 Has it really been 2 weeks since I posted here? Ouch! Life has thrown us come curve balls ... and we are still trying to steady ourselves in it all ... But, I am sorry to those that read here - for not posting more these last few days. We started and finished the dialysis training over in Paris, the week of the 17th. Thursday was the 1/2 day of training, where we did the dialysis exchange in front of the nurses, with little to no help or encouragement from them. We passed! Thank you Lord! Friday, 12/21, the nurses came to the house. First shipment of supplies were delivered and the room was complete. We passed the test here at the house as well! Again, Thank you Lord! Lisa and Glenda said that we were doing good. Left us the number to call them at if we needed anything, and left us alone for Christmas weekend. 2 more exchanges on Friday - alone. We did fine. Made a couple of small mistakes - but then, we learn from those mistakes. Just as long as the mistakes are not endangering Rick's life and health - we are ok.  Friday afternoon Rick and I made a mad run to Wal-mart's. Picked up the groceries and supplies we needed to make beef stew and squash/onion cornbread - so that Mandy could take it to work with her on Saturday. I enjoyed cooking for her so much! She has been working long and hard hours this holiday season. We haven't been able to see her much since Thanksgiving. She still tries to stop most mornings and grab a cup of coffee - and leave a hug or two. :-) Hopefully once the holiday rush is over we will be able to spend some quality and quantity time together ... I would like that.  Saturday morning we finished packing and loading the car down with our stuff and all the dialysis supplies that we might need for a few days. And we drove out to the Graham area. It was past time to see my son!!! =) How sweet it was to hug and kiss those grandkids!!! How precious it was to be hugged by my daughter in love ... and by my son!!! Oh how much I have missed them!!! We spent Saturday afternoon getting the car unloaded, handing out little things to the grandkids, getting the dialysis "room" set up for the visit, and taking over Joshua and Dessie's bedroom =). We were blessed to spend 5 glorious nights with them!!! We played UNO with them and the grandkids - I don't think I have ever laughed so hard as we did that night. Joshua and I both had tears because of the laughter. Kyla was hilarious! She gave her daddy looks that were priceless!!! LOL The hardest thing was to pack and load everything Thursday morning. No, the hardest thing was to try and hold it all together and not fall completely apart at the thought of driving away from my son. Sigh. The tears came - both to him and to me. Tears of love and joy ... tears of already missing one another.  Another check up in with the Dialysis Center on Thursday afternoon. Another "test" to make sure we had not picked up any bad habits over the holiday. We passed - again. And again, Thank you Lord!!! Dr. Greenwell came and talked with us. Changed Rick's blood pressure medication a little, and his diabetes meds. Both his blood pressure and blood sugar are running too high. But neither are a surprise as the dialysis is just starting, and we are still in the adjusting stage of it all.  To the house again ... unloaded ... unpacked ... trying to get everything settled back in ... clean ... organized ... caught up ...
Yep ... I'm SSSTTTRRREEESSSEEEDDD!!! Sigh ... Trying to convince my mind to just breathe in and breathe out ... Telling myself over and over to Trust in Jesus ... and Call on Jesus!!! Please continue to pray for us ...
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 What a day of rejoicing in Heaven Friday was ... and what a day of tragedy in our nation. A lone young man of 20, took it upon himself for whatever reason to end the lives of not only his mother and himself - but of these precious teachers and children @ Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, CT. My heart is breaking. My spirit is grieving. And the questions rage within my mind. Why? What could possibly possess a man to do this to innocent children? How does someone become that angry? How does someone get that full of despair? I have no answers. I have tears ... grieving ... unbearable sorrow. So, I call on Jesus! I ask Him to wrap His arms of love and grace and mercy around this community, around our nation. And especially around the parents, the brothers, the sisters, the family and friends of each one of these on this list. Give them comfort as only He can give. Give them sweet and precious memories. Give them laughter. And don't ever let one of these precious ones be forgotten!!! Some are once again screaming for gun control. Gun EDUCATION would be better. There are guns on the streets that do not need to be in the hands of ordinary citizens. But even with tighter gun laws, they will be. Gun control will NOT solve our nation's problems of people killing people. And sadly - neither will gun EDUCATION. Because there will always be guns and there will always be ignorance. As it is has been said so often - guns do not kill people ... people kill people. People have been killing people since the beginning of time and space - usually over some petty form of jealousy. And with all manners of weapons. There is NO WAY to remove all the weapons used to kill one another. Jealousy that leads to feelings of losing something ... that leads to resentment and bitterness ... that leads to anger ... that leads to stupidity ... and to acts of tragedy that can never be taken back, that change our lives forever. Education and compassion. What this world needs is JESUS! A good old-fashioned revival! Where we fall on our face (forgo the knees) and we cry out to JESUS!!! Save us O God!!! This is too big of a mess for us to fix!!! Redeem us O GOD!!! Protect us!!! Deliver us!!! O GOD!!! Intervene and invade our hearts, our lives, our homes, our churches, our schools, our businesses, our nation! Take control God of an out of control way of life!!! Turn our hearts and our minds back to YOU - our Creator, our Defender, our Provider. What are we going to do about letting this change our lives? Will we barricade ourselves and our families? Trying our best to protect us from the evils of this world? If so, then what about the evils that come into our lives and homes thru TV, movies, video games, books, music, the Internet? Will we pray? We as Christians ought to be praying for the teachers in our local schools - BY NAME! If you don't know their names, find out! Call the school. Meet with at least one teacher this week and tell them face to face that you are praying for them. Ask them if there is any specific prayer request that they have? Something that you can agree with them on? Will we as Christians who are to be the light of the world - will we let our light shine before others this week? When do you turn a light on? When there is darkness. People wake up!!! How much more dark must our world become before we are "turning on the light"?!? We need to be showing Jesus in every breath we take, with every move we make, in every word we speak!!! We need to think and to consider - WHAT WOULD JESUS DO??? There is too much darkness in the world for Christians (Galatians 2:20) to go around not shining the light!!! Will we still praise Him? In the midst of all the storms and darkness - will we still praise Him? Nothing changes who God is. No matter what our human eyes see, what our human hearts feel - God is still God. And He is still worthy of praise. The Bible tells us that God inhabits the praises of His people. How much do we need the inhabiting of God's Presence in our lives today?!? Then PRAISE HIM!!! He is God ... the Ancient of Days ... Redeemer ... Saviour ... Loving God ... Faithful Father ... Mighty One ... Holy One ... Lord of lords ... King of kings ... God of gods ... Gather your loved ones close - love them ... hold them ... give them hugs and kisses to their embarrassment even - what these parents and families would do if only they could!!! And if for no other reason - do it for the honor and memory of these names! This picture with all the precious names was snagged off of Facebook this morning. And I don't even know who to give credit for it to. But the Lord knows ... 
 More rambling coffee thoughts this morning ... I started to write about the difficult year that this has been for us - financially, emotionally, mentally and physically. But the more I wrote, the less I wanted to. So, I hit the "delete" button and decided to start over. Yes, we have been thru a LOT this year. But God has been there every step of the way, with every breath we have breathed, with every move we have made. God has been there. He has shown His love and care to us so many times, so many ways. He has used His chosen ones to bless our socks off! To all - THANK YOU for being used by God in our lives this year.  Tomorrow we begin Dialysis training at the Dialysis Center in Paris, TX. I know that this will be another step in changing our lives forever. There will be new things to learn and a LOT to remember. A new diet. New exercise routine. New lists of do's and don't's. If you read this, and think about us this week - say a prayer for us. A word of calmness and strength. A word of encouragement and hope. A prayer for deep breathing.  This is what I am trying so hard to do ... Just rest, be still and know that God is God - no matter what we are dealing with...
 Lab report ... Rick's total blood count before surgery was at 8.1 ... after surgery -- 8.9!!! Doctor was well pleased. Not as high as he would like to see it, but better than expected. Also - Rick's potassium was NORMAL!!! This is something that we have been fighting since January of this year!!! Praise the Lord!!! He is going to physical therapy 3 days a week. He has said that for the most part, not so bad. The pulley exercise hurt the first day ... but not so much yesterday. Climbing the wall with his fingers - well, he has "blessed" that exercise a few times already! Still working on his range of motion exercises. Jeff said that his range of motion is very good, he is well pleased with it. Strength training due to start before too much longer. But thankfully, Jeff is really being careful with Rick. Such a relief and blessing in that! Jeff and Heather are AWESOME at the ETMC rehab center in Sulphur Springs!!! I am so thankful that God has placed them in our lives. We had heard absolute horror stories about physical therapists for the shoulder/rotator cuff. But we cannot say enough good about the kindness and compassion shown to Rick thru this from Jeff and Heather. Thank y'all SO MUCH!!! Going to Dr. Bengston this morning down at the clinic in Winnsboro. Rick gets his staples removed!!! Praying for little to no pain or discomfort in that. 3 weeks post surgery now. Catheter site seems to be healing good. There is a little redness around it, but according to what the nurses have said - it is more a redness of healing with a little irritation than anything wrong. They assure us that it looks good and "normal". 
Lab report ... Rick's total blood count before surgery was at 8.1 ... after surgery -- 8.9!!! Doctor was well pleased. Not as high as he would like to see it, but better than expected. Also - Rick's potassium was NORMAL!!! This is something that we have been fighting since January of this year!!! Praise the Lord!!! He is going to physical therapy 3 days a week. He has said that for the most part, not so bad. The pulley exercise hurt the first day ... but not so much yesterday. Climbing the wall with his fingers - well, he has "blessed" that exercise a few times already! Still working on his range of motion exercises. Jeff said that his range of motion is very good, he is well pleased with it. Strength training due to start before too much longer. But thankfully, Jeff is really being careful with Rick. Such a relief and blessing in that! Jeff and Heather are AWESOME at the ETMC rehab center in Sulphur Springs!!! I am so thankful that God has placed them in our lives. We had heard absolute horror stories about physical therapists for the shoulder/rotator cuff. But we cannot say enough good about the kindness and compassion shown to Rick thru this from Jeff and Heather. Thank y'all SO MUCH!!! Going to Dr. Bengston this morning down at the clinic in Winnsboro. Rick gets his staples removed!!! Praying for little to no pain or discomfort in that. 3 weeks post surgery now. Catheter site seems to be healing good. There is a little redness around it, but according to what the nurses have said - it is more a redness of healing with a little irritation than anything wrong. They assure us that it looks good and "normal". Dialysis training starts on Monday! Continued prayers please ... 
 What a week it was last. Ever have "one of those" weeks? When being a zombie seems far too real to imagine? That's where I have been this week. It has been a struggle to just breathe in and breathe out. Sigh. We went to the Dialysis Center in Paris on Tuesday. Line was flushed twice - worked great. Bandage was changed - looks good. We were taught how to change the bandage, and it will need to be changed daily for the next 5 weeks. Rick was given permission to take showers again :-). We have to cover the catheter site with a plastic bag and tape right now, but at least he can take a shower!!! And he did the next day - said he felt MUCH BETTER! lol Physical therapy was Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Therapist says that his range of motion is great. And his strength is good in the hand. He is progressing at a good rate. Friday, the bicep was tight, which made the stretching part of therapy hurt more. Rick has exercises now that he is to be doing at least once (preferably twice) a day at home. Having to force his way thru the "good hurt". Several phone calls between doctors trying to figure out who and when is going to do what. Sigh. Think we finally have it resolved. For Rick's kidneys -- Dr. Greenwell, Paris TX, is going to be Rick's primary doctor. With Dr. Arneke, Sulphur Springs, as a back-up. Dr. Tobin will be on consultation only at this point. For his shoulder -- Dr. Devinney is primary. Dr. Cutrell is overseeing. And Jeff is the physical therapist.  Started work on the house ... getting it clean and set up for dialysis. OUCH!!! Neither Rick nor I are supposed to be doing a lot of bending and stretching, pulling or pushing, lifting ... ever try to clean house - scrub house - and move stuff around without doing any of those things? Makes us think and figure out ways to be creative - at least enough to get it done. LOL Not sure when they are going to deliver supplies. We will be in Paris 4 days next week for the training. Then, the nurses will be here for part of the day on Friday to make sure we "got it". Lord, help us please!!!  The Walker Christmas was yesterday at the Pickton Community Center. We enjoyed it so much. Not only was it good to get out of the house for more than a doctor's visit, or a hospital stay - it was just good to be with the family. The food was good, too! :-) Tried to be a good girl and not eat too much of anything ... but needed to taste most of it ;-) You never really realize how important family is until you go thru some health issues that are life threatening! I have pictures that I am trying to get uploaded to the computer so that I can put them on here.  Praying that you all have an awesome Christmas ... remembering Christ in all that you do, wherever you go, whoever you are with.
Remember also that Christmas isn't about the tree, the presents, the food. It is about being with those that you love, that love you. It is about fellowship. No one is perfect - but as family and friends, we are here to pick one another up when we fall down.  Rick had labs yesterday ... we wait to hear the report on them. This was to be his "baseline" numbers before beginning dialysis. Went to the dialysis center yesterday. Glenda, Rick's nurse, flushed his catheter twice. The fluid went in and came out with no problems. The fluid looked "normal". Had some protein in it, but according to her that is normal. Which is why they push eating protein so much after dialysis begins. Rick said that it did not hurt, in fact he said he couldn't feel anything. which is what is desired. They also changed Rick's bandaging on the incisions and the catheter. He has a small amount of irritation redness on the incision with 3 staples in it. The incision with 8 staples looks very good and clean. A small amount of drainage around the catheter port. Nurse said it looks clean and normal tho. We were sent home with the cleaners, the bandages, everything needed to change the dressing around the catheter port daily now. They explained to us what to watch for. Dialysis training is set to begin December 17 and to last 4 days ... then we will come home and begin this new challenge! Pray for us --- PLEASE. 
Rick had labs yesterday ... we wait to hear the report on them. This was to be his "baseline" numbers before beginning dialysis. Went to the dialysis center yesterday. Glenda, Rick's nurse, flushed his catheter twice. The fluid went in and came out with no problems. The fluid looked "normal". Had some protein in it, but according to her that is normal. Which is why they push eating protein so much after dialysis begins. Rick said that it did not hurt, in fact he said he couldn't feel anything. which is what is desired. They also changed Rick's bandaging on the incisions and the catheter. He has a small amount of irritation redness on the incision with 3 staples in it. The incision with 8 staples looks very good and clean. A small amount of drainage around the catheter port. Nurse said it looks clean and normal tho. We were sent home with the cleaners, the bandages, everything needed to change the dressing around the catheter port daily now. They explained to us what to watch for. Dialysis training is set to begin December 17 and to last 4 days ... then we will come home and begin this new challenge! Pray for us --- PLEASE. 
 Sitting here this morning, drinking coffee, waiting for the day to start ... a thousand thoughts running thru my tired and weary mind. I am so thankful that God understands me more than I understand myself! This is from my devotional -- "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young (which I highly recommend to anyone that is wanting a closer and more real walk with our Lord) ... "Come to Me with empty hands and an open heart, ready to receive abundant blessings. I know the depth and breadth of your neediness. Your life-path has been difficult, draining you of strength. Come to Me for nurture. Let Me fill you up with My Presence: I in you, and you in Me. My Power flows most freely into weak ones aware of their need for Me. Faltering steps of dependence are not lack of faith; they are links to My Presence." Oh Lord - you knew exactly what I needed to hear this morning! Help me to just come to you. Rest and be still a while. Trusting in you with all my heart and soul. Trusting my life and all our ways to you. Thank you.  We are heading out this morning to the Paris Dialysis Center. The nurse is going to flush Rick's line today. Change the dressing. And hopefully give him permission to take a shower. He also has to have blood drawn at the lab for his "baseline" readings. Praying for good numbers. We have been talking about how to make these trips to the doctors/hospitals/labs better. And since we both enjoy history so much, we are going to try using these day trips as a way to explore history - maybe those off the beaten path types of history. Those things that become almost like a treasure hunt. As we go along, I will be sharing some of what we find and learn.  Got the message last night that this coming Sunday is the "Walker Christmas" at the Pickton Community Center. Looking forward to seeing family. It has been a while since we have seen many of them. It will be good to sit a while and catch up :-). Know that there will be some good eats there :-)! This bunch is full of good cooks! We didn't get to go last year, on the road. You miss a lot when you are on the road. Truckers are greatly needed and very under-appreciated!  Guess it is time for me to "shush" too. There are several things that I need to do before it is time to leave here ... and this ain't getting any of them accomplished.
I keep waiting for the dust bunnies to arise and do all this cleaning -- but alas ... I think they are as tired and weary as I am!!! Y'all have a good day! God bless! Love, hugs and prayers - |
So why "Scattered Feathers" ? ? ?You can read it here 
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God is God over the storms in my life & world -
and I am His. Trusting in Him. Holding to His Promises as He holds me. Learning to laugh, to love, & to live ... again - without Rick, but with God Life goes on ... even when we don't want it to. Great grief is indicative of a great Love. Rick, my Sweetheart. Margaret, his Beloved. Always & Forever. |
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