Tuesday afternoon ...

Thank you Lord for the rain last night. The thunder and lightening was quite a show - and terrified our dog, Cheri! She could not figure out what was going on. No amount of love and attention would quiet her and calm her. I finally made her a "hiding" place on the couch, and she curled up into a ball and went to sleep. Poor baby. Her was skeered! 

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We are leaving Coffee Creek RV park in the morning, going to Sulphur Springs. Rick has a doctor's appointment and labs at the dialysis center in Paris tomorrow afternoon. Praying for good labs, and an encouraging doctor's visit. 
Also praying that Dr Greenwell will have the wisdom to know if Rick needs something besides antibiotics and Mucinex to fight this cough and congestion!!! 
We will be in Sulphur Springs until Friday, waiting on a dialysis delivery. 

Rick is also going to be trying to sell the 2002 Dodge 2500 4x4 pickup that he traded the Suburban for. Praying that the Lord's will is done ... but also hoping it sells! We don't need a 3rd pickup!!! --Like Joshua and I agreed on, Rick does NOT need to be a used car salesman! Goodness knows that he would want to keep just about every vehicle that came on the lot! 

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I find myself increasingly frustrated. Rick is living with End Stage Renal Disease. But he is still functional and active. Therefore, we find ourselves, both him as the patient, and me as his primary caregiver, falling thru the cracks of just about every program that is available to ESRD families. It's not right. 
This life is not easy - even if he is active in his own care. Thanking God daily that he is high-functioning, and able to be active. HOWEVER, it would be good to fit into a support group - to discuss all our emotions and struggles with someone who really knows and understands what we are dealing with. Or to have some help occasionally - physical, mental, emotional, financial. 
We have been told - oh when he gets worse you will qualify for ... ARGHHHH!!!
Who decides that he WILL get worse? What if God allows him to stay at this high function and activity level for the rest of his life??? 
We know other ESRD families that are in the basically the same kind of boat we are in. And they are just as frustrated as we are. 
I may not can create programs that they and we can qualify for now ... but goodness! There should be a way to bring us all together and have a VOICE!!! --Lord knows i have a big and loud mouth! LOL 

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I love my children and my grandchildren. I think they are all "perfect" - well, at least in my world they are. My daughter and my son are my best friends. They have made me laugh and made me cry. They have held me when i cried. They have given me comfort and strength when i was afraid. My grandchildren are the treasures of my heart and soul. I find so much happiness in them - and thank God for the life they have given to me. More than once my children and my grandchildren have been the wind beneath my wings - giving me flight on an otherwise really BAD day. 
I know that jobs and home and school along with distance and lack of money cause us not to be able to get all together as much as we would like to. I understand that. In my heart, we are all together all the time! But i just want to say that I love my children and my grandchildren, and i really, really, really miss them! Sigh. 

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