East Texas girl, that they didn't last very long. This one tho is such a simple format to use - and Lord knows i need something simple in my life right now! LOL God is teaching me some things ... i haven't gotten good at learning them yet. But i thank Him for His patience and longsuffering. I will be sharing some of those things on the various pages of this website. If you haven't already, check out the tabs at the top of the page. There are many pages to this website - and all of them are different. I am trying to add to each page. Been spending some of this bad weather time working on the website. :-) 
 And then, my heart is sad and broken tonight. Again. Just for the record - I HATE CANCER!!!!! A precious friend and sister in the Lord, as well as our cousin - Debbie Griner Eppars - won her battle with cancer Monday evening. Yes, she won - and won it all!!! She is now with her Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. She waits for us in Heaven, and she rejoices with her Daddy, with her son, and with all those that have gone before her. I have lost, for a moment only tho. Even tho my heart breaks, and my spirit feels crushed. I know that one day i will join her there and we will walk the streets of gold together. I am just sad tonight tho - i miss her talks, i miss her smiles, i miss her love, and i miss her hugs. I love you my Sister, my Friend. I miss you!!! Debbie Griner Eppars ... i love you. 
 We finally got back from Tyler ... and the results are -- Rick showed good effort (95%) at doing the functionality test. But, just as his physical therapist here told us - he failed. So we were not surprised. He is rated at an average of "20" - which translated means that he is only able to do "light work, and some extreme light work". His job at Ballard drivers is considered "Medium-Heavy". He talked with the office lady and she said that this means he will NOT be returning to work. He has a few more weeks (possible) of insurance pay (which is 40% of what his salary was). And then? We will be talking to a social worker in the next few days, as well as Social Security disability. Not sure what he is eligible for and what he isn't. This is not a surprise to us ... but even having mentally expected it, it is totally different when it becomes a reality with the doctor telling you this, and then you hold the paper in your hands and read this report with your name on it. No, the afternoon and evening was NOT a good time for us. We cried, we battled discouragement and depression, we argued, we said some things that were only said out of frustration and weariness. We calmed down, we prayed. We are trusting in the Lord - we are just battle weary and feeling worn out in all of this. Please keep us in your prayers as we pray and seek God's wisdom and guidance as to what to do now ... and how. Thank you -- 
 We are going to the dialysis center in just a little less than 12 hours. It is Rick's regular check-up with the nurses and Dr Greenwell. Time for blood to be drawn and labs checked. Praying for a good report, and an encouraging visit - Lord knows we could use it this week!!! On Thursday afternoon, we go to my doctor in SS. I had blood drawn last Wednesday, so we will see what those lab reports are this time. See if there is to be a change in medication. Speaking of having my blood drawn - three months ago when i had it drawn, my arm was sore for about 24 hours. Unusual, but it got better and so i didn't think much of it. This last Wednesday, however, was a different story. Blood was drawn on Wednesday, and my arm was sore into Friday morning. By Friday afternoon late, it was swollen - obviously swollen. Below the elbow - which blood was drawn in the bend of the arm. It is not red, nor red-streaked. It is not hot to the touch, either. It IS painful, sore and swollen. Got thru the weekend, and went by the doctor's office on Monday. Kara, my nurse, looked at it - then she talked to the doctor. It doesn't appear to be a blown vein, there is no major discoloration, and it wouldn't have lasted this long. it doesn't appear to be a blood clot, because it isn't red or hot. What could it be? Either she hit a nerve and caused some major inflammation, or she actually nicked a tendon in there. Either way, it will just take some time for it to go down and get better. Take ibuprofen and Tylenol alternating. Use warm compresses. Don't do a lot with the arm, but don't let it freeze up either. If it isn't better by Thursday afternoon, he will take another look at it, and ??? 
 By the way - this site has been set up for us as a possible way of raising some funds to help us thru all this in our life right now. Money isn't everything, it won't buy the most precious things of life. But sadly, money is a necessity to live this life. I hesitated in allowing this to be done, and i hesitated even more in sharing it. But on the advice of several, and after much thought, many prayers, and all the wrestling with myself -- here is the link to "A little goes a long way". Guess i had better get off here .. it is 3:27 a.m. - and time to go baby the fires. Seems like they really are babies right now - having to get up and feed them every 2 hours while it is so cold. Any time the outside temp is below 32* and with a north wind? This old house is cold, and makes it easy to know just where all the cracks are! Takes a lot more wood and effort to keep the fires fed. Rick cannot do it at night. He is hooked to the cycler for 8 1/2 hours each night. So, handling wood or being too near a hot fire? Out of the question. He gets the job during the day - and i get to rest some. :-) ... Good night ... or good morning - depending on how your night has been. God bless you and yours. Love you - and thank you again for reading. 
 i am so thankful, and humbled by God's amazing grace, by His longsuffering with me. God has been speaking a word to me these last few weeks, and true to my stubbornness, i have not been listening very well. i have been hearing His voice. But there is a difference in hearing and in listening. Listening implies obedience. And sadly, obedience to the Lord has not been my strong point lately - at least not in this. How easy it is to cross the line from sharing the burden of our hearts with one another & expressing our needs to grumbling and complaining. (One guess to where this is going ... sigh.) Well, i have taken the easy way. With the defense of sharing our burdens, letting others know our needs, asking for prayer - and all sounding so "right" to my own ears ... i have fallen to this grumbling and complaining. The Lord got on to me a few days ago and i have been trying hard to do better, to be better - in my personal time, when with others, on Facebook, and even here. He spoke a Word to me a few days ago - Romans 14:22 ... "So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God." That's a hard word -- because misery loves company. No one wants to go thru the lonesome valley alone. i am sorry. i ask you to forgive me. i thought about going back in my blog and removing those posts that sound so grumbling - but then, i don't think i will ... it is a stark reminder to me. i have gone back and looked at them, and i am much ashamed. i know better. i just didn't do better. i am sorry. please, forgive me.  i am not saying that i will never again share the bad times of our lives - i will. That was a promise i made in the beginning of all this - that i would share the good days and the bad. That we would be honest and straightforward, hiding nothing. But my heart's desire and intention is to never cross that line again into grumbling and complaining. Pray for me. Pray with me. Confirmation of truly hearing this from God was given to me this morning as i read my devotional -- Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. (If you don't have a copy of this devotional - i would strongly suggest that you go get one! If i had the ability to do so, i would buy a copy and give it to everyone that i know, that i meet. It is that good!!! If you want to sit at the feet of Jesus ... this is a good way to learn that.)  (i need to assume the liberty of sharing this as it is written --) "You have been on a long, uphill journey, and your energy is almost spent. Though you have faltered at times, you have not let go of My hand. I am pleased with your desire to stay close to Me. There is one thing, however, that displeases Me: your tendency to complain. You may talk to Me as much a s you like about the difficulty of the path we are following. I understand better than anyone else the stresses and strains that have afflicted you. You can ventilate safely to Me, because talking with Me tempers your thoughts and helps you see things from My perspective. Complaining to others is another matter altogether. It opens the door to deadly sins such as self-pity and rage. Whenever you are tempted to grumble, come to Me and talk it out. As you open up to Me, I will put My thoughts in your mind and My song in your heart." There is no way that could have been more clear! **Father God, i am sorry. Thank you for your conviction without condemnation. Thank you for correcting me so tenderly, in love, tempered with your amazing grace. i repent. Teach me how to share burdens and prayer requests, how to be honest about the bad days and the needs - without grumbling and complaining. Teach me how to lean on Your strength to get thru it all. Teach me how to trust in you with all my heart, leaning not on my own understanding, in all my ways acknowledging you. And open my eyes so that i can see when you direct my paths and make them straight. Help me to shut up, giving Jesus time to pray for me. And when all i can do is breathe? Well, help me to just breathe in and breathe out. O Father! Thank you for loving me. for choosing me. for calling me by Your Name. for paying the ransom and redeeming me. And thank you that you still do this ... I love you. in Jesus' Name ... 
 It is cold here this morning - but sounds like this will be HOT comparing it to the forecast over the next 5 days ... ICE, FREEZING RAIN, SLEET, SNOW ... temps barely to freezing, and down to 10 ... wind chills around 0 ... Yes, welcome to winter in East Texas! God was good to us this week - Rick's dad and mom felt led to buy us a cord of wood, said it is a combined Rick's birthday gift, and our Christmas. :-) That's good to us!!! The ice may come, the electricity may go ... but the fires will burn on!!! :-) Thank you God for providing our needs. Help us to be thankful with each stick of wood that we get to add to the fires over the next several days.  We were blessed this past Sunday night to get to see "Frozen". OMW! It has been a long time since I laughed so hard. I love the snowman! He is the STAR of the show!!! We were impressed with the presentation of the movie, the special effects, and especially the message of the movie - LOVE can melt a frozen heart. So true. How much better our world would be if we would LOVE one another instead of being angry, instead of holding grudges, instead of walking in our assumptions. LOVE...LOVE...LOVE. God has loved us first - we ought to love one another.  I went to the doctor this past Monday. I have a severe & acute sinus infection. (I don't think it is very "cute" - but whatever!) There is a "good amount" of fluid in my right ear. (again, not thinking it is "good" - but ok.) I have a cough that is irritating and frustrating. But the lungs don't sound congested - which is good. Got my orders for blood work - went yesterday morning for that draw. 4 vials - ouch! I will return to the doctor next Thursday for the readings, and to see if he is going to change my medications at all. While Rick has been doing physical therapy, I have been walking on the treadmill. Yesterday I walked for 30 minutes @ 1.7 mph - and my heart rate was up to 120! I wasn't breathing hard, nor was it hard to talk. I was proud of myself! :-) ... Dr said he was proud of me, too :-).  Rick and i brought in 4 loads of wood yesterday afternoon (red wagon loads). The laundry is done - just need to put it all away this morning. There is a refrigerator of food leftovers and sandwich stuff. We are going to hunker down and watch the weather out the window. :-) We ain't skeered! LOL ... but we are PRAYING for all those that must be out in it. Beginning with our son and daughter! Today is my youngest granddaughter's birthday. Kyla Rose McCoy. She is my punkin tater. She makes me laugh. She hugs me and decorates me. It has been said since she was born that Grannee is her favorite toy. :-) And that is just fine with me. I love Kyla!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEETHEART!!! GRANNEE LOVES YOU SO MUCH!!! Rick bought me a Christmas tree yesterday. Just a small one. Says it is a "living tree". I set it on the bookshelf yesterday afternoon, and decorated it and around it. Not big - but pretty. Still looking for a topper for it - Rick said that we would check at the Dollar Store. Wal-mart's didn't have anything that wouldn't have overwhelmed the little tree. Well ... guess it's time for COFFEE ... and to see what else I can do ... Love you all!!! Thank you for reading!!! 
 Ever feel like this little bird? This picture really is worth a thousand words as to how we are! LOL ... We have been going to physical therapy on Rick's shoulder now every other day since November 15. Started out being 2 hours each time, and then moved up to being 4 hours each time. He is not able to do all the exercises required. Thankfully, Jeff and Heather aren't pushing him hard - they know that the nerve is either dead or damaged, and that he just is not able to do it all. Rick has been doing a lot of the over-all body exercises. And he has felt better - well, except for the sore muscles and tiredness that comes from months of inactivity and then working out. This week coming finishes up the physical therapy, and then we go to Tyler for a functionality test with an impairment rating. Afterwards we will see Dr Devinney, and I am assuming Dr Cutrell - if it is time for Rick to be turned loose from it all. Jeff feels confident in saying that Rick will fail these tests and will need to be on disability because of the shoulder. But what will the doctors say? What about the insurance company thru work? And what will work say? Sigh. Hopefully, in this month we will be getting some answers. And truth be told? We are ready!!! Tired of this limbo life. Sigh.  I have been walking on the treadmill during the time that Rick has been doing physical therapy. Considering that i had never walked on one before, i think i am doing pretty good. Friday i walked for 30 minutes at a speed of 1.5 miles per hour - and didn't get winded!!! Yeah for me!!! At least i am doing better than sitting in a chair or on a couch! ;) I want to continue with some light exercises and walking - whether i buy a membership at a gym, nor just do it on my own. I am so tired of being overweight and out of shape! I know that i will never have the body shape and health that i had at 18 years old, but goodness! I am not asking for that! I only want to be a better 52 year old wife, momma and grannee!!!  God has been working on my heart and my spirit lately. He used the month of Thanksgiving on Facebook to teach me a valuable lesson. *There is ALWAYS something to be thankful for!* And whatever that something is - be thankful! Find that something and focus on that something! Thru the long and dark days and nights of storms and trials - focus on being thankful. There were times and days in November that being thankful was one of the farthest things from my thoughts, and certainly farthest from my emotions. But, i was being faithful to the commitment i had made to find at least one thing each day to be thankful for. And i Praise God that He encouraged me and helped me thru that. I have decided that i didn't get enough, either! So, i have a new page on here - "Thank You" --still working on it, have added many "thank you's", but not finished with any of them yet. I will be working on this website more this week - i have some thoughts and ideas. I have been praying a lot about this lately. Asking the Lord to show me what HE wants to do with this. Is it just for my therapy? Or is there truly a ministry of some kind in it? I am also going to do some "winter cleaning" here at the house. I am still restricted on some of what i can do - and so i am not going to be "radical" in what i do, but i am so tired of looking at the clutter, not even being able to find some things. Enough is Enough!!!  We had Thanksgiving dinner here at the house - with Rick's parents, Jimmy & Mary Lou, with his sister, Tina, her daughter, Haley, Tina's son and his family, Aaron, Crystal, Sumer, Kayleigh, our daughter, Angel, and 2 of our grandkids, Elijah and Brooke. It was a LOT of food - still leftovers in the frig!!! And there was a lot of laughter, as well as many hugs. Next Sunday is the Christmas dinner for Rick's mom's side of the family. Looking forward to seeing them, and looking forward to the food, too. LOL ((What a time for me to choose to begin - really begin - a weight loss program, huh? LOL I'm thinking if i make it thru this holiday season losing weight, then i'm good to go for the new year!!! LOL)) We are going in about an hour to the movies with our daughter and granddaughter. Get to see "Frozen" - we have heard mixed reviews. Just getting out of the house and time with them - that's priceless to me, regardless of the movie! --Lord, bless us all INDEED!!!!! Enlarge our territories. Keep your hand on us. Keep us from evil and from temptation - that we won't cause pain or harm. Yes, Lord, bless us INDEED!!!!! Thank you!!!-- 
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So why "Scattered Feathers" ? ? ?You can read it here 
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Website designed & developed by Margaret McCoy
God is God over the storms in my life & world -
and I am His. Trusting in Him. Holding to His Promises as He holds me. Learning to laugh, to love, & to live ... again - without Rick, but with God Life goes on ... even when we don't want it to. Great grief is indicative of a great Love. Rick, my Sweetheart. Margaret, his Beloved. Always & Forever. |
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