Hold me Jesus ...

God, of all that you are - right now in my life ... just that you don't change. 
You are the same yesterday, today and forever. 
How much that means to me in the midst of all these changes. 
I NEED your stability.

I can't say that I always understand or agree with the way our life goes - but I can honestly say - 
"Blessed be Your Name. You give and You take away. Still I will say - BLESSED BE YOUR NAME."

Thank you for fear. 
And that  you do not condemn us when we are afraid. 
Instead your Word says that "when I am  afraid, I will call on the Name of the Lord" ... 
so thank you for fear. 
It drives me forward in faith, and makes me cry out to you. 

Thank you too that it is ok to wonder where you are in the darkness. 
Even the heroes of our faith have questioned and wondered. 
You just patiently listened and answered. 
Thank you. 

I don't like what is happening in our life, in Rick's body. 
I want my "world", my "nest", all safe and sound and secure. 
I don't like all this!!! 
But, help me to surrender to your care and your love. 
Submit to you. 

If for whatever reason this is where you want us - at least for now - then, help me to accept it and trust in Jesus. 
Help me to find your way thru it all and make the best of it. 
Not to miss one blessing that can be turned back to praise to you. 
My spirit grieves. 
My heart hurts. 
My mind is busy and stressed.
Help me, O help me - to trust in Jesus. 
Help me to remember that I don't live by feelings. 
Dissolve "me" away, until only YOU remain ... 
So that I can live by faith in the Son of God of loved me and gave Himself for me. 
Sometimes I just have to LET IT GO. 
LET GOD BE GOD.
BREATHE IN AND BREATHE OUT. 
TRUST IN JESUS.

Father, help me to leave the battles with you.
The battle against guilt and condemnation. 
The battle with the ghosts of regrets and mistakes that haunt and torment.  
The battle even with the "good ghosts" of memories past. 
The battle with "hopes deferred" and dreams that die. 
The battle that wages in my mind and in my heart ... 
All of which leads to a battle in just breathing and living. 
The battle with fears and worries ...
With second guessing choices and decisions ...
No matter the "root" of the battle - 
Help me please.
Just to give it all to you. 
Leave it all with you.
Let it all go. 
Trust in you.
Stand on the Promises that you have already WON!!! 
It's all too much for me anyway! 
Just too much.
Psalm 131

O God - Abba Father - 
You are all GOD.
And I am such a child. 
But ... I am YOURS. 
All Yours. 
Thank you. 
I love you. 
Be my Strong Defender, my Great Deliverer today. 
Please.