Ok - so yesterday I took the challenge to myself.
1. I kept my eye appointment! Good report was my reward. *My astigmatism has improved, so my new glasses will not be as strong. *No retina damage whatsoever. *No signs of macular degeneration. He said that was unusual, because at my age (56) there is usually some beginning signs of wearing and age on the macular - but mine looks great!
2. I took a deep breath, gathered my courage - and got my hair cut. I know to some that won't mean much, nor be such a "big deal". However, for 35 years Rick chose my hair style, going with me to get it done. In these 32 months since he died, I have just kept to the same style as when he died. Until yesterday.
Therefore, yesterday's hair cut WAS a big deal to me.
3. I also was a bit more careful of what I ate, how much, when, as well as what.
4. It was too cold to go for a walk. Would love to have a treadmill (as well as a place to keep it). Perhaps that will be one of those "later in the year" goals.
Still a lot of questions remain about where I am supposed to be, what I am supposed to be doing. The life of a widow is not easy.
But I am going to press on, be a bad-ass, kick-ass, warrior. The grief monster will NOT take me down. I may stumble, I may fall, I will make mistakes, and yes, I will have regrets. But I will also rise from the ashes and press forward.
My heart doesn't stop remembering those last months with Rick. All the pain & suffering he endured. All that it took from me to keep him calm.
We had some good moments in those months. We talked a lot. A lot. I guess the shock & numbness has worn off enough that his words are returning to my mind & heart.
Life goes on.
So why "Scattered Feathers" ? ? ?
You can read it here