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I had an appointment with Dr. Tris yesterday afternoon. It was bittersweet. Dr. Tris has been my GYN for over 30 years. We were both near tears yesterday afternoon. Sigh. I was laying on the table when he came in. He examined the incision. Said it looked very good. He was well pleased with the way it is healing. :-) Then, he just stood there. Patted my leg over and over. Looked at me. His eyes misted over. And he began to apologize for not being able to do the hysterectomy himself. He said he was so glad that we were able to get into MD Anderson as quickly as we did, and that they were able to do the surgery as good as they did. He said that had we waited much longer, with the aggressiveness of the cancer, that in less than 6 months it would have been spread over my body, and it would have been too late. That it would have been a horrible death. So, he was very happy that it didn't turn out like that! :-) We agreed!!! Dr. Tris did not stay long after that. He is so tender hearted. He left us with Linda to finish the conversation and be released. Released not just from this, but because Dr. Michael removed everything, then, released for good. We love Dr. Tris. He has done us so good all these years!!! I return to MD Anderson in 2 weeks to meet with my oncologist, Dr. Michael Frumovitz. 
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 On a cold October morning, around 3 a.m. -- Hubby is awake. Grouchy and grumpy. Not just because of the pain in his shoulder - which is more than enough reason and cause for grouchiness and grumpiness. But on this morning, being grouchy and grumpy has more to do with one of his worst enemies. The housefly. His daddy built a fire in the living room fireplace yesterday that was so hot we had to open doors and windows to allow some of the heat to escape before we could stand to go to bed. (Which, our "beds" are in the living room right now - due to surgeries - a recliner for Rick, and a lift chair recliner for me.) As the day became evening, the flies began to congregate on the front porch. Soon finding an open space at the door. They decided to come into the house and "explore". Now, you need to understand. Just about everyone we know dislikes flies. A few people can tolerate them to a degree because of the life's work they have - dairymen, ranchers and such. A few people hate them with such force that they will swat anything that even remotely looks like a fly. My husband is neither. He not only dislikes them, and he not only hates them with a passion - but he DETESTS them. It has become one of his missions in life - HUNT the fly down and KILL it! Take no prisoners. No quarter given. There is no ounce of compassion in him towards a fly. He has no toleration for them at all. I have seen this man kill flies and gather their carcasses together into a pile on the floor - as a witness and a testimony to the other flies that this is what will happen to you if you come anywhere near him! He has used a flyswatter, a rolled up newspaper, a shoe, a book, his bare hands, a water pistol, a BB gun, whatever is available - anything will do as long as the flies DIE!!! So, last evening ... before we called it a night and went to bed - our daughter came down to check on us. She got drafted to help in the HUNT. She and her daddy took turns with the flyswatter all thru the house. To the tune of "I know we have more than one flyswatter in this house!" (Honestly, I have no idea where the flyswatters have disappeared to - unless a group of "smart" flies confiscated them thinking it would make them safe.) When no more flies could be seen, Mandy went home ... and we finished a movie, then called it a night. Pain meds ... ice pack in place ... settle in the chairs ... full recline position ... and off to sleep. The flies come out. Decide to walk on us - just enough to irritate our sleep and rest. Finally, 3 a.m. Rick can stand it no longer! He has been irritated enough! He has swatted at them so much that his shoulder is now aching. Pain meds later ... and with all the lights on ... the HUNT begins. Find one ... swat with the left hand ... sometimes hit ... sometimes miss. Words of victory - "Got ya'!" or words of aggravation - "I can't ever do anything with my left hand!" Over and over ... I am so tired and sleepy I can barely keep my eyes open ... but by the end of this HUNT - I am fully awake ... sigh. Either Rick got tired and weary, or the pain meds kicked in ... or the flies decided to find a better hiding spot (or maybe a way out of this crazy house) ... anyway - Rick laid the flyswatter down, and settled back into his recliner around 4:30 a.m. How many did he kill? I don't know. Call him and ask! LOL The man and his HUNT ... sigh. Fine - but really? At 3 a.m.??? God, love this man you have give unto me!!! Please - do something with him! :-) 
 This has been a WEEK!!! Goodness, has it really only been a week??? So hard not to over-do myself in the midst of all this. I am thankful to Rick's parents - they have helped with the cleaning, the laundry, keeping the dishes washed. Even helping with the meals. Rick's dad had Chris, Mandy, Elijah, and Brooklyn all out side the other day getting the dead tree in the back yard cut up, split, and stacked. May not be the best wood - but it's wood!!! I haven't been much on the computer this first week. Hardly on Facebook at all ... just to check in once a day ... and not on the website except for the surgery update a couple of days ago. I apologize to those that read this. Sigh. Rick is struggling with the whole sling and pillow existence. He doesn't like to be restricted in his movements ... and this is major restriction! It being his right hand (which he is right-handed) doesn't help matters any either. Sigh. Add to it that he tends to be an "all or nothing" kind of guy - either he can do everything, or he can do nothing. God, love him! (Do something with him! LOL)   In the midst of it all, I find myself feeling very alone, very lonely, very insecure and very afraid at times. Unsure of just about everything. This is all such new territory for both of us. Never in our marriage have we both been down - not this long. Honestly? Neither of us have ever been down this long - much less both of us at the same time. So, not only are our limitations challenging to us ... but just the day to day living is a challenge! We each have specific challenges. We are struggling to see the challenges as something to be creative and to conquer. But often so far, the challenges become the conqueror not the conquest! Sigh. Certain articles of clothing that we cannot do - which leads to a choice of laughter or humiliation - underwear, socks, for Rick it is even pants and a shirt. Brushing our teeth - trying to put toothpaste on with one hand only (Rick) or dealing with the severe bleeding (Margaret - because of the Lovenox shots). Even just fixing a meal. OMW!!! That seems to be some of the most challenging times we have faced yet! I cannot stand to cook, cannot bend over to get anything out of the frig or the cabinet. Rick has one hand. So, we are learning to really work together!!! LOL You should see us getting a pan of cornbread out of the oven! LOL Trying to juggle the pain meds so that our pains are under control, but we are not knocked on our butts 24/7. We want to be awake, alert, aware. At least to some degree! And so far, we have both had spikes in pain - but not a sustained number above 5 for very long at all. Praise the Lord!!! Taking a shower is more than just a "hop in and bathe, then hop out and get dressed" affair!!! We have managed to get it down to just Rick and me helping each other. But we haven't spent much time laughing over it all yet. Surely that will come in time ... just not yet. Sigh. Going anywhere for me is not much fun...too much pain involved in getting down our back stairs, in and out of the car. Not to mention the actual riding. I never knew there were so many bumps in a road - any road, every road!!! Spending most of our times in the house ... sometimes even counting "flowers on the wall" ... Reading ... watching movies ... sleeping ... talking to one another ... Not many visitors - everyone has their own lives. We understand that. Not many phone calls - again, everyone has their own lives.  I guess one of the hardest things for either of us to deal with is how isolated we feel. Not having TV service means that we depend on the computer and radio for news ... only thing about the radio is that in this old house we do not have good reception at all. Sigh. And for the computer? Well, this last week especially, just haven't felt like sitting here much at all. Actually went 3 days and never sat down here. <<Shaking my head in amazement at that! LOL>> We have watched movies - but 99% have been movies that we have seen so many times that we can go to sleep during the movie, wake up several minutes later and never feel like we have missed anything. LOL We got out last Saturday for a couple of hours. Saw clouds and trees and people! Wow! There really IS a world that still exists out there!!! LOL  My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus' Blood and righteousness! But, my hope is also that these rough days and times will pass ... and we will be better servants of the Lord because of it all. May the Lord bless and keep each one of you ... you are in our thoughts and our prayers. Hopefully, we are in yours as well.  Shoulder/rotator cuff surgery was last Wednesday, at ETMC in Tyler w/Dr. DeVinney. Rick was taken into surgery around 10 ... given the block in his shoulder, then put under. Surgery lasted about an hour. Dr. DeVinney came out and talked to me. Said that there wasn't as much damage as what it had looked like. That it was an "easy fix" - explained that so many times the "fix" is a lot more complicated. And that he had thought Rick's would be. So, he was well pleased - and we Praise God for His healing! Dr said that I could see Rick in Recovery 2 ... in about an hour. Warned me to expect him to be in pain for the next several days. We were sent home with a pain medication (to be used as needed) and a muscle relaxer (not to be used unless no other option). There was a delay in me getting to see Rick in Recovery ... and I was not happy at all! Sigh. That nurse will remember me! LOL ... In fact, I overheard her tell the other nurse that she was not going to deal with me any more - because I was "mean and mad"!!! The other nurse came and talked to me, and we worked together with Rick to get him breathing and off the oxygen, drinking and talking. Afterwards the 2nd nurse went back to the first one and told her that I had every right to be upset over not being taken to my husband when I was supposed to, especially with my husband asking for me! She also told the first nurse that I was a "nice and kind lady", as well as a "wife who knows her husband". LOL We got home late Wednesday afternoon. Rick tolerated the ride home very well. Awake, alert, aware. Talked to Bro. Jeremy and me most of the way from Tyler back to the house. Rick's dad and mom were waiting on us. Helped to get us both in the house and a bit settled. His dad spent the night in the other recliner. Helped Rick up and down and to the bathroom. **This first week, Rick has only had a couple of spikes in pain. Once, the ice pack had slipped down while he was asleep and was pressing into the shoulder. I removed the ice pack and he took pain meds - pain was under control in just minutes. The second spike was about 4:30 one morning. He had been asleep with the ice pack on, the ac was on, and he had a fan turned towards him. No covers. And a cool front blew thru. So, the house temp dropped to around 68* ... and his shoulder temp dropped even more. I removed the ice pack, he took pain meds, turned the ac off, turned the fan away, covered him with a blanket - pain under control in just minutes again. He said that mostly the pain has been around a 5 ... a few times getting to a 7 ... more often the last 2 or 3 days around a 2. Pain meds are Tylenol with Codeine - a 10 mg Codeine. But instead of him having 1 every 4 hours, he has been taking 1/2 every 3. Nurse said that was a better way to maintain control of the pain. (Has been working with me since surgery.) Beginning 2nd week after surgery now ... 
 In spending a lot of time at the house - with no TV service, not allowed to do much at all, and no one to visit with - we are spending a lot of time in prayer, a lot of time thinking, and a lot of time talking to one another. Most of this time is still good ... but we do have our "valley" moments. Yesterday was a "valley" DAY and the buzzards were definitely circling overhead - just waiting for that moment to swoop down and take the spoils. Sigh. God prevails - even against our own thoughts. Thanking Him today!!! But the day yesterday brought some questions to light ... and we give pause and thought and prayer to them today -- Proverbs says, "Without vision, the people perish". What happens when we see no vision? Is there really no vision? Or just a loss of vision? Big difference. Scientists tell us that the sun is always there - but on a cloudy day we cannot see it. Not seeing it does not make it not there. We lived in Oregon for a while. Mt. Hood is an awesome display of God's handiwork. But we couldn't see it 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. We couldn't see it on a cloudy or rainy day. Couldn't see it during the dark of night. But it never went away. It was there. We just couldn't see it. Is God finished with us? No plans left for our life? Then why Jeremiah 29:11? Is God not a God of truth? Is His Word not real? Or just not for us? Yes, there have been doors closed to us. But is that because there is nothing left for us to do? Or because those doors didn't open to what there is for us to do? Have we exhausted all the asking? All the seeking? All the knocking? It would be so much easier if God would just swoop in and lay it out clearly and blatantly! Sigh. Comparatively it would be easy to die one time - go to be with the Lord ... How much harder is it to live as unto the Lord day after day? Even when the healing doesn't come? When things don't work out the way we want them to? Have we come to the closing of our life? Or just an ending to all that we knew and a beginning to something we have yet to know? So, we pray ... we trust ... we wait ... And we try to just breathe in and breathe out. One day at a time ... one step at a time ... Lord, just don't leave us alone in all of this ... Lord! Show us your ways. 
 2 weeks ago today - Early in the morning I sat at Al & Christine's table with pen and paper, not knowing how the surgery would go, not even for sure that I would survive - and I wrote letters to each of my children, to Al & Christine, and to my husband. (I had already written letters to each of the grandkids.) As I sat there, I thought about how much I love each one, and how much I wanted to LIVE and not die. I wrote each word with tears running down my face. Loving each one. Praying for each one. Not so much a "good-bye" letter, just a letter of love and prayer. I hold these letters close to my heart this morning. And I think about that morning. God blessed the hands of my oncologist, and He granted my request to LIVE and not die. :-) Thank you God!!! Blessed be your Name - forever and always!!! Even if the healing doesn't come (Kutless) ... 
Cancer may be out of my body - but cancer will never be out of my life! I will never again be so afraid of that word!!! God is greater! God is bigger! Even if the healing doesn't come - God is still God! And God is still good!!! But I will never forget hearing those words with my name ... seeing my name on the bracelet at MD Anderson Cancer Clinic. I will never forget the tears I have cried, the prayers I have prayed. I will forever be grateful for all the prayers that have been cried and prayed for me in this. And I will always remember that moment when God gave me peace ... just a knowing that no matter what - "Even if ..." Relay for Life in SS is May 13, 2013 - I am looking forward to it! I have never been able to walk those laps for one reason or another - but I have already given notice for this year coming ... I'm GONNA walk! For my momma, for my brother, for best friends, for families, for all those affected by cancer - and for ME, too! Relay for Life in Graham is June 14, 2013 - I told Rick that I want to walk in both! I have kids and friends in both areas - and they can either walk with me, or sponsor me :-)! LOL Cancer SUCKS! And we fight! We press on! 
These two weeks have been "interesting" to say the least! LOL *I have had the worst heat flashes and night sweats of my life so far! Power surges? Explosions more like it! *My emotions have ranged from crying my eyes out to a Madea type attitude ... and sometimes in the time of about 2 heartbeats! God love my husband! *Trying not to take too many pain pills - just enough to keep the worst of the pain held off. Not so much that I am knocked out - I don't like that. Honestly tho, the pain hasn't been horrible - as long as I sit and rest more than I do anything else. The worst of the pain was on Monday when we had to go the doctors. Getting down the back steps here at the house, and then in and out of the car. OMW!!! *Insomnia - tired and sleepy, but unable to either go to sleep or stay asleep. Not taking anything for it yet tho ... just trying to wait it all out. Using the time I am awake to pray, to read, to work on the website and blogs. Sleep comes - just not always when I want it to. LOL *I think the worst so far has been feeling lonely. Missing the human connection ... sigh. Everyone is busy and no one has the time or inclination to "babysit" an old woman just out of surgery. I really do understand, I just have really been lonesome lately. sigh. *Rick has been awesome! He has cooked and cleaned - even tho it hurts him to the point of exhaustion, he has braved up and done what he can ... honestly more than he should be doing. But at this point, I am not allowed to do anything more than walk a little at a time. I have rinsed a few dishes for him - he hurts, I hurt. *Rick has been really good about helping me - giving me the belly shots, dressing me (kinda hard to ask him to help me put on panties - good grief! I am 51 years old! But, I can't bend over. So ... sigh), brushing my hair, bathing the places I cannot reach (can't get into the tub yet - we have a high claw foot old style bath tub) - and doing it all in a way that allows me to keep my dignity. *It's hard for me not to cook and clean - that's part of who I am, what I do. Always have. And I LOVE doing it! LOL Yes, I am weird that way. But, everyone who knows me - knows that anyway! LOL I told Rick yesterday that I just breathe in and breathe out - reminding myself that this is not for all time, just for this time. Sigh. *Rick and I have had some good conversations. And enjoyed just being together without talking, too. *We have watched movies and movies and movies. Some good, some -- well??? Getting tired of movies, wishing we had TV service. We both enjoy NCIS, Law & Order, CSI, the older comedies, the older series. *Our daughter has come and checked on me every morning and a lot of the evenings as well. She has kept my hair brushed, washed it, helped me with dressing. She too has done this with a sweet spirit, lots of laughter, and helping me to keep my dignity and pride. *Our son and daughter in love have not been able to be here, but they sure have used that telephone! LOL Calling to check on me, on us. Giving us much love and laughter. I would love to see them, to have them here - but I know how life and work and school schedules are. I understand - but am oofie, too. *Rick took his wife for a walk yesterday. Chris says that in the hospital a snail could have raced me, and now I have advanced to a turtle race. LOL ... But it was good to get outside for a few minutes yesterday. Even if my husband did say he was already tired of walking slow! LOL Yep - interesting is a word for these 2 weeks! LOL 
We went to Dr. Cutrell yesterday morning with Rick - for his pre-op. Other than his blood pressure being too high (because the clinic stressed him out and made him mad right before taking his blood pressure) everything is cleared. EKG was "perfect" ... chest x-rays were "clear and good". He was told that he "passed" and results were being forwarded to Dr. Devinney. PRAISE THE LORD!!! Surgery is scheduled for next Wednesday in Tyler @ 11:45 a.m. Next stop was Dr. Tris for him to check my incision. He said that it looked good. Had Linda remove the staples. OW! Thankfully, not as bad as I had been afraid of. A few brought tears to my eyes. But, we made it thru :-). He put me on a round of antibiotics just to be on the safe side. There is some redness with the incision and extremely tender. He said that this is pretty much "normal" - but just to be sure. Linda said to take the script to Medicine Chest North - that they were running a special promo for October on antibiotics. It was supposed to cost us around $34 ... cost us $0!!! PRAISE THE LORD!!! While at the clinic with Rick, Dr. Michael Frumovitz called - said he wanted to check on me, see how I was doing since surgery. We talked some. He said everything sounded good and "normal" at this time. Then, he said he wanted to give me the final pathology report ... deep breath. We had gotten the path report during surgery - but this was to be the final and detailed one. ...NO invasion into the wall of the uterus. ...NO invasion into the muscles. ...NO spreading of the cancer at all. ...95% CURE!!!!! ...NO chemo or radiation needed!!!!! THANK YOU JESUS! THANK YOU JESUS! THANK YOU JESUS! PRAISE GOD! PRAISE GOD! PRAISE GOD! He said that he will see me for the follow up visit the end of this month, or the first of next. And that MDA will be wanting to keep me closely watched and cared for after this. 
Psalm 36: 5-9 ... "Your love, O Lord, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies. Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains., your justice like the great deep. O Lord, you preserve both man and beast. How priceless is your unfailing love! Both high and low among men find refuge in the shadow of your wings. They feast on the abundance of your house; you give them drink from your river of delights. For with you is the fountain of light; in your light we see light." We went to Dr. Cutrell yesterday morning with Rick - for his pre-op. Other than his blood pressure being too high (because the clinic stressed him out and made him mad right before taking his blood pressure) everything is cleared. EKG was "perfect" ... chest x-rays were "clear and good". He was told that he "passed" and results were being forwarded to Dr. Devinney. PRAISE THE LORD!!! Surgery is scheduled for next Wednesday in Tyler @ 11:45 a.m. Next stop was Dr. Tris for him to check my incision. He said that it looked good. Had Linda remove the staples. OW! Thankfully, not as bad as I had been afraid of. A few brought tears to my eyes. But, we made it thru :-). He put me on a round of antibiotics just to be on the safe side. There is some redness with the incision and extremely tender. He said that this is pretty much "normal" - but just to be sure. Linda said to take the script to Medicine Chest North - that they were running a special promo for October on antibiotics. It was supposed to cost us around $34 ... cost us $0!!! PRAISE THE LORD!!! While at the clinic with Rick, Dr. Michael Frumovitz called - said he wanted to check on me, see how I was doing since surgery. We talked some. He said everything sounded good and "normal" at this time. Then, he said he wanted to give me the final pathology report ... deep breath. We had gotten the path report during surgery - but this was to be the final and detailed one. ...NO invasion into the wall of the uterus. ...NO invasion into the muscles. ...NO spreading of the cancer at all. ...95% CURE!!!!! ...NO chemo or radiation needed!!!!! THANK YOU JESUS! THANK YOU JESUS! THANK YOU JESUS! PRAISE GOD! PRAISE GOD! PRAISE GOD! He said that he will see me for the follow up visit the end of this month, or the first of next. And that MDA will be wanting to keep me closely watched and cared for after this. 
After the doctors' visits ... we tried to think of something to eat that sounded good. Nothing. We started home and decided to have a cheat meal :-) ... Cheeseburger and fries from Johnny's Place in Como ... OMW!!! How good it all tasted. Hamburger cooked to perfection. French fries seasoned just right. My tummy felt better :-)!!! Came home and watched a movie - "Carry Me Home" ... a different movie, but it was a good one. 
Rick's dad came down to check on us and to visit a little. While he was here, a van pulled in - it was my brother and sister in love, Billy and Mickie. They were on the way to a grandson's football game. They wanted to stop and check on us ... and they brought us supper :-). I have been craving Chicken Pot Pie ... and what did she bring? HOMEMADE CHICKEN POT PIE :-) ... talk about feeling loved and cared for! OMW it was good! She is an awesome cook - and we certainly enjoyed that last night! :-) 
And how did the day close out? My sweet and compassionate husband did something I didn't ask for nor did I expect. Right before bedtime, he got a warm bowl of water, some sweet smelling bath gel, and sat down at the foot of my recliner. Because I cannot bend over and wash my feet and legs, he did it for me. Tenderly, gently. Oh, how good it felt, how sweet it smelled. Made me feel even more loved and cherished and honored. 
 Ever have one of "those" days that you struggle in every thought, every breath, every movement to remember to be grateful instead of wallowing in a pity party? Well ... Today is that day for me. For us. Is it because of the pain and pain meds? Thanking God that I survived surgery. Thanking God for the doctors that have helped and brought me this far. Having had 8 units of blood in the last 2 months, it was getting SERIOUS! Thanking God for pain meds that help to hold the pain at bay without knocking me on my butt. The gloomy clouds outside making for a gloomy attitude inside? Thanking God for the cooler weather. The heat flashes are horrible in the hotter weather! Cabin fever? Thanking God for a house to be in ... one that is safe and secure from the weather changes. Feeling such a captive ... 4 days in the hospital ... 7 days at home ... can't get out, can't go anywhere. Thanking God for a phone ... and for the Internet ... for my daughter who comes at least once a day (usually twice a day) ... Rick's parents who have checked on us just about every day. Lonesome and blue ... Thankful for the Presence of God - in the day light, and in the darkest nights. No matter the pain or anything - God is there beside me. Bored with movies ... no TV service ... Thankful for movies that we can watch and enjoy - and that they are worth watching (well, mostly - LOL). Because of tired of hurting? Momma always said that pain makes you know you are ALIVE ... so trying to be thankful for the pain. Feelings of trepidation over Rick having surgery and being down even more than he is now? Thankful that God has promised to never leave us nor forsake us. No matter what we go thru. No matter who is with us as we go thru it all. God is here. God is there. God remains. Hunger pains occasionally now - but not wanting anything we have. Just tired of sandwiches and frozen foods. Can't cook (not for another 4 weeks) - and it hurts Rick to do too much cooking. Thankful for a husband who is willing to cook since I cannot. Thankful that for the next 10 days Rick can cook. Thankful for food to cook even if it isn't what I want. LOL Just one of "those" days ... sigh ... Also - Rick is on the phone with his best friend ... who has cancer. I was on the phone with my best friend ... who's mother in law is dying with cancer. Sigh....   My momma always said that the 8th day after surgery was the day to be taken with doing nothing at all. Now if that is just an old wives' tale? Well, I am an old wife - and a day of doing nothing at all seems like a good idea. And if there is anything right and good about it? Well, I didn't want to take a chance on messing that up. So, guess what I have done today? NOTHING AT ALL!!! ROFL :-) 
Rick and Brooklyn fixed us chicken stew for lunch with cheesy cornbread. Mmmmm...it was good! Would have been good anytime, but on the first chilly day of fall? OMW! It was (is) good! Chicken stew without 'maters or 'taters ... but oh so good! Chicken ... broccoli ... english peas ... carrots ... yellow squash ... seasonings ... cream of chicken soup ... goooood! It was fun to listen to P-paw and Brooklyn bantering back and forth. She kept telling P-paw that he "is weird" ... ROFL. 
I am sorer today than what I thought I would be ... mostly at the incision site. Over the rest of my body, the swelling has just about all gone down. Good. Except now the bruises are showing better, and the veins are still popped up from the IV's. But, I am thankful to be alive and that the surgery went well, with a good report following! Praise the Lord!!! Going to Dr. Tris on Monday morning for him to check the incision. See if it is ready to have the staples removed. NOT looking forward to that. Think I will be a baby and beg for mercy - a local! LOL Rick goes to Dr. Cutrell Monday morning as well for his pre-op clearance. Praying that there are no problems, no complications. He needs to have this shoulder surgery. He has suffered in pain long enough. Knowing there will be more pain, different pain, but the pain of healing. 
I am going to get started on going thru my pictures this weekend, and continue until I am done! I have literally thousands of pictures - and more to get from my brother, and from my mother-in-law. I am going thru them to see which ones I (or someone else) wants a copy of, then going to upload them to my computer - and on to Wal-mart for copies, add some to my website here, make some online photo albums, save to disks or flash drives, put all the hard copies in albums. I also take some of our pictures and put them on DVD's - that is fun to watch. I get overwhelmed with the amount of photos I have!!! But, I certainly have time now to work on it all. So, I might as well get started. Yes, ma'am ... I have started our genealogy ... and am going to be working some more on it, too. I would like to get it all uploaded and added to this website as well. Complete with pictures and even some stories and recipes to share. 
Well, guess it's time to get back to doing nothing for the rest of today and this evening :-) ... Praying for each one to be God blessed beyond all words! Love y'all so very, very much!!!!! 
Margaret -- I had the hysterectomy on Friday, September 28, 2012. Full and complete - including ovaries and tubes. Pathology during surgery indicated no invasion of cancer into the uterine walls - so, no removal of lymph nodes and surrounding tissues. Dr. Michael Frumovitz told Rick that there appeared no other cancer. And that the uterine cancer seemed smaller in actuality than it did on the MRI!!! Praise the Lord! I did have to have 3 units of blood during surgery. But none afterwards. Early Saturday morning the bladder catheter was removed. Late Saturday afternoon, oxygen was removed. Early Sunday the IV was taken out. Breathing treatments continuing in the hospital, and occasionally (as prescribed) at home. Lovenox shots to help prevent blood clotting. Prescription strength Motrin and Norcor (Tylenol w/10 mg Codeine) for pain as needed. Stool softener to counteract the pain meds. Dr. Michael said he wasn't too worried about me not eating - said that it is not unusual for appetite not to return for 2 weeks or more. Is more concerned with me drinking a lot.\ I am to see Dr. Tris on 10/8 for the possible removal of staples - about a 12 inch incision. And scheduled to return to Houston for follow-up exam with Dr. Michael the end of October or first of November. Should have the final pathology report in by that time. And if it is the same as the one during surgery - there will be no need of chemo or radiation! Praise God!!! Rick -- Pre-op certification on Monday, October 8 with Dr. Cutrell. If everything is good and he clears, then rotator cuff/shoulder surgery will be October 17 in Tyler with Dr. Devinney. He is scheduled for blood work on October 26th for Dr's Tobin, Arneke, Cochran. Appointment with Dr. Tobin and Dr. Arneke on Monday, October 29th. BUSY MONTH!!!!! 
 A couple of rough nites ... but God is good. Even in the worst of this post-op pain, I know God is with me, sustaining me with His Presence. There is NO WAY I could do this without Him!!! I said in the beginning of all this that I was going to be honest - good or bad ... So, with that in mind ... Night before last - horrible pain. Even the pain meds didn't bring relief anytime soon. Walk the floor. Try to find a comfortable spot in the lift chair Rick bought me before surgery. Listen to Praise and Worship music. Pray. Even surf the net. Nothing worked. Sigh. I cried out to Jesus ... felt so weak and weary ... felt so alone ... Finally, the pain meds kicked in ... and I slept a while. Last night - hot flashes and night sweats, one after another. No relief. Plus, my incision was hurting. First time it has really hurt. There have been some twinges, but nothing like last night. Again, just could not get comfortable. Nothing seemed to work. And again, I cried out to Jesus. Only last night I didn't sleep. Got up and journaled, then surfed the net and thanks to a very dear friend - Sandy - I found "HysterSisters" .... so much info there ... and I am looking forward to getting to know the ladies there, sharing in this journey. 
Mandy came by this morning - she has been a help to me. I thank God for her, and for her closeness to us thru this. She has been checking on me at night when she gets home from work, and in the mornings before going to work. Doing whatever I ask. :-) ... Dessie calls everyday to check on me. She is such an encouragement to me. I know she is busy with her bunch, but she takes the time to check on us. :-) Her desire is to be here with me, but life just doesn't allow that desire right now. What would I do without my girls??? O goodness! I love my kids!!! Brooklyn stops here everyday when she gets off the bus to check on Grannee. She brushed my hair yesterday. Such sweet conversation as she did. Loving all my grandkids this morning!!! :-) Rick has been good to me thru all this. He not only has taken me to every appointment without complaining - but he stayed with me thru the tests, thru the surgery, and while I was in the hospital. He has watched over me after getting home - not allowing me to do too much, being there if I need a hand (often) and when I need a hug (more often). To hold me when I cry (more than I would like to admit). I thank God for my husband. For with all his own health issues and concerns - he is taking good care of me. 
 God is good. God is great. All the time. No matter what. God is God. Update ... We made it to Houston on Tuesday of last week. Went to Al & Christine's. I cannot say enough how much we love them! Yes, they are family, but they have stood strong and beside us thru all of this - so they are much more than family, they are FRIENDS FOREVER!!! They are the perfect and gracious hosts. Opening their home and changing even their schedules to accomodate us, and our children thru all of this last week/weekend. A HUG and THANK YOU to Al & Christine! Y'all ABSOLUTELY ROCK!!! LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!! Wednesday was a pelvic MRI. OMW!!! Had it not been for the song "Trust in Jesus" I don't think I could have made it thru that!!! It was horrible. I know it was necessary for me, and I had volunteered for the research part of it for me and for all the women to come after me. But still! OMW!!! Thank you Jesus for being in there with me and helping me to breathe in and breathe out. Thank you Jesus for praying for me. I kept thinking of the tears on His face as He stood there with me. I know without a doubt that He was there. Thursday was a shorter day - meet with the doctors, pre-op blood work, EKG, pre-admit ... Thursday night our daughter and her fiance came to Al & Christine's. It was good to see her! :-) Friday morning - waiting for 10 a.m. was the hardest part. Check in wasn't until 10:30 a.m. So, the wait was the hard. Finally made it to the hospital, found surgery check in. Waited just a little while for them to call me. Didn't take long for them to get me in the pre-op waiting room. Took longer for them to try and get the epidural to work (which btw - they didn't! said my back was too compressed in the spine to get it to work. decided after an hour and half to not try it anymore. sigh). Then came the moment when they said OR was ready and waiting. Time to get that kiss from Rick ... and see him walk away. It took all that I had - more than I thought I could do - to lay there. The tears flowed. The doctor wiped them away. The nurses comforted me. A deep breath ... and I don't remember anything else. Then, I see thru a fog dimly - my husband and my daughter! God did not allow me to die! He made me to LIVE!!! :-) Evidenced by the sight and sounds of my husband and daughter ... and the pain raging in my body. But that's ok - cause He has answered prayers. The cancer was GOTTEN!!! Non-invasive, non-aggressive. If the final pathology reports show the same as the pathology during surgery, there will be no chemo or radiation needed. Praise God!!! Recovery 1 until around midnight Friday ... then Recovery 2 until around 7 p.m. on Saturday. In Recovery 2 ... Catheter was removed early Saturday morning. Oxygen removed later that afternoon. Breathing treatments to prevent lung infections. I had help in sitting up on the side of the bed Saturday morning. We walked 5 or 6 times around the nurses station on Saturday. Argue with the doctor :-) ... Moved to a room on the GYN floor late Saturday evening ... ... walk more ... Better bathrooom trips. Took a shower on Sunday morning - got to put on panties and my own gown!!! How good that felt!!! Liquid diet changed to a soft diet. IV taken out upon the promise that I would drink a lot and pee a lot. ...walk ... Visitors on Sunday - Chris & Mandy, Al & Christine, Mike & Nina :-) . By Monday morning we were told that I was about 3 steps ahead of the "plan" - and because of that, doctor didn't see holding me there any longer if I felt comfortable enough to go home. Finally got discharged ... meds filled ... car loaded ... me in ... and 7 hours later, we are HOME!!! :-) 
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So why "Scattered Feathers" ? ? ?You can read it here 
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Website designed & developed by Margaret McCoy
God is God over the storms in my life & world -
and I am His. Trusting in Him. Holding to His Promises as He holds me. Learning to laugh, to love, & to live ... again - without Rick, but with God Life goes on ... even when we don't want it to. Great grief is indicative of a great Love. Rick, my Sweetheart. Margaret, his Beloved. Always & Forever. |
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