Mind wandering thoughts ...

Thank God for coffee!!! 

Whoever decided all those years ago to take a bean and add hot water to it - BLESS YOU AND YOURS!!! LOL ...

I look forward to that cup (pot) of coffee every morning. 
Some have accused me of being addicted - I don't think I am. 

It's not that I CANNOT live with out my coffee - it is that Rick doesn't WANT to live without me having my coffee!!! ROFL

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This picture may be true ~at least I hope it is~ but ... I do seriously need to decrease the size of my airbags! 
But seriously - it is HARD to do!!! Gets harder and harder the older I get ... and especially dealing with all the health issues that we are facing right now. 
Health issues that come not only with challenges, but with so many restrictions. And these restrictions are not only about what we can or cannot do - but what we are to eat, and what we aren't to eat. Sigh. 
Definitely a balancing act to all of this. 
Praying for wisdom and direction from God - the Great Physician and all time Trainer. 
Please Lord - help me!!! 

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This is about the truest picture I could find ... I am mentally and emotionally exhausted! 

I never knew that dealing with health issues could be so exhausting mentally and emotionally. Overwhelming to say the least. 
Like -- 
*When you are faced with paperwork that starts out "End of Life Alternatives". Sigh. OMW ... deep breathing ... 
*Trying to balance diet and nutrition with what we are allowed to eat and what we are to stay away from ...
*Trying to get exercise without exercising ... that's a trick!
*Dealing with all the house "stuff" --
...cooking without standing in one place very long at a time (me), or with only one hand (Rick). 
...cleaning without bending over, without sweeping, without mopping, without running a vacuum cleaner 
...doing laundry when we don't have a washer and dryer - which means that every load of clothes must be taken out - either to laundromat, or up to Rick's parents'. 
...keeping a fire going - I can't because I am not allowed to handle all the wood, so Rick has been faced with doing it with only one hand, and trying to work around the catheter in his belly. 

We have had a little help. 
Rick's parents doing our laundry once a week. 
Rick's dad, our daughter, and our grandkids here bringing the wood into the house - mostly. At least Rick hasn't had to bring in a lot, yet. 
A couple of meals brought to us. 
One friend (Nina) who went to Sam's and bought us several meals that all we had to do was put them in the oven - that was NICE!!! 

We are coming to the end of the 6th month of this ... going into the 7th. And when do we expect to be back to "normal", on our own??? 
Well, Rick is under physical therapy with his shoulder until at least March 1 ... then will be re-evaluated. 
The catheter/dialysis will be a part of our life from now until ... either a transplant, or a miracle from God, or Rick is "home". 
I am under restrictions at least until February 14 ... and then? Well, a lot of that depends on what the check-up shows, and what Dr. Michael has to say. I know that after the detailed surgery I had to have, that there will still be some restrictions until the rest of the first year is done. (Which will be September 28 of this year). 
So, sadly - it seems that everyone is getting weary of helping us too. Which leaves us ... how? Where? Sigh. 

No, I never knew what it was like to deal with a CHRONIC condition, how exhausting it is ... sigh. 
Lord God - help us please. Give us peace, courage, strength. Give us the will to go on ... to face these storms - and to praise you in the midst of it all. Please. Thank you. 

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This has become one of MY prayers. I find myself praying it A LOT!!! 

The life that we knew before January 2012 is over. Done. Never to be known again. 
Does that mean that we don't have a life now? No. We do. Just a different life. And it takes some getting used to!!! 

There are a lot of changes that we have been thru in all these years of marriage. 32 years together. Yes, we have seen a lot of changes. 
This so far is proving to be the greatest challenge of all. 

Rick and I spend a great amount of time reminding ourselves and one another about how blessed we are. Counting those blessings ... those mercy drops ... 

We also celebrate the little things - a good blood pressure reading, a cold glass of tea when we are thirsty, a song that touches a point deep within us, a kind word spoken by someone, a hug from anyone, when the puppy potties on her pad ... so many little things that keep us breathing in and breathing out ... 

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Since we are beginning to get things "timed", I am starting to do some things other than doctors ... 

*I could not find a purse or tote bag that really worked for me - I have to carry so much everywhere we go. So, I decided to try my hand at making me one. Took me over a week to get it right and make it - but it WORKS!!! :-) 
I have had several comment on it, that they liked it. And of course, I have had a few say negative things about it - how "handmade" it looks, that it is "too big" - but like I told them, "It IS handmade!" And - "If you had to carry all that I carry? You would need it BIG, too!" LOL 

*My daughter liked my purse/bag so much that she had me make her one ... just finished it last night. 
Now, to make my daughter in love hers. LOL 

*Going thru my recipes - trying to get a cookbook together for my girls and grandkids. So many "momma" recipes that have no measurements tho! Hard to figure out how to write out those directions! LOL 

*Getting back to working on our genealogy. Trying to add the stories and pictures that I have. Wanting to upload everything online so that we can connect and re-connect with family thru this. 

*Also going thru pictures! OMW!!! 32 years of pictures to go thru!!! Not going to finish that today!!! LOL 

*Going to make my son a quilt ... not quilted on the machine, but by hand. I have it ready to put together. Will be working on the top today. 

*Granddaughters are going to get a bag/tote ... grandsons will be getting pillows, possibly throw quilts for watching TV. 

Thank you Lord for helping me to figure out something to do that isn't revolving around doctors and hospitals! 

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